All You Ever Wanted
by LetThereBeRaito
Summary: Raito Yagami is young, smart, reliable and ... terrified. Having just started at a new school, he wishes to stick to the shadows and stay out of everyone's way...That is, until he meets the charasmatic Ryuzaki who he becomes irresistably compelled to...
1. Chapter 1

To those that have either recently looked on my profile, or read the note thing I posted earlier today, you'll know why this familiar chapter is being posted again. Thanks to some amazingly wonderful fan fic-ers I have retrieved the main core of my Death Note fics and am posting them back up to where they belong ^0^

So, thank you so much to Jesena, who had the WHOLE of Restrictions! (WOO GO HER!) Hari-Aisu who brought back this baby (or was this Jesena too? I know you both had this story saved and I cant remember who sent me this one now D: THANKS BOTH ANYWAY :D) :D And also Ladyblue17 who wished she could help XD

I'ma oo tired to go through the rest of the file and separate all he chapters D: So I shall do that tomorrow!

Thanks everyone, and sorry if you've read this before XD

Chapter 1- First Day.

6:30 am:

Raito Yagami, 16. Young, smart, reliable…and terrified.

The incessant beeping of his bed side alarm clock drilled into his head as he sat there, the though not even presenting itself to hit the off switch. But this wasn't because it was early, or because he was tired, groggy from the perfunctory rise out of bed. No, in fact he had been up for the past two hours.

Just staring into space.

Eventually the realization that the electronic staccato was actually coming from his clock, and not some distant part of his brain, he slumped a heavy hand over the machine and ceased the noise.

Time to get up and get ready.

A quick shower deemed him prepared to change into his neatly pressed, brand new uniform. Before heading down stairs he ran his straighteners through his hair a few times just to ensure every last strand was in place.

As he took in his reflection, his perfect hair, uniform starched, face clean and free from spots, he breathed a heavy sigh, his chest noticeably heaving.

I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready.

He repeated this mantra over and over again to himself, silently, just under his breath, as he descended into the kitchen, where his mother had already laid out a breakfast of toast, half a grapefruit and a glass of fresh orange juice.

"Good morning, Raito."

"Morning, Mum." His voice betrayed his wrought nerves. However, his mother seemed too busy with the chores to notice. Suddenly, she stopped and looked at him.

"Isn't that far too bitter with out any sugar?" She pulled a face as he spooned out the un-sweetened flesh of the grapefruit, pink and juicy.

"I hate sugar," He mumbled as he swallowed his mouthful. Upon finishing he dabbed at his mouth with a supplied napkin, despite the fact he had not let any of the juices run onto his chin.

His chair scraped against the lino as he pushed it back, standing up and ready to leave.

Grabbing his bag from it's place next to the front door he heard his mother call out just before he left;

"Raito, try to have a good day. It's a new school, things will be different."

He just hoped that they were.

8:00am

Despite the fact that he was new. Despite the fact that he did not really know where his class room was. Despite the fact that he didn't have any help finding his way there, Yagami Raito was still earlier than the rest of his new class mates.

Cautiously, he wondered through the door, staring apprehensively at the rows and rows of empty single desks.

A small panic rose in his chest.

There's far more desks in here than in my old school.

Which meant far more students to one room.

His parents had thought that sending him to a school with fewer students per room, more intimate teaching, that Raito would benefit, his problem would become resolved. But that wasn't the case. It was almost worse. Everybody knew you. You couldn't hide so well. So they immediately transferred him to a regular public school. More students per class. Less time with the teacher. Not that he needed more time devoted to him. All he wanted to do was blend in. To hide.

Jovial chatter abruptly snapped him out of his wonderings as the students began to filter in.

His heart rate rose slightly as these unfamiliar faces filed in around him. He retrieved a few intrigued stares as the students took to their desks, but nobody appeared to want to bother him.

So far so good.

Morning class went rather smoothly.

He was briefly introduced by his homeroom teacher, (thankfully, he did all the talking. Raito did not have to say a word) and the lesson proceeded on in an amiable silence.

Now all he had to do was get through morning break. Alone.

11:00 am

The school grounds were bathed in the bright light of spring, urging practically every student out of the building and into the sun.

As he stood by the main front doors of the school, Raito considered his options.

One: The roof. That's where he always used to situate himself at his last school. But the sun was out. It was a lovely day. There were bound to be loads of others with the same idea.

Two: The gym. He wasn't entirely sure where that was however, and he wasn't prepared to ask someone.

Three: Beneath a shaded tree. Out of the way.

Weighing up the pros and cons, three stood out as the most appealing.

He surveyed his surroundings, but came up trumps. There were no trees. And the entire area of grass was encompassed with kids.

He sighed, shoulders slumped.

He was going to have to head inside. Find an empty class room. A shame on such a lovely day.

As he entered the corridor the excitable chatter of the outside world died away, to be replaced with the sound of his echoing footsteps. His polished, leather shoes clacking obtrusively on the hard floor.

To his surprise, there were numerous students occupying the space by the lockers which lined the walls of his current path.

A particularly large group of girls were huddled outside the toilet doors, a distinct smell of smoke looming over them. Their uniforms had been noticeably altered to fit each ones individual standards; skirts shortened, loose socks added, jackets home tailored to become more fitting.

Just the type of person Raito wanted to avoid

As he passed he could not help but over hear certain snippets of conversation.

"…so you did it!"

"…already told you didn't I?"

"oh my GOD!"

"I can't believe it!"

"I DON'T believe it!"

Each girl had something to say, followed by accompanied squeals of delight. Raito wasn't usually one to eaves drop, especially given his nervous disposition, but he could not help but find his interest piqued.

He slowed his pace almost noticeably, and when he realized that wasn't going to work he halted by the boys toilets and rummaged through his bag, making sure he was at least a good two metres away from the huddle of excitement.

Close enough to hear, far enough to look inconspicuous.

"…must be lying."

"…Am not! I….not like….that!"

He could still only pick out keywords, but he wasn't prepared to move closer.

Their conversation appeared to be heading in the same direction, not particularly reaching a peak, and Raito's interest began to wane. Until one simple noise stopped the conversation dead.

The creaking of a door opening at one end of the corridor.

Followed by the distinct sound of sneakers squeaking upon the tiled flooring.

Frantic whispers suddenly erupted from the group as their collective attention became fixated on one particular aspect.

Raito stopped, drew his hand out of his bag and looked up.

What could have caused them to…

A harsh whisper sounded as one of the girls, the one with the shortest skirt, elbowed another and hissed "if it's true, ask him now!"

Did they not realize that a whisper was far more audible than speaking in low tones? Sometimes Raito marvelled at the worlds stupidity. Secretly, of course.

The gathering was apparantly blocking his view from whatever it was that had so indefinitely caught their attention, until one of them stepped forward, clearing his line of sight, in the direction of…

Raito's breath became caught in his throat.

Who was that?

Heading down the corridor, shoulders stooped, loping stride, lithe body, fashionably mussed hair…was a boy…no, young man even, his attention apparantly elsewhere as he listened with an aloof air to the music emitting from his DJ style head phones. He was clothed, if Raito were to fathom another guess, in expensive brand names. Nothing designer in the way of Gucci for example, but none the less, clothes that would cost a lot more than Raito's part time job would allow.

As he drew closer, an alabaster hand, with skin so perfect and white, reached out and removed the black, tinted shades covering his eyes… His eyes, which Raito could now see, which were so striking and dark and…like no eyes he'd never seen before. Despite the fact he was Asian, living amongst other Asians, he had never seen such dark eyes. And what was stranger was that this man was distinctly Western. And for a third guess, he would say American, judging by his ease of style. He just oozed confidence.

He was now just mere metres from the girls, their postures noticeably stiff and tense, the atmosphere heavy with the impression they were all holding their breath in anticipation. Suddenly, the girl with the short skirt's elbow jutted out and pushed another with long, straight hair into this unknown man's path.

It was almost as if he hadn't seen her, only managing to halt his steps just before he walked straight into her.

Her hands fidgeting extremely noticeably, she looked up towards the impressively tall being. His deep gaze settling upon her wrought face.

"uh..uh Ryuzaki, hi!"

"Hello…" His voice. His voice! it was low, deep, smooth and shockingly…English. He had even greeted her in English. Despite the fact that Raito was fluent in the language, it still sounded so…exotic.

"Uh…so…did you…uh…have a good time Saturday?" She nervously toyed with a lock of auburn hair. Trying to be cute? Or just an idiosyncrasy. Raito couldn't be sure.

He continued to hold her with that hypnotic gaze. His breathing shallow, his reply slow to come. Very slow. He regarded her carefully before answering, almost causing her to pass out from the tension.

"Saturday?"

"Y…yeah. Remember? We…uh…we went to the cinema together…and…and then for a drink."

He waited a while before answering again, as if each reply took an immense amount of thought and consideration before it was ready to be heard.

"You are..?"

Her face dropped. As did her heart. You could feel it. Eyes wide in disbelief, she stuttered "…A…Azumi."

A musical sound emitted from his deep in his throat. "Ooooh." A sound of sudden realization.

She appeared momentarily satiated by his response.

"You'll have to forgive me, Azuma, I just forgot which one you were from Saturday." And without allowing her to continue, he replaced his headphones and strode on, past Raito as if he didn't even exist, and disappeared through a door at the far left.

The girl just stood there.

"It's Azumi," She whispered.

Somehow, Raito could see why this girl was so devastated.

2.30pm

Afternoon classes appeared to sail by without incident. Raito was left to his own devices, nobody bothered him. It was…good. He supposed.

No, it was definitely good. He would rather go unnoticed, not talking to anybody, than having a few friends plus the treatment he used to get.

But it was still early days.

Optimism, Raito.

Be optimistic, optimistic, optimistic, optimistic.

He repeated the word over and over in his head, as if it would actually incite optimism within him, as he headed for the front doors and out into the school fields.

The last break hadn't been successful. After the small pause to view that painfully awkward exchange between that girl and that boy…man…boy? He had found solace in an empty class room, only to be turfed out soon afterwards by the teacher who wished to mark papers in there in silence.

Raito didn't have the confidence to insist he would stay quiet, so he just did as he was told and left.

And sat reading for ten minutes…by himself…in the toilets.

The sun enveloped him, warming his skin, almost inducing a feeling of well being. Hoisting his bag onto his shoulder , he strode across the grass until he had reached a far corner of the school fence. Out of sight.

Out of mind.

A lunch had already been prepared for him this morning (his mother insisted she do it, to allow him more time to prepare himself for his first day), but he did not particularly find the idea of eating his mother's homemade bento box at school, in view of everybody else, appealing.

It just didn't really have the right sort of stigma attached to it…

Extracting his well read, dog eared version of For Whom the Bell Tolls, he settled into the warmth of the sun and began reading the words he had already seen so many times over.

Settled, content, undisturbed…Clack.

A small force knocked the book in his hand.

Clack, clack.

Two more followed in quick succession.

His heart beat sped.

Gradually, he lowered the book away from his face.

"Oi, new kid."

Five boys stood before him, none particularly abiding by the rule of school uniform.

Shit.

Shaved, pierced, Christ, even tattooed.

Shit, shit, shit, shit.

Raito had to physically stop himself from trembling. He willed himself to move. However, his legs did not want to respond.

The guy in front, the one with the black Mohawk and tanned arms decorated in permanently inked art fumbled with a few stones in his right hand. Rolling them around his fingers as if implying he aware about to throw another.

"Get up."

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

He couldn't get up. Not wouldn't, couldn't.

"Hey, I said get up."

His hand appeared to fidget with the stones more obviously. Or did he just imagine it?

Someway, somehow, he managed to summon the energy to bring him to his feet, shoving his book in his back pocket as he did so. His brain capacity not quite allowing him to think to return it to his bag.

The guy on the left noticed the movement and raised a questioning eyebrow at the motion.

The guy with the headphones hanging around his neck, shades in hand…

It was him.

Raito swallowed.

Nobody said a word.

Just stared.

And then eventually, as if on an invisible que, the one donning the Mohawk stepped forward.

Raito's heart seized.

"Go.

Away."

He didn't just go away.

He fled.

4:00pm

Home free.

Safe now, safe now, safe now, safe now.

As he exited the school gates, a great feeling of freedom washed over him. Relief.

It was the best time of the day. Not only had he left school, but it was also the longest possible time until he was next there. Of course, except for the weekends.

He wasn't even entirely sure why he had to go. He knew everything the text books had to offer. The teachers supplied no new information. He could do the exams with his eyes shut. Why couldn't he just take them now?

The sun began its descent, the sky hinting that is were about to turn orange. Raito buttoned up his blazer, a chill suddenly noticeable.

This school was a little further from home than his last one, so, deciding that he did not wish to walk the whole forty minute journey, he took to an alley just a little way ahead that he was almost certain would cut at least ten minutes from his route.

The alley was in actual fact a collection of back gardens. Well, not literally, it was more of a neglected path way with tall wooden fences on either side. Their only purpose probably to block the owners views of such an unsightly vision. The ground was littered with fallen rubbish from knocked over bins, weeds creeping their way out of cracks in the pavement and old forgotten toys, probably ones which had been thrown over the fences by children, lay discarded before him like fallen soldiers.

One more turn ahead would deem him close to home if not for…

Oof.

Three tall guys standing right in his way.

"I'm...uh sorry, I..."

Ryuzaki.

Now that Raito was right in front of him, standing, he realized they were in actual fact the same height. Maybe it was his overbearing presence which made him come across so tall.

His dark shades hid whatever thought was running through his head right now. Lazily, he pushed and the dark strands of fringe which had fallen into his line of sight, and then languidly scratched at his neck, disturbing the silver chain around his throat.

And then one corner of his mouth tugged up.

"No problem…" He said slowly.

The two guys with him watched the exchange carefully. He recognised them as the ones from afternoon break.

Despite the fact that it was 'no problem', Ryuzaki appeared to make no attempt at moving out of the way.

After a painful wait, one which took Raito all of his strength not to buckle under, The raven haired man stepped aside and made a sweeping gesture with his arm.

"Thank you…" He muttered, eyes shielded by his hair.

Cautiously, he went on, having to take a large step to avoid tripping over Ryuzaki's jean clad legs, which were stretched out before him as he leant back against the wall.

A hand slapped his behind as he was almost out of reach. The shock causing Raito to look back in alarm.

His shades removed, Ryuzaki gave a wink and a short hand movement in place of a wave.

Just get the hell home.

8:00pm

Today…had been awful.

His mother asked him how it had gone. Easily, he replied 'Fine, mum. I agree with you. I do think it's going to be different here.'

He didn't want to worry her.

And changing schools was just becoming exhausting.

Raito slumped heavily into his computer chair, loosening his tie and undoing his top button. A heavy sigh escaped his lips against his will.

Reaching over to flick on his desk lamp, he decided he would end the night by reading the rest of For Whom the Bell Tolls. He had no homework to do. He'd finished it all in class whilst the rest of the students were still completing their school work.

Rifling through his bag, he momentarily couldn't place where he had last put the novel…

When did he have it last?

…Oh yeah…when those guys told me to get lost.

He'd quickly jammed it into his back pocket in his haste to leave.

Reaching into his drawer to extract the neatly folded school trousers, he soon realized that the garment was far to light to hold a book.

Regardless, he shook them out anyway.

No, nothing.

Where had he..?

That was definitely the last place he…

Then a vision struck. On the way home, a rather inappropriate slap from a rather inappropriate student which had almost rendered him immobile with the shock.

He…he stole my book?

Raito sat, and puzzled, his face stamped with concern illuminated by the dull bulb of his energy efficient lamp.

Why would he take it?

Raito's chest tightened.

Why was he such an easy target?

…

Switching off the light, he crawled into bed, shedding his clothes and encompassing himself in the duvet.

It was only 8:30.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2 IS BACK, BABY, YEH

This one's for Violet Velvetine because she was sweet enough to be prepared and WILLING to type out the chapters she had printed out of this! SO DANG NICE OF YOU! It's really nice to find I have such supportive readers XD Thanks guys xxx

Chapter 2- Unexpected.

The bell rang through the class initiating morning break as Raito sat patiently at his desk, awaiting the students to file out of the door.

Finally, quiet.

The room was still, peaceful. Reaching beneath his desk and into his bag, he extracted his leather bound notebook, opening it to a fresh page to begin taking notes for the essay which had just been set.

Immersing himself in writing he was unaware of the approaching footsteps.

A heavy thud abruptly pulled him out of his trance.

Upon his desk lay a familiar item in place of his notebook.

"I lost my copy."

Raito glanced up. Sitting casually upon the desk in front was that guy.

Ryuzaki.

"Sorry, I should have asked to borrow it." A mischievous grin pulled at his lips, revealing a row of bright white teeth.

Today he wore a red hooded sweatshirt emblazoned with a familiar skate logo, the silver chain visible at his neck.

The boy was lost for words.

This was exactly the situation that would make him tremble, want to run. But, strangely, he felt ok.

The words he was saying, they could be taken for petty teasing, but Raito couldn't detect any malicious intent.

Finally, the fairer haired of the two looked up to lock gazes.

"Really?"

Ryuzaki had pulled his knees up to his chest, sitting precariously on the edge of the desk, absently picking at his teeth.

Raito had no idea why, but it was strangely becoming on the man.

His chocolate eyes flicked over to Raito in questioning.

"'Really', what?"

"Did you really lose your copy?" He was talking with ease. He had no idea how. A small swell of pride rose in his chest, quickly to be extinguished upon realizing how pathetic he was being.

"Nah, I lied." he disregarded the comment with a small, indignant laugh. "Course I did. Funny thing to say if I hadn't."

Raito studied the man's face. It was perfectly shaped, his jaw line tapering off into a neat 'V', his chin small and rounded, his skin so white and smooth, contrasting perfectly with his almost black eyes.

He seemed so far away from the juvenile delinquent he came across as yesterday.

Was he honestly being serious?

He didn't initially take this guy for the type to enjoy classic literature.

He proffered the beaten novel.

"If you wanna finish it take it for a while longer." He was actually offering out his belongings. To a fellow student.

Ryuzaki hopped down from the table, his black converse hitting the floor with a screech.

"No need, I finished it last night."

_Excuse me?_

"You must have been up for hours..." despite his initial surprise, he managed an easy reply.

_I'm doing really well here._

Raito would like to indulge himself in the fantasy that his confidence had miraculously risen over night, but he knew it was more to do with the easy nature this man before him was currently exuding. And the fact that they were talking on the same level. Sort of.

Well, their interests seemed to match at least.

"I've read it so many times now, it's just an ease to get through. Took me a couple hours still."

What?

521 pages…in a couple of hours?

The distinct feeling that he was in fact being teased suddenly arose.

Without warning, Ryuzaki's elbows plopped down upon Raito's desk, his face intruding his personal space.

"You think I'm lying don't you?"

His stare was intense. Which was bad enough when you were a distance away from somebody. But when you were this close…

Raito's cheeks flared.

"I never…"

"Go on, test me."

"Sorry?"

"Test me."

Ryuuzaki pushed himself back, averting his gaze momentarily towards the window, where the watery morning sunlight was streaming through, and fiddled absently with the cords on his sweater.

"How do you mean…"

Raito had a pretty good idea what he meant. But he didn't quite believe him.

"Pick a page. Any page. Wait, even better. Pick a PARAGRAPH on that page."

His chocolate eyes were once again entirely focused upon Raito, the small, neat figure who barely occupied any of the surrounding space.

Most of that was consumed by this being in front of him.

"Page 19, paragraph 15."

Clearing his throat, Ryuzaki stood tall and projected into the room,

'If it is in this territory, it is my business. You cannot blow bridges close to where you live. You must live in one place and operate in another. I know my business. One who is alive, now, after a year, knows his business.'"

Raito's eyes narrowed in suspicion. He didn't even know if there were fifteen paragraphs on page nineteen. He'd just pulled the numbers out of the air.

Ryuzaki picked up on his confusion and motioned encouragingly towards the book.

Slowly, carefully, as if he were about to be met with a nasty surprise, he opened the book and flicked to the correct page.

"Shit."

How did he..?

His mouth open, he raised his head to stare at this dark haired individual in wonder.

"Photographic memory," He tapped his temple and winked with those dark eyes.

"I apologize…I…misjudged you yesterday…"

"Oh?" He raised an eye brow. "How so?"

Oh god. Now what was he supposed to say. How could he not make his reply sound insulting?

"The way you spoke to that girl yesterday…I just kinda…got the impression you weren't entirely educated."

"What girl?" His face deadpan. He really had no clue.

Raito internally sighed. So much for photographic memory.

"The one in the hall. Long, red hair."

Deep, dark eyes looked to the ceiling as he searched his mind for an answer. Maybe it took him so long because he had so much information holed up in there.

"Oh, yeah, her."

Raito awaited further response. However, he just got stared at. Apparantly, he had finished.

Eventually he said, "How'd you know about that?"

"I was there." Raito mumbled, concentrating upon his worn book.

"Oh, you were the one in the skirt, yeah?" He allowed himself a snicker at his own humorous response.

An eyebrow ascended into Raito's hairline.

The chair situated in front of his desk scraped across the floor as the man plonked himself in it, one arm resting against the curved, wooden back.

"So, what's your deal?"

Raito's pen ceased moving across the paper, where he had once again resumed taking notes.

"…you mean…drugs?"

"Why, you got some?"

"No!"

"Then I didn't mean drugs."

Raito blinked. Once. Twice. No, he was still there. He wasn't imagining this surreal exchange.

"But seriously, what's your deal? I mean, where you from, why you here half way through a term?"

As he spoke, a lacteal hand slid into his jeans pocket, today black, well fitted, and extracted a fresh pack of cigarettes.

Raito eyed them cautiously. He hated smoke. The smell of it. Dirty. Clinging.

Tearing off the cellophane wrapper, he popped open the carton and extracted one of the filtered sticks.

Proffering the pack, he posed the obvious question.

"Smoking kills." Raito replied bluntly.

"Oh, I've known odder things to kill," His dark eyes creased in mirth.

Raito, momentarily baffled by the odd response, watched as he lit the cigarette with a quick flick of his red, transparent lighter.

"Surely that would result in expulsion," Raito tersely said, eyes fixed once again upon his paper.

"Nah"

Ryuzaki tilted his head back to the ceiling as he took an exceptionally large drag, his chest rising and then falling once again as he exhaled the smoke with a euphoric sigh.

He stubbed it out beneath the desk he was seated at.

"They won't know."

"You only had one drag..? Hardly seems worth it."

"I just like the initial rush." He grinned his toothy grin.

Raito's heart skipped a beat for a reason he couldn't quite fathom.

"So, you were saying?" Ryuzaki began.

"Sorry?"

"You were just gonna tell me your story."

His stomach turned over, his heart plummeted. He didn't particularly feel like sharing at the moment.

"We moved house. I needed to swap schools."

That lie, stupid lie, just flowed out. Without his minds permission. Now he was going to have to lie further.

"Where'd you move from?"

Yes. Right on que.

Simple. Something simple and easy to keep track of.

"Up north."

"Huh…" He nodded, his fringe falling over his eyes.

"Didn't mean to scare you yesterday."

This completely caught Raito off guard. He had almost forgotten about the confrontation (one sided as it was) at lunch the day previous.

He chose silence.

"I don't gettit. Why are you so nervous?" He stood up, stretched, his sweatshirt rising in the process to reveal flat, white stomach, and crouched by the side of the boys chair. With his left hand he reached out and took Raito's chin, lifting his head so they were eye to eye.

"Such a pretty boy, like you…"

The grip on his pen tensed, nails digging into his palm and the utter shock of this statement sunk in. His cheeks flushed and forehead prickled with sweat.

His hand remained fixed upon his chin, holding him in place, no intention of letting their gaze break.

Finally, he let go, sprang up from the floor and removed his hooded sweatshirt.

"Getting hot in here, don't you think?"

He threw the garment to one side as if it were trash. All he wore beneath was a plain white vest, revealing his slim, toned arms.

"…I suppose."

Although Raito didn't think it was the temperature of the room causing his cheeks to blaze.

He was being toyed with.

He was clearly being toyed with.

They sat in an awkward silence for a few moments. Although to Ryuzaki it more than likely came across as amiable. Raito had already deduced that he was the kind of guy who was phased by nothing.

Footsteps could be heard echoing from down the hall. Footsteps produced by more than one person.

Ryuuzaki glanced towards the door.

"Hey, guys, I was lookin' for you."

He offered the statement the second his three friends from the day before appeared at the open doorway, as if already poised and prepared.

He bent down, grabbed his sweater and walked out to meet them.

As they left, Raito could just make out the voices before they faded into the echoes of the hall.

"Who were you just talking to?"

"Me? No one. I was only in there looking for you guys."

Raito stopped, his pen poised upwards as if showing it were ready to continue writing.

Maybe he was phased by some things then.

"Raito, your home."

"Raito's home!" Sayu, his little sister, always exuberant and ecstatic to see him. He had no idea why.

"You make any friends today, Raito?"

He looked down into his sisters bright eyes.

She was always so hopeful. He sort of envied that.

He patted her on the head and walked past into the kitchen.

"Maybe…I'm not quite sure…"

"Ryuzaki!"

The young girl waved energetically from her post at the bench. As she stood, the breeze ruffling her skirt, her black pigtails brushing back over her shoulders.

She was cute. Not beautiful. But cute.

Ryuzaki was used to more, but she'd do.

"Hey," he said in his languid manner as he approached.

Something about the lazy way he spoke often got to them. He had no idea why, but they seemed to like it.

She grinned up at him, her cheeks brushed pink from the cold.

"Aren't you cold in that?" He motioned to her short skirt and sleeveless, yellow shirt.

"Nah…I'm fine."

_Fine? Your freezing. If you wanna impress me, be a bit more sensible._

As they began to walk she looped her arm through his.

"So…" She started coyly. "Aren't you gonna offer me your jacket?"

His mouth lifted at one corner.

"And then I'd be shivering and you'd have to offer it back."

Her eyebrow twitched slightly at the cruel words hidden beneath his mirth.

"Ha ha, you're right."

They walked on in silence for a moment, the cool of the night nipping at their cheeks.

"Besides, leather wouldn't suit you. Unless your planning on hangin' around street corners."

He could feel her grip on his arm loosen. Her face noticeably wounded. He didn't even need to look at her to confirm this.

But he had to let her know. Let her know that she wasn't a serious thing. He was bored. She was an easy lay.

They reached the end of the path spotlighted by street lamps and came out onto the main road, dotted with cars and the loud hubbub of Tokyo night life.

"So, where you taking me, Ryuzaki?" Apparantly, insults of just passed had been forgotten.

"You're not old enough to drink, are you?" He asked without looking at her. More as if the question were directed towards the bar in his direct line of sight.

He could sense her frown. The confusion enveloping her cute little face.

"No…but neither are you."

"This says I am." He replied, flicking a card through his fingers.

"I'll pose the question in simpler terms. Do you have one of these?"

"Oh!" Her features lit up in realization as she studied the fake I.D. But promptly drooped. "No, I don't."

He looked down at her, the disappointment flitting through her at the idea that he might now cut their date short.

"Hey, don't worry." He rested a gloved hand upon her cold shoulder, prickled with goose pimples. Her body stiffened from the contact, her eyes lit up once again.

This girl sure could go through a range of emotions.

Her attention was momentarily distracted by the bright lights of the city around her.

"Azumi."

"Huh?" She turned back to face him.

"I said Azumi…"

"What about Azumi?" She arranged her features into a neat little frown. A small pout residing on her lips.

Shit.

Shit, that wasn't her name, was it?

"Oh, I just thought I saw a girl from my class."

He shrugged, nonchalantly.

Anyway, at least he now had get attention.

She appeared satisfied with this response, and let him know with a grab of his hand, pulling him towards the arcade just across the street, brimming with teenagers and loud noises, bright colours and excitement.

"We can't drink, but we can still have fun!"

As he found himself being dragged towards the unwelcoming sight, he rolled his eyes, wishing that he hadn't even bothered.

Was pretending to have fun, enjoying her company even worth the effort?

He smiled in all the right places as she told cute anecdotes about her and her friends. Relayed what she did at school that day and who she hung out with. Who her favourite bands were and what her interests consisted of as they toyed with a few of the machines, pumping in loose change they had lying spare in their wallets.

After an hour he could no longer endure the mundane surroundings of the arcade. It was just so…un stimulating.

"How about the park?"

She suggested when they once again greeted the cool night air, as she clearly withstood the urge to shiver.

The park? What, were they kids? Intending to just make out on a park bench, in the freezing night air? He didn't do parks, and he certainly didn't go through all of this to just 'make out'.

"Why not head back to my place?" He offered light heartedly.

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Won't your parents mind?"

This response had incited an amused snort.

Parents?

As he lay in bed, just a few hours later, girl encased in sleep and draped across his chest, he glanced at the digital clock. The red led's flashed intermittently, reading 3:43 am.

It was funny.

He'd had a better time this morning, holding a proper conversation with that new kid, Raito. What he found even funnier was that he could remember his name.

But couldn't recall for the life of him the name of the girl he was sharing a bed with right now.

3:50 am.

Raito was awake.

More precisely, Raito was still awake.

He was scanning through the yellowed pages of For Whom the Bell Tolls, attempting to retain the pages word for word.

He started off slowly, remembering certain paragraphs from single pages. Easy. And slowly became more ambitious. Recalling certain parts of whole chapter. That was a challenge. But to just recite one paragraph, out of the whole book, off by heart at a moment's notice?

He had no idea how he had done it.

What shocked him most was that it displayed a level of intellect that, dare he say it…surpassed his own.

He was, admittedly, in awe.

This guy was good looking, stylish, clearly immensely popular…but he was so smart.

Did anybody else realize?

Maybe he hid it.

Maybe he didn't hide it. Just nobody else had taken the time to notice.

But still, he couldn't help but feel at a loss.

Here he was, continually jumping from school to school, avoiding those he feared, partly because of the unwanted attention he receieved due to his intellect. Not the main reason. But definately part of it.

He had endured cruel taunts, abuse, lived his life trembling in the toilets at break, hiding in class rooms, camping out in closets…just so that he could be left in peace for a while. So he could maybe avoid a scarring remark, or a physical bruise.

But today they had connected, hadn't they?

Despite the fact that they were polar opposites, Ryuzaki had taken the time to talk to him, take an interest and actually discuss intellectual subjects (well, subject).

He seemed so care free…

Although, hadn't he denied to his friends that they had been talking?

Why was that?

Maybe Raito was just paranoid?

Or maybe he had felt the need to save his reputation. He couldn't been seen talking to the new guy. The loner. The one who runs the minute he's told to 'go away'.

His eyelids grew heavy, despite how active his mind was, and sleep soon pulled him under.

He would soon face a new day.


	3. Chapter 3

This one's fo' soen-chan's Alumina, you know why! *whispers* p.s. would you still be up for some beta-ing?

Chapter 3- Betrayal

The minute he awoke, the morning sunlight blocked out by his heavy curtains, he knew that he was alone. Not because he couldn't feel the restrictive weight of another person upon his chest, or because he could sense that he was the only presence in the room, it was because they were always gone come morning. He threw back the covers and tugged the curtains open.

Looking around the room, he could detect no evidence of it ever being shared last night. No tell-tale signs such as forgotten articles of clothing, pieces of underwear sticking out from under the duvet, not even any strands of long hair left behind on his white pillows.

He sighed. Although not because he regretted that he was alone. No, that was a good thing. But because he really couldn't muster the enthusiasm he needed to head into school today, and have to sit there, listening to the teachers drone on, pretending he was learning something when that was as far from the truth as possible. He already knew everything the curriculum had to offer. And that was him being modest. But he had to continue on all the same.

A short rap at the door caused him to pull on his discarded jeans from the night previous.

"Ryuzaki."

It was Watari, dressed impeccably in his black uniform, despite the early hour of 6am. His hands bore a polished, silver trey adorned with coffee, a bowl of sugar cubes and a chocolate sundae presented in a long, slim glass, topped off with a glacier cherry.

Yes, he admitted it. He had highly unusual eating habits.

Entering the room, only once he had been invited, he set the trey down upon Ryuzaki's dresser table, the china items clinking with the disturbance.

"I saw to it that Miss…" He paused to allow the young man to enlighten him of the girls name. Ryuzaki just looked at him with weary eyes and lifted his bare shoulders into a shrug.

The old man's white eyebrow lifted somewhat in concern. "…I drove Miss home earlier this morning."

Ryuzaki could hear the barely concealed disapproval in his voice. For most people, this kind of attitude from your butler would be considered as the overstepping of boundaries. But Watari, he was practically family. And since he had no other family, what could he do?

As much as the disdain for his actions caused him to feel something close to shame, he could not help but secretly crave the father esque attention. He scratched absently at his sleep messed hair as he stifled a yawn.

"Thank you, Watari." And then he added with a grin; "You've always got my back."

"And I always will do, Ryuzaki."

He turned to leave after excusing himself with a short bow.

"That's what I promised your father."

These last words uttered under his breath weren't to be heard by the young man back in his room, spooning cube after cube of sugar into his coffee.

Raito arrived at school with a new feeling of hope. It was only a small, almost insignificant sense, but none the less, it was a step forward. Who'd have thought that he would find a form of solace, no matter how small, in the guise of one of the most popular students?

He even surprised himself when that morning, a question which was posed in physics, a particularly difficult question which nobody seemed to fathom, he tentatively raised his hands and clearly (but also quietly) stated the solution.

The teacher congratulated him, none of his classmates regarded him with distaste and, well, his world retained its sense of equilibrium.

He allowed himself a smile at the idea that something awful would have ever come of it.

His hour long lunch break soon arrived and, as the sky had become heavily overcast with the distinct threat of rain, he decided upon spending his spare time in the library.

If there was one part of a school he loved, it was always the library, without a doubt. The musty smell of well read books, the undisturbed quiet, the rows and rows of countless novels free for him to pick up at any time. Perfect. A well of knowledge that was so terribly underestimated in this era of technology.

Sliding a rather fat volume from a shelf situated at the far, most intimate corner of the library, he settled himself into an empty desk and turned to the opening page. Sheltered by the towering book cases, nobody to bother him. Wonderful.

Part of the way through the beginning chapter, he stopped, swearing that he could hear something. A sort of small, grating noise. Almost like the sound a tiny gear would make.

And then it stopped. He resumed reading, finding himself reiterating the same paragraph he had only just taken in, due to losing his place on the page.

_Cliiiick, cliiiick, cliiiick._

What was that?

He shut the hard cover, deciding that he could no longer continue now that his concentration had been so irrevocably lost.

He was just about to stand, when his neck hairs stood on end, soft lips pressed against his ear, as a whisper emitted; "Hello, kitten…"

Startled, he pushed back his chair, causing Ryuzaki to stumble. His eyes were wide in alarm as he stared at the man.

"Ain't you gonna say hi back?" He feigned hurt as he clutched at his chest, twisting the front of his white, short sleeved t shirt in his grip.

"Hey…" Was all he could muster.

Happy with that, Ryuzaki's features returned to normal, and he resumed thumbing the flint of his lighter. Creating that awful, grating noise.

"So, I was thinking'" he took step closer towards Raito, unintentionally backing the boy into the desk. "You wanna go out with me?"

Raito's jaw dropped, impossible thoughts running through his head as he sought the correct words.

"You mean...what?"

"Yeah, on a date." He chirped. "...Of course not on a date. I just thought…well, here it is Right-o…"

"It's Light," he interjected, to his own surprise.

"I'm fully aware of your name, kid. Anyway, as I was saying, here it is…"

He spread his arms wide and sighed, as if about to reveal a long kept secret which he had been desperate to air. "You're cool."

…

_Cool?_

Raito's heart rate sped as the blood rushed to his head, causing him to feel slightly dizzy.

Ryuzaki smiled.

Not smirked.

Smiled.

"What makes you say that?"

Of all the things he could have said, of all the things he wanted to say, he just had to question the most important compliment he had ever gotten.

"Hey, I dunno. Why is the sky blue? Why is the grass green?" He posed rhetorically.

"solar radiation reaching the Earth's…

" …surface after having been scattered from a direct solar beam by molecules or suspensoids in the atmosphere. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, Yagami, try not to take things so literally."

Raito paused, forgetting to grow embarrassed from being shot down at the plain surprise of this man having learnt his surname. They didn't share any classes, so he couldn't imagine where he had heard it.

"How do you know my name?" Bewilderment coming through.

"Something called Google. Look it up." He shrugged. A motion which Raito was becoming to recognise as a trait.

He Googled me?

"Was that meant to be marginally ironic?"

"Yeah, I guess. Didn't really work though, did it?" He laughed, his white teeth flashing as the sweet sound escaped his throat.

Pulling the chair out from under the table, he swung himself into it, fixing Raito with his hypnotic stare.

"Learnt some things about you."

His stomach churned, a lump fast rising in his throat. What could he have possibly found out?

"Used to be in a theatrical group a good few years ago. At a school near by. I suppose you could say it was up North given it's direction from this particular point, but I'm going more with you were trying to mislead me."

Shit.

He knew he'd lied.

He wanted to get out of there.

Ryuzaki, sensing the boy's immediate discomfort, stood up and, totally and completely unexpectedly, took the boy into his arms and held him tight.

He smelt…gorgeous.

He closed his eyes for a second, the scent bringing to him comforts he never thought he'd know, before he realized the full extent of this contact.

Raito pulled back, his palms flat against Ryuzaki's chest. And then quickly removed them.

He spread his arms wide in a gesture of apology. "Sorry, didn't mean to over step my boundaries. Just my way of letting you know I'm not mad that you lied."

The boys amber eyes looked up forlornly.

"Aw, Don't look at me like that. You'll make me melt…" The last part was delivered as a small tune.

Heat rose from Raito's neck, travelling up into his cheeks. Frowning, his eyes stinging from embarrassment, he reached out to retrieve the book and busied himself with replacing it to its correct position.

"So, I just wondered. How was someone as meek as you ever in a theatrical group? Something happen to make you this way?" He began to fiddle with his lighter again, tapping it upon the wooden surface of the desk.

Raito's face darkened. He reached beneath the table and grabbed his bag, shouldering it swiftly.

"I don't wish to talk about it." He muttered beneath his breath.

For once, Ryuzaki was the one who was taken by surprise.

"That's a side to you I haven't seen." He spoke to the boys back. Raito did not turn around, instead shifting his bag further onto his shoulder.

Ryuzaki exhaled deeply and then, after a moments hesitation, reached out and touched him lightly on the shoulder.

The action came across as strange to Raito. One minute he was being hugged with full force, and the next the man seemed almost scared to touch him.

"Look, I'm sorry. You don't have to talk about anything if you don't want to. I know I can be a bit full on at times." A smile formed at one corner of his mouth.

A bit?

His shoulders dropped, he hadn't noticed until now how tense and rigid they had been. The grip on his right shoulder tensed, then relaxed, tensed, then relaxed.

God, that felt good.

This intruding thought startled him.

Relaxing. It's just relaxing.

Did Ryuzaki even realize he was doing it?

"Sorry," He suddenly spoke up, dark eyes softening. "I'm over stepping again." He removed his hand and smiled. "maybe a full body next time."

That mischievous grin appeared, lighting up his whole face.

What an infectious personality. He almost found himself wanting to smile back. However, he kept his stoic appearance.

"Anyway, we have completely digressed here. You wanted to arrange something?"

Ryuzaki, who had resumed toying with his lighter for the third time in the space of twenty minutes, stopped and looked up. The struggle to recollect showed through his eyes.

"Huh?"

"You…uh…" Raito, now overcome by the reality of his situation, faltered. What was he doing? He, nervous, socially in adept Raito, just almost instigated a meeting between the two of them.

"Oh, I'm with you. Whole reason why I just spent the best part of an hour hunting you down. Seriously, for a genius, I really have a brain like a sieve." he shook his head, tousled hair falling over his dark rimmed eyes.

He did? He actually purposely sought me out?

"You look tired." he motioned towards his eyes, their shadows enunciated beneath his out of place fringe. "Could be why."

"This? Nah, just a little case of insomnia, coupled with some eye shadow." With that he leaned closer to the boy, almost covertly, and whispered. "The ladies love it."

Raito, who could not see how, reframed from arguing. Even if he did wish to argue he would never dream of voicing his point.

But still…

_Look how well I'm doing. I've held this conversation. I've barely faltered._

"Dinner." He abruptly supplied.

"Pardon?" The boy blinked, baffled. Talking to this guy was emotionally tiring.

"You. Me. Dinner. I wanna pick your brains." He scratched at his head of raven black hair just to demonstrate.

Raito hesitated. An answer struggling to form on his lips. His heart screamed yes but his mind appeared to be supplying constant negatives of all the things that could possibly go wrong. And before he knew it, he had uttered his reply.

"Why not?"

_Crap._

_Shit._

His palms sweated and that empty headed feeling had returned.

"Great!" He chirped, visibly pleased. The reason why was beyond the boy.

"catch you later,…" He swung up from the chair, forcing it back into the desk, and breathed into Raito's ear as he passed "…Beautiful."

Never once had Raito fainted in his life.

But he sincerely felt that he was just about to.

He had to get home earlier than usual today, as his part time job always required on a Wednesday . Reassuring his mother he would grab a sandwich at work, to which she retaliated was in no way sufficient enough, he hurried out of the front door, dressed in the obligatory black shirt, shoes and trousers that the restaurant staff required.

His work was easy. All it consisted of was taking orders and serving food to the correct tables. He could have done it sleep walking. It required minimum talking , and whenever a confrontation arose he would just direct said customer to the management. And that's how he preferred it. Initially, he had taken the idea of having to deal with such copious amounts of the public nerve wracking, rendering him unable to form proper sentences in front of the customers, but he only worked in a small family pub stroke restaurant, very Western, and usually found no problem with the calibre of punter.

Hanging his jacket up at the entrance to the kitchen, he rolled up his sleeves, bearing his tanned forearms, and grabbed receipt pad and pen, after tying a black apron around his waist. Making his way past the chefs and steaming pots of food, he nodded his hello's to the full timers, mainly middle aged men who tended to mind their own business, and emerged into the busy atmosphere of the family establishment.

Orders were taken, food delivered, tables wiped clean, and already two of his five hour shift had passed. As the sky darkened into the shade of night, he watched as larger groups began to filter through the large double doors. He bit back his nerves, deeming himself silly, and set about systematically taking orders. He ensured he always remember who had walked through the doors first, weighed it up with who had wasted the most time in finding a table and then quickly calculated who he should initially serve, and worked through his mental list. Not only was it efficient and fair, it also allowed his mind to be lifted from petty worries.

As he headed into the kitchen to hand over his sheet full of neatly written orders, crammed compactly onto one sheet, his manager motioned him over to the back of the room.

"Raito," His voice gruff from years of smoking. "We've just had a table come in. They're being a bit loud so ensure to serve them next so they can get out faster. Don't want them disturbing the other customers." He pawed at his sweating neck as he spoke.

It made Raito feel sick from just watching.

This was a typical example of his boss. He would rather risk losing possible custom from others in the future, but he refused to kick anybody out of his restaurant due to the immediate loss of payment.

Sighing heavily, he braced himself for a possibly awkward exchange with said trouble makers, and walked out into the throng of laughter and chatter.

Before table nine was even in view, he could hear the distinct sound of loud, obnoxious teenagers.

Oh fuck.

At most, he had been expecting a large group of middle aged patrons, out to celebrate a birthday after maybe one too many. This was a likely scenario for his particular place of work. But teenagers?

And then a rather distinct, musical laugh reached his ears.

He froze, but soon found that somehow his legs were still taking him to table nine.

Focussing his entire attention upon the pad in his hand, he cleared his throat and quietly asked if the five men were ready to take their orders.

A resounding bang of a sake cup slamming against the table top jolted Raito upright, forcing him to tear his gaze away from the items in his hands.

"Hey man, SPEAK UP, we can't hear you!"

The companions of this particular individual with a dark Mohawk erupted into inebriated laughter. Until the one with particularly dark eyes hidden beneath a darker fringe finally made eye contact.

His face dropped.

However, his friends appeared to carry on without notice.

Eventually, Ryuzaki received particularly large nudge in the ribs, his friend demanding to know why he'd stopped laughing.

A finger was unexpectedly waggled in front of Raito's aggrieved face.

"Hey, wait a second, I know you." He paused to wait and see if any of his companions would catch on.

However, Ryuzaki stayed silent, and nobody else seemed to pick up either. So he continued, apparantly wishing to enlighten them. "You're that new guy from school. Total loser. Really, you should have seen how fast you ran that day!"

A feeling of recognition rippled through the group and further bursts of laughter erupted, mocking and shrewd.

Ryuzaki, still, remained silent. His face stony, unmoving.

Raito frozen, unmoving.

"Ryuzaki, what's up with you, man!" The one who had been probing Raito, bleached hair, broad forehead, frowned across the table at him. A look which almost suggested he better join in.

It felt like forever before he answered.

The laughing had stopped.

It felt as though the entire building had ceased making noise.

As if everybody there was waiting to hear what the good looking young man was about to say. As if everyone else was desperate to know.

But in reality, it was only Raito who was fervently awaiting his answer. An answer that he hoped to god would save him from this torment.

And then a tiny smile, reluctant, but still there, approached his lips.

"Oh yeah…now I remember." He laughed quietly. "I didn't recognise him either."

Satiated, his friends returned to their former loud, taunting selves.

Raito didn't take their order.

He didn't even return to the kitchen to grab his coat.

He just left.

Walked out into the cold night air, laced with rain and ran home.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4-Moonlight

His shoes slapped hard against the slick pavement, the cold rain beating down on him, yet doing nothing to cool the burning embarrassment residing in his cheeks, the anguish in his chest. His shirt, sodden, clung to his body, but he didn't care. He just wanted to get home. Get away.

His eyes stung, blurred by the intrusive water, which he couldn't be sure was rain. The light cast from street lamps formed long, four pointed stars as he squinted, blinking frequently to clear his vision. It did no good.

Ten minutes from home. That's all it would take. Ten more minutes of running blindly. The night enveloping him. The chill following suit.

The road was coming up. He didn't notice it. The rain thundering in his ears, coupled with his pounding footsteps.

He threw out his hands in front of him, his palms slapping violently against the hood of a black car.

…

The shock momentarily stunned him.

His palms stung. But he didn't seem to notice.

The rain beating out a metallic thrum upon the hood. The front door swung open.

Move.

He couldn't move.

Just move.

He legs were frozen in place. The shock was too great. He almost died. He could have died, and he hadn't even seen it coming.

But all the same, the rain continued to pour, the world still turned.

"Yagami Raito?"

The voice barely reached him, having to battle its way past the sounds of nature and through the boys barricade of shock.

And then it struck him what this man had said.

"How...Yes? That's me?"

The water ran through his hair, dripping down onto his face and ran the contours of his cheeks. Now he had stopped moving he had only just realized how freezing he was. He teeth began to chatter violently.

"Please, get in."

The old man, dressed in a dark suit, motioned towards the car.

Maybe it was the shock. Maybe it was the cold. But whatever it was, it somehow persuaded Raito to comply with this old man's request. Something he would never have dreamed of doing ten minutes ago, back at work.

This man knew his name. Maybe alarm bells should have bee ringing. But they didn't. There was just something calming about this well dressed, well spoken old man.

And he drove a Roll's. Raito hadn't initially noticed, due to his startled disposition and the density of the darkness.

Logic spoke out.

He almost ran me over. He probably wants to make sure I return home safely.

He looked far too respectable for anything else…

Before anxiety had a chance to take over and render any thought process Raito was to have illogical, the old man behind the wheel spoke up, rolling down the tinted partition between the driver and passengers seat.

"I must apologize for what almost happened. I hope you can forgive me." Kind old eyes glanced at Raito via the rear-view mirror.

He did not reply.

"We just need to make one stop." With that, an electronic motor sounded, and the tinted glass began to slowly raise once again.

Raito's eyes flicked to the doors either side of him.

Locked.

He swallowed back the discomfort threatening to rise up in his throat.

Peering out of the window, he could not begin to make any distinction of where they were. The sky too dark, the only thing visible the bright spotlights of street lamps. The vehicle made a left turn.

And then stopped.

_Where are we…Why did I get in? Why the HELL did I…_

The door to the right of him clicked as somebody pulled on the handle.

The smell of fresh rain invaded his senses, the cool of the night intruding, mixing with the warmth of the in car heater.

Soaking hair flat against his face, cheeks red and stinging from the cold, Ryuzaki sat himself in the space directly next to Raito.

If he was confused before, he was even more baffled now. However, it had done wonders to qualm his sheer panic.

_Haven't been abducted…_

And then the previous anxieties bred into him, due to the restaurant incident, flourished once again.

"Thanks, Watari. You can drive now."

The hum of the motor thrummed to life and the car seat vibrated with the motion.

Ryuzaki stared ahead, his line of vision not once meeting Raito's.

The teenager continued to stare out of the window, not wishing to meet the others gaze, just in case he happened to look his way.

"I wouldn't forgive me either." Ryuzaki finally broke the ten minutes of silence. Ten minutes, a very long time when nothing is occurring. The black haired man having been struggling to dig up the right words.

Raito's fingers tightened around the base of his seat belt. He was not ready to answer him yet.

And then he could sense him turn his way. Almost feel the small smile tug at his lips.

"So you can be strong willed when you want then, huh?"

His fingers relaxed.

But this didn't mean to say he wasn't still furious.

Something light, almost feathery in touch, danced across the back of his hand, causing it to contract with the tickling sensation it brought.

Ryuzaki's fingers continued to stroke.

Raito continued not to move.

"So, you don't hate me that much then..?"

As if the words were a repellent, Raito drew his hand back at lightening speed, as if it had just been jabbed with a needle.

A heavy pause.

It was almost tangible.

"I'm sorry." A whisper.

Raito studied his own reflection in the tint of the window, watching the rivulets of rain cascade down the mirrored surface. He could see the other teenager sitting quietly in his chair, his knees drawn up to his chest. Such an odd mannerism. His expression a blank.

"Why'd you do it?"

His black hair still plastered to his face, his head shot up, clearly alleviated that Raito's vow of silence had been broken.

"Raito…" Before he had a chance to stop himself, he had already begun the sentence. He couldn't say that. It wasn't right.

_You know why, Raito._

"I just want to hear you say it." Finally, after an excruciating wait, Raito turned, his eyes sombre and fixed them upon the soaking wet male's form.

He knew what he had been about to say.

"Okay, Raito, wanna know the real answer?"

Raito's large eyes finally met Ryuzaki's in a full on gaze. Now that he was about the receive his answer, he didn't want to hear it. He didn't think he could bear to hear the harsh truth, especially after he had let his hopes, foolishly, be built up by this man.

He swallowed, his hands quivered ever so slightly, bracing himself for the words that were to come.

Ryuzaki's face, smooth and white with their features arranged into the most serious expression Raito had ever seen upon him.

"I'm a coward, Raito."

The boy had applied a buffer, almost to block out the confession he had been expecting to hear, so when this revelation had presented itself, he wasn't quite sure that he'd heard right.

He blinked.

Ryuzaki was still seated there, his dark brows furrowed, his wet hair plastered to his forehead. So serious.

The teenagers mouth moved but no words came out.

"Shocked?" The other offered, his chocolate eyes now softening.

He sighed, the air apparently escaping of it's own accord. He had been holding his breath and he hadn't even realized. "Finding it hard to believe, actually."

Ryuzaki smiled. "You're a genius, Raito. It ain't hard to figure out. I act all tough round my friends, yet I go out of my way to talk to you. I presume you've noticed my change in persona when I'm with you." He stressed the last part, insinuating that he knew full well that Raito had noticed.

"well…" he bowed his head, wet, auburn strings of hair falling over his eyes. The idea that Ryuzaki had been stringing him along for his own amusement had also crept in there.

"You look so pretty like that…"

His head shot round, one eye narrowed in questioning. "Sorry?"

"I didn't say anything." He waved it off, fixing his eyes back upon the tinted partition.

There was a silence for a couple of minutes. But, Raito noticed, it was comfortable. A refreshing experience, to say the least, for the boy.

"So," He began quietly. "May I ask you about…well, all this?" He spread his arms out, motioning to the insides of the car and apparent chauffeur.

Ryuzaki's toes curled around the edge of the leather seat. He had slipped his shoes and socks off for a reason that was beyond Raito. The wet denim of his jeans hung heavily over his bear feet. A grin spread across his lips, a hint of the Ryuzaki Raito had come to know at school.

"That's Watari up front. Family butler. And this is my families car. My one's at home, far more sporty." He winked, and then shrugged, as if he couldn't give any more of an explanation.

Raito's head reeled upon learning this. Clearly, this boy was incredibly wealthy. At least, his family was.

"If you're so well off, why don't you attend a private school?" Raito instantly regretted the question, realizing how intrusive it sounded. It was none of his business where Ryuzaki chose to go to school. How ever, the other male didn't seem to mind.

"Raito, do you really think I go to school to learn? I just go for the lifestyle. You know, friends, girls, parties etc. Private school? With a load of stuck up ass holes? I don't think so."

He should have guessed. So, Ryuzaki wasn't completely front them. He was actually like this in some regards.

Raito glanced at the face of his watch absently, barely noting the time. Suddenly, it clicked. They had been driving for at least twenty minutes. He was only ten minutes from his house by foot, when he had almost collided with the car.

"Ryuzakiwherearewegoing?" He could not stop his sentence escaping in one big breath.

"Anywhere you want, baby."

"How about home?" Sarcasm wasn't exactly his forte.

"Cool. Watari, could you drop us off at…" He looked towards Raito, waiting for an address.

I didn't mean!

Now he was going to have to tell him he had only meant himself. How could he say that without being rude? Why was everything a struggle for him?

Chocolate eyes stared at his face, waiting patiently.

"Let's just go somewhere else." He mumbled, more towards the floor than at anybody present in the car.

"Ok. Where?" He began to finger with the ends of his wet trousers, the material now freezing against his bare skin.

"I…don't mind." He muttered. He honestly did not know anywhere else he would rather go than home right now. But apparantly, it didn't appear to be an option.

"Ok, gorgeous, how about I pick?"

That, too, sounded dangerous.

"It depends…"

"On?"

"Where you choose."

"What are the conditions?"

"Nowhere…far away."

"Dashes my plans of China for tonight then."

Raito didn't reply.

He just smiled. A small, soft smile. Barely there.

Ryuzaki gasped dramatically. "He smiles! He has emotions!" And clasped a hand to the other boys face, turning him towards him. He moved his own closer, their lips inches apart. Raito's breath became caught in his throat, his eyes unable to blink.

"Suits you." And then he let go.

The blood roared in his ears, but he was thankful to notice that his cheeks appeared to have remained their usual olive pigment, without the addition of any rouge.

The dark haired boy returned to his barefooted crouch, his feet imprinting clouded copies of themselves upon the leather upholstery.

"Watari, could you take us to the usual?"

The click of a button sounded, followed by static and soon Watari's calming voice floated through into the passenger segment of the car.

"Certainly, Ryuzaki."

The usual? What did he mean by 'the usual'? Raito's eyes darted towards the window, but his unfamiliar surroundings gave no hint as to where they were headed.

"Right-o, relax. I can feel how tense you are, man."

He extended a finger and drew a faint trace from the boys ear, all the way down to his collar bone.

Shivers shot down his spine like electricity, his body breaking out in goose pimples.

"Relaxed now?" He giggled.

Yes, the man just giggled.

_No, actually._

"Yes, actually, I am fine. I would just like to know where we are going."

"If I told you I'd have to…"

"Kill me?" Raito raised a mocking eyebrow.

"…kiss you."

His face reverted back to one representing of his nervous disposition.

A small silence ensued before Ryuzaki cracked out into boisterous laughter.

"Raito, seriously, I'm joking!"

"Ha ha ha…" Mechanical intonations were all he could muster.

The night sky had grown more dense, no stars visible through the thicket of rain clouds. The pour from the heavens had begun to let up, leaving mediocre dribbles to run the length of the car windows.

The wheels produced a crunching sound as they rolled across what was obviously a stony surface.

Ryuazaki made to exit, his hand stopping just before it reached the door handle, eyebrows knitted. Yanking his thick hoodie over his head, after removing his leather jacket, he handed it to Raito. Who just stared at it, the blue folds clutched in his hand.

"You'll freeze in wet clothes. Take your shirt off and put that on."

Again, he did not answer.

"Oh, for crying out loud, I won't look!" Ryuzaki threw up his hands in surrender.

Deciding that the man was in fact correct, he hesitantly began to unbutton his shirt, sliding the wet material down his lean arms. Raito wasn't particularly one to work out, but his attitude wasn't exactly lazy either, resulting in a body than was probably considered above average. At least, he had no extra pounds.

A loud whistle emitted from behind and his cheeks burned furiously.

"You said..!"

"I'm not." Came the rapid reply.

Raito turned in his seat to find the boy facing in the opposite direction.

"You just thought that was aimed at you. Pretty presumptuous, don't you think?"

Now, he turned, his lopsided smile in place. His dark eyes travelled up and down the half naked figure before him.

He emitted a long, low whistle. "Sexy…"

Raito couldn't win. He pulled the garment over his head, straightening his hair out afterwards. He must have looked a mess. His hair was still wet, curtaining his eyes.

Ryuzaki's hand once again hovered by the handle, his face speculative.

"That look works for you. Messed hair, casual clothes…"

"I don't think so," Raito interjected, forcing the other to get out of the car by leaving first.

The other door slammed, the motor hummed and the Roll's pulled away, the crunching of the wheel's dying out the further away it drew.

Raito surveyed his surroundings. Dark, empty, stranded.

"Where's Watari gone?"

"Don't worry, he'll be back. Got my cell."

He waved it in front of the boys face, just so he knew. "Follow me."

Ryuzaki walked ahead, not bothering to look behind to see if the other boy was following.

No that Raito's eyes had adjusted, he could see that they were approaching a traditional garden.

Why on earth would Ryuzaki want to come here? And by the sounds of it, often come here?

His sneakers crunched across the gravel, the sound only ceasing when he realised he was walking by himself. "Come on, Raito."

Throwing his hands up in resignation, he approached the other teen and they walked together through onto the grassy area.

The lack of light made it hard to appreciate the beauty of the place, But Raito could certainly make out the vibrant blossoms of the Sakura's, highlighted only slightly by the peek of moon breaking through the clouds.

"Careful!" Ryuzaki unexpectedly called. Raito's footing wavered on the edge of a pond, one he hadn't even noticed due to his attention fixated upon the trees. Strong hands grabbed his shoulders and steadied him. His heart skipped a beat.

But only once the danger was gone.

When those hands were holding him up.

"Okay?" He asked, a hint of concern.

He nodded, ever so slightly.

Stone lanterns guarded the sides of their path, remaining unlit, guiding them towards the small bridge, situated over the tiny, man made 'river' flowing through the garden. One that ended out into the pond from earlier. Most probably a representation of the sea, he now realized.

All the while walking through this garden, Raito couldn't help but wonder why Ryuzaki had referred to this place as 'the usual'. He couldn't imagine him coming here often, just whittling away the time and appreciating the beauty.

Their footsteps deepened an octave as they stepped foot onto the wooden panelling of the bridge. It appeared to be where they were stopping.

Ryuzaki leaned over the edge, his elbows propped up on the side.

"Like it?" He asked, as if it were a gift to Raito he had only just unveiled.

"Beautiful." He replied honestly. "I take it you come here often." He had to ask. Curiosity had gotten the better of him.

"Yeah…" Ryuzaki turned around and leaned against the wall of the bridge, swinging one leg over the other out in front of him. "Helps pull in the girls." He laughed.

He wasn't sure what it was, but something inside him prickled with this comment. Like a faint annoyance that had only just flared. The nonchalance and ease that he spoke of his activities were not acceptable to Raito.

"And here I was thinking you had depth," he muttered darkly, surprising himself as well as Ryuzaki.

His chocolate eyes wide, he looked straight at the boy, who refused to look back. Raito kept his gaze upon the rippling water, reflecting a dull outline of himself up at him.

"Don't you realize by now when I'm joking?"

"I'm sorry, but it's pretty hard to tell with you…"

He had no idea where it was coming from, but somehow, he was managing to speak his mind. It was so…uplifting. Yet the subject matter doused any feelings of good will.

Ryuzaki ran his hand through his black hair, his fingers massaging at his scalp.

"Look, Raito…I'm not just some…whore." He had to force out the last word. He hated it. And he hated the idea of anybody associating him with it more.

Raito snorted. "You said it, not me."

"LOOK." His voice raised without him meaning to. It appeared even louder in the dead still of night. The only ones to absorb its sound the two there.

Raito looked startled, his muscles tensing.

"…Look…" Ryuzaki started again, quieter, sorry for ever shocking the other male like that. "I am not a whore, ok? And I want you more than anybody else to know that."

Raito took a deep breath, trying to prepare himself to begin talking again.

"Why me?"

"I respect you. I like you for you. We're on the same level. My friends back at school, they're just there for fun, kill some time. And, well, I hate to admit it, but I feel accepted by being with them…"

Raito watched the boy closely, the moon glinting in his eyes, ringed by their dark smudges.

"But you…I like you for who you are…ok?"

Raito was not aware that he was supposed to reply.

Hollow footsteps sounded as the boy moved closer. He touched the arm wrapped inside his own hoodie, which tensed momentarily, but soon relaxed. "Ok?" he repeated.

The boy nodded.

_Ok._

Lowering himself down, Ryuzaki crossed his legs and planted himself firmly on the wooden flooring. "Sit," He said, patting the floor beside him.

He did so, making sure to space himself a suitable distance away.

"Oi, come here," The other boy said, grabbing at his arm and yanking him closer.

Raito almost toppled over with the force.

"That's better," He said, resting his damp hair upon the others shoulder. "Your so tight, loosen up." Upon realizing this, Raito relaxed his shoulders. As much as was possible for him.

"That'll do, I suppose." He conceded.

They sat like that for two minutes, before Raito quietly worded what had been plaguing his mind.

"So, why do you come here then?"

"Hmm?" Ryuzaki's voice came out in a sigh, deeply influence by his close-to-sleep state. "Oh. It's relaxing."

"Huh." Raito agreed.

"Plus, it was my fathers before he died."

_Oh. Oh god._

Raito didn't know what to say,

He had never had to say anything to anybody about such a sensitive subject matter before.

How could he provide words of comfort when he didn't even know how to help himself?

Instead, he did the only thing he could do. He reached out with his free hand and ran it over Ryuzaki's hair, providing the most primitive, yet effective comfort there was.

"Thank you."

Ryuzaki's hand, cold and pale, reached up and laced his fingers in with Raito's, bringing it down to his lap.

"Once I've finished cuddling you, I'll ring Watari."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5-Confession.

Dinner.

Raito was going to dinner tonight. With a friend. From school.

How…normal. He was really doing normal, social activities, with an actual friend he had actually met through school.

He still couldn't quite believe it.

He was still waiting for Ryuzaki to turn around, laugh in his face and proclaim for everybody to hear that this was all in fact a joke.

But, he hadn't…yet.

Although it felt as if he had come close yesterday. But…that was over now. It had been sorted. Ryuzaki had apologized.

Quite beautifully actually.

Only when Raito had gotten home did he realize the extent to which Ryuzaki had gone to apologize to him. First, he would have had to have abandoned his friends, head out into the rain, order Watari to come straight out and look for Raito and then, if that wasn't enough, take him to a place which was evidently sacred to him and confide in him his true feelings.

He was touched, to say the least.

Throughout every lesson, despite how hard he attempted to concentrate, nervous flutterings were turning his stomach over, forcing him to constantly check his watch.

Was this normal? He wasn't sure if these were the normal motions in preparation for a night out with a friend. He hadn't exactly had much experience.

Third period had crawled by, the algebraic equations which would usually only have taken him five minutes required an extra ten to complete due to his swaying concentration. The freshness of the day just beyond the windows was calling to his attention, the world appearing new and clean after the downpour of last night.

And finally, the bell indicating that class was over resounded throughout the room.

As he began to pack away his books, he wondered what on earth he should wear? Not that he was fretting about the impression he would have on Ryuzaki, but he had no idea what type of restaurant he was being taken to.

Shouldering his bag, he exited the class, mentally reminding himself that he needed to head to the reception to hand in his medical record. For some reason they had failed in receiving it from his last school, so, typically, the job was now up to him.

A shirt and tie? That may turn out to be far too formal. But then again, as he had learnt last night, Ryuzaki was clearly wealthy, so they could end up somewhere five star.

He turned the corridor and approached the stairs which descended onto the ground floor.

A five star restaurant though…surely that would be a bit odd. Two teenage males, having dinner together in an expensive establishment like that. No, he decided the best option would be to go casual. He found it hard to picture Ryuzaki dressing up…let alone choosing somewhere that required a specific dress code.

Reaching the bottom of the staircase, Raito had to stop just for a moment to recall which turn he needed to take to reach the reception. He had not actually visited that part of the school yet, but he faintly recalled seeing it on a crude map a teacher had drawn for him. One who had not had the time to give him a proper tour when he had enquired as to where the library was.

Incompetence…

Sensing that it was the right corridor he needed to head down next, he set on his way, passing numerous, empty science classes, their large desks and apparatus left abandoned whilst the students were absent for lunch.

The hallways echoed with the clack of his polished, leather shoes, the staccato bouncing off of the hard, unadorned walls.

He listened absently to the repetitive beat, until he found it unexpectedly halting. He had subconsciously noticed that one of the heavy, blue doors had been left open by an inch or two and had stopped just before the opening. It was then he realized that it was not the, rather insignificant, crack in the doorway which had stopped him, but rather the hushed voice coming from inside.

A brief glance inside confirmed that there was somebody there. Black hair, red basketball jersey, dark jeans.

Ryuzaki. He was half obscured by the door frame, but he still knew it was him.

Raito had actually been hoping to stumble across him today before he headed home, just so that he could get an idea of what to expect tonight.

His hand hovered just before the glass pane of the door, preparing to push it open. A second voice stopped him.

From his position he could only see Ryuzaki, who was faced diagonally away from him. But there was definitely a second person in there.

And from the sounds of it, a girl.

He didn't want to make himself known, and he wasn't even sure why. He could easily just walk in there, claiming that he was passing by when he spotted Ryuzaki. Which was exactly what had happened. But for some reason, something was holding him back, a feeling of apprehension.

He stood just to the side of the opening, making sure that he wasn't in plain sight.

The dark haired teen stood at the far end of the room, to the side of one of the large desks, his back pack slung lazily across it. Next to it sat a small, pink shoulder bag.

"…kidding? I couldn't stop staring at you…" His deep voice just reached Raito's ears. For some reason, his heart contracted in his chest.

His exposed arms reached out slowly in front of him, his shoulders shifting as he, what Raito could only presume, slid his arms around whoever was standing before him.

Raito's breath lodged tangibly in his throat.

And then, finally, gradually, as if in slow motion, Ryuuzaki shifted position, turning more towards the door, the girl previously hidden now painfully visible, as his smooth white hands slid around her waist. His lips moved, but Raito could not discern what was said as he was speaking so low, so quiet. And then, he did it.

His chocolate eyes shut off to the world as his dark lids closed, his head leaning forwards as he brought his face to this unknown girl. Their lips met and moved ever so slowly, his tongue gliding over hers. He leaned his head in further, his pallid hands slipping from her waist, down, down, fingers toying with the hem of her school blouse, sliding under, and then up, further up. Everything slow, thought out, wanting, needing.

Before he had a chance to see anymore, when he finally realised how he had been staring, open mouthed, he turned, silently, and swiftly exited through the double doors at the end of the hallway, head held high, heart sunk low.

He was in his room now, staring absently at his computer with the intention of scanning through next weeks essay.

8:36 pm. He hadn't meant to regard the clock icon in the bottom left corner of his screen, however, now he was rather aware of how long he had been sitting there like that. An hour.

He wasn't even sure what time Ryuzaki had intended to meet.

Come to think of it, he didn't even mention where they were meant to meet.

However, Raito was quite aware of this particular individual's ability of keeping track of things. He had now resigned himself to the fact that he had been forgotten.

Obviously, more enticing offers had arisen today.

His stomach lurched, but he put the unpleasant sensation to the back of his mind. His first assumption was that he had grown hungry after skipping the dinner his mother had made for the family, as he was under the impression he was dining out.

His eyes ached from staring at the intense backlighting of his monitor, so he directed his vision to the soothing night sky just beyond his window.

The stars were out tonight.

He barely registered this thought, his subconscious made it for him.

Somehow, it increased his sense of loneliness.

A small commotion arose from downstairs, Sayu's high pitched voice ringing out through the living room in ,what sounded like, excitement.

His natural guess was that Ryuuga Hideki had just made an appearance on the television.

Dull footsteps sounded from the stair case, too heavy to be his mother's, probably his father.

A short rap at the door brought him back to reality, pulling him out of his pointless, meandering thoughts.

"Come in," his voice, unable to muster any form of enthusiasm.

His screen had presented before him the default screen saver, serving as another reminder of how long he had been sitting there, doing absolutely nothing. His shifted the mouse to eradicate the monitor of the device before he turned to face his father.

A cool hand landed on top of his auburn hair, another coming rather heavily to his shoulder.

"Hey, sexy. Miss me?"

He swivelled his chair round to come directly in line with those deep, brown eyes, mere inches away from his own.

"No need to look so shocked! Told you I was comin', didn't I?" he let go of the boy seated in front of him and stood straight, unfurling to his full height.

Now he was here, standing in front of him the same as he had been yesterday, and the day before, no different after what Raito had witnessed earlier that day, he did not know what to say, or think.

And suddenly, completely unexpectedly, his legs felt weak. And he was lost for words.

"Uh...yeah. I mean, no you didn't actually. You never said where we were meeting." He had to stop the quiver in his voice. The relief that Ryuzaki had turned up coupled with the anxiety from his previous thoughts was making it difficult to converse.

Black rimmed eyes studied him, one narrowed in concern. "you ok?" He paused to flop on the end of Raito's neatly made bed. The boy didn't bother to reprimand him. "I didn't think to give you a time. You gave me your address without organizing anything, so…." He drew out the last word, implying that he was now finished.

Raito waved a hand dismissively. "Honestly, it's fine."

Regardless, he didn't make to stand up.

He couldn't.

As if suddenly realizing where he was, Ryuzaki glanced around his surroundings, soaking up the neat, geometric angles of Raito's personal domain. Everything orderly, in it's place and, admittedly…boring.

He raised his eyebrows in apparent interest and made a small comment about Raito's room being neater than his, despite the fact he had private cleaners.

Eventually, after the silence had stretched out for too long, Ryuzaki leaned back, rolled off the side of the bed and landed in a crouched position on the carpeted floor with a dull thud.

"Anyway, man, get changed, we gotta go."

Peering down, Raito only just realized he was still in his school uniform.

But, no matter how hard he tried, he still couldn't muster the energy.

Ryuzaki fixed him with an unfaltering stare. "Honestly, Raito. Everything ok?"

"Uhuh." He nodded, what he believed to be, convincingly.

"Ok, fine…" Standing up, he walked over to what he presumed to be the closet. Swinging it open without bothering to ask permission, he began to rifle through the various hangers, clacking them loudly against one and other.

"Not giving me much to work with here, Raito," He called over his shoulder as he pulled out different variations of the same outfit.

Laying them on the bed before him, he began systematically ticking off colours on his fingers.

"Brown, tan, beige, chocolate, mocha…latte? Would you say that was 'latte'? Anyway, Blue, navy, marine, white, white, white, white, white, OH, black. Pardon me, the shock threw me off slightly." Discarding the items he found unsuitable, namely, ninety percent of them, he threw them unceremoniously upon the floor.

"Right, Right-o, we may be in business here."

Raito, unwillingly curious, had to peer up to find out just what it was he owned that Ryuzaki apparantly found acceptable.

Hung over his index fingers were two hangers, adorned with his usual, everyday attire. One, a white shirt, the other, a black vest.

"Right, get naked. And when you get bored of being naked, put these on."

"Ryu…"

"Hey, no questions, just do it."

Once again, he perched himself on the edge of the bed. First on his stomach, then his back and then finally deciding he was most comfortable with his knees drawn up to his chest.

"Waitin', Raito."

Sighing heavily, he pushed himself up from his desk chair and retrieved the two garments from the bed, with a great lack of vigour.

He turned to face the other way rather self-consciously and removed his school tie and shirt.

"Ryuzaki, do you really have to watch?"

The boy stared at him with a critical eye. "Just studying you with my critical eye, Right-o."

"Fine, whatever."

"Hey, attitude, man."

He tugged the vest over his head, and then proceeded with slipping on the shirt, buttoning it almost the whole way.

Ensuring his hair was once again straight, he turned, exhaling heavily as if to question what the big deal was.

"Ok, here's where I come in." Standing, he drew closer to the boy and positioned his palms flat against his chest.

Raito sincerely hoped that he could not feel the thrum of his sped up heart beat.

"Ok, lesson one. It's not what you wear, it's how you wear it." As he spoke, his fingers began to nimbly undo his shirt, Raito's palms prickling with sweat as he worked.

Pulling it apart so that it hung loose, he stood back to survey, finger poised on chin, head cocked to one side. He blinked twice.

"Better. Okay. Trousers. Any jeans? All I could detect were brown, brown and brown cords."

Raito rubbed the bridge of his nose, squinting as he did so. He really did not feel like doing this. However, he knew how persistent this man was.

"Uh, yeah, second drawer down."

After a few moments, he returned with a pair of slim black jeans.

"Off with those, on with these." He nodded towards his grey school trousers and handed him the pair in his hands.

"Can you not…"

"Critical eye," He quickly reminded.

Resigning to the fact, he turned once again and quickly slipped out of his trousers and into the new ones, making sure not to waste a second in his execution. He did not want to be standing here half naked any longer than was needed.

"Oh, GOD, Raito!"

Before he had a chance to react, a hand yanked his vest out from where it had been neatly tucked into the waste band of his jeans. And then, as if a second thought, he pulled at the material around his legs, dragging them further down his waist, until they rested low on his hips.

As he stepped back to apply his 'critical eye' one last time, Raito finally had a chance to voice himself.

"Why is looking good so important to you anyway?"

"Hey, Raito, you're talking to the guy who has a mini panic attack when he discovers he's out of hairspray…and this coming from the guy who owns a pair of, respective, might I add, brand named straighteners."

His cheeks blazed. "How did you know that?"

"Second drawer down,"

He nodded, having momentarily forgotten in his sheer embarrassment.

Ryuzaki raised an index finger briefly in front of his face. "One more thing."

Hooking his arms round the back of his neck, he momentarily busied himself with something, until finally coming away with his silver chain dangling between his thumb and forefinger.

Standing directly in front of Raito, he wrapped his arms around his neck and swiftly hooked it together.

He dark eyes swept over Raito's form.

"Hot. Very hot." He nodded.

"Its nine pm, it must be free…"

"You, you idiot, not the temperature."

He allowed his gaze to linger for a second too long, before he turned and hurriedly mentioned that they had to go.

Raito stood there, over by his window, allowing Ryuzaki to approach the door by himself.

"..What is it?"

_I'm not too sure myself._

He sighed, running a hand through his raven black hair.

"Right, you asked for it."

Raito, eyes wide, attempted to step backwards, his heel connecting with the skirting board as Ryuzaki grabbed at his wrist. "Now, do you really want me to throw you over my shoulder?" His intense gaze burned into Raito's mind.

"I guess not."

As Raito closed the door to his room with an affirming click, Ryuzaki felt he had to point out that saying 'I guess not' is as good as saying 'yes, I do, but I don't want to admit it'.

The warm yellows of the living room welcomed the two boys as they entered to bid Raito's family farewell.

"Don't want to admit what, Raito?" Sayu, sitting in the single armchair facing the archway to the living room, chirped up, eyes wide with curiosity. And then she settled her gaze upon the fresh faced, black haired teenager standing next to her brother. Instantly, her eyes dropped, cheeks reddening. "Hi," she offered meekly.

Ryuzaki presented her with a toothy grin which reduced the young girl to a small fit of giggles.

Announcing to his mother that they must be on their way, Sachiko hurriedly wished them a good time. The delight clearly showed on her face as her son left, spending time away from school work with a friend.

"That's…your car?"

Raito did not think he had ever laid eyes on anything so expensive in all his life.

"Yeah. Like it?" He posed the question , already knowing what the answer would be.

Scared to touch it, Raito approached the door, only to have Ryuzaki do the honours for him.

"I suppose you won't find anybody else at school with a.."

"Dodge Viper. New model," He supplied nonchalantly. This really was nothing to him.

The red shine of the body was cast a luminescent orange by the light of the street lamps.

As he sat, the leather of the seat caressed Raito's body like nothing he had ever felt before. He could, quite happily, sit there all night.

Ryuzaki clasped his hands over the steering wheel, a heavy, silver ring adorning his index finger Raito had never noticed before, clunked loudly upon contact.

"If we don't eat in a matter of minutes, I won't be able to drive from starvation."

The boy agreed, the full extent of his situation hitting him with sudden force.

_His fingers running over her body._

_Lips on hers._

He blinked. Hard. Where had that come from? His stomach churned, bringing forth unpleasant sensations in his throat.

"Okay, I hope you like eating crap." Ryuzaki said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, as he turned the key in the ignition, the engine rumbling with bass notes Raito didn't realize were achievable.

"Excuse me?"

"Junk food. I don't get away with it much at home. Watari loves me too much to see me spoil my perfect body."

And with that, they sped off, Raito feeling that his stomach had been left back where they had been parked just seconds before.

His hands roamed over her stomach, sliding up to her chest, and round to the back where they finally rested just before the clasp of her bra.

He could feel the thump of her heart, her chest rising and falling rapidly. He was doing this to her. Making her lose her breath. What did it make him feel?

Empowered?

Maybe.

It had a few years ago. When he had just discovered the delights the world had to offer, which had been off limits before.

What about now?

He felt her hands stroke his thigh, skirting around his groin.

Ok, he was hard. But it was just a reaction.

Instinct.

She pulled away from his lips, planting kissed down the side of his neck, out to the curve of his shoulder, her hand, massaging, stroking all the while.

His fingers stroked down her spine, emerging from beneath her blouse and on top of the hand she was using on him.

He wrapped his finger around it tightly.

And pulled it away.

Her face instantly formed into a frown.

"Sorry, I've had enough."

"But, I thought you said you wanted me?"

He grabbed his bag from the desk and threw it over his shoulder.

"People often say things they don't mean."

Hooking his legs over the topmost bar of the climbing frames, he hung off upside down, his t shirt falling over his face, bearing his flat stomach.

Raito was seated upon the empty bench, facing out onto the empty park, surrounded by dark foliage.

"How can you do that after you've just eaten?" He hadn't actually intended for Ryuzaki to hear this, but he did.

"Just like this." He swung himself gently back and forth, the world appearing to rock in its unsteady, upside-down state.

Apparantly growing bored after a full minute of being suspended, he grabbed hold of the bar beneath him and unhooked his legs, his body swinging down, forearms tensed under the pressure.

The dead leaves crunched under foot as he approached Raito from the dense shadow.

"Are you sitting here?" He asked, motioning towards the vast expanse of seat Raito couldn't possibly be occupying.

He shook his head without bothering to make eye contact.

Shoving aside the empty burger cartons they had disposed of, he planted himself in arms reach of the boy.

Raito was certainly glad he hadn't decided to dress up. Drive -Thru didn't often call for that.

"What's up?" Ryuzaki suddenly asked, his enunciation rising at the end, hinting that he was curious.

"Huh?" Raito studied his nails, checking for dirt that he wouldn't be able to see in this lighting anyway.

"You won't look at me."

"Probably the only person in the world capable of such a thing."

"What did you say?" Ryuuzaki ceased kicking the debris of leaves, leaving the two shrouded in distilled quiet

"I said it's getting late." He scratched at his neck and stifled a yawn. Now that he mentioned it, he was becoming rather fatigued.

"No you didn't." He spoke quickly, sure of himself.

His amber eyes turned to look at the boy, his face innocent and staring.

"Sorry, Ryuzaki, really. I didn't." Raito regretted having said anything. It was now irrevocable.

"Oh ho, Right-o, you did." He stood up and pointed, almost accusingly, at him. "So tell me."

"It was nothing. Silly."

"If it was silly, it must be something."

They held each others gazes, apparantly locked. Ryuzaki, determined, Raito wishing he could give anything to just back down right now. He'd had an awful evening.

Well, sort of.

Whatever Ryuzaki did, whatever he said, reminded him of the scenes from earlier. Strong, vivid images flashed in his mind whenever his hand accidentally brushed his.

And what made it worse was he didn't know how to stop it. Because he had no idea what had started it.

He sighed in resignation.

"Ok, fine, right. All I said was not everybody needs to look at you…basically." His voice became lower and lower as he spoke. His sentence was now directed towards the dead foliage beneath his feet.

Ryuzaki paused, a tense feeling rising between the two.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Honestly."

"Fed up of hearing that, Raito. What did it mean?" When Ryuzaki grew serious, he could come across as quite threatening.

Raito's breathing quickened, his anxiety suddenly flaring.

When, eventually, he decided all he could do was say the truth. What else could he say? Ryuzaki was clearly growing angry. Lying got him nowhere, and he just wanted to go home.

"Today. I saw you."

Ryuzaki tapped the toe of his shoe against the leg of the bench patiently.

"With a girl. Science rooms." The extent of his explanation had been reduced to broken words.

Ryuzaki ceased kicking, the soft juddering it sent through the bench also halting.

"Oh."

That distinct air of unease was suddenly washed away.

Only to be replaced by something else.

"Raito, I…"

"I just don't like to see women treated like that." He blurted out, unsure of where it had come from.

Ryuzaki raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Oh. Really? Oh, I'm sorry. I suppose…little sister n all."

"Yeah," Raito agreed verbally, inside berating himself for lying.

"I pushed her off of me."

"Sorry?"

The leaves rustled gently as a small, chilled breeze ruffled the boys hair.

Ryuzaki shrugged. "I suppose…I just felt I had to tell you."

Inside, Raito's chest welled with confusion. Frustration, disappointment all still there, but an odd, misplaced pocket of hope had manifested.

"So…that's the only reason you were upset?" His eyes pierced into Raito. Probing.

The boy shrugged.

He didn't know.

They were once again enveloped in silence, the moon bright and robust, now in full view, completely un-obscured by clouds.

Ryuzaki tilted his head back to appreciate the view and slipped a pack of cigarettes out of his jeans pocket. Lighting it with one swift click, he inhaled greatly and expelled the grey cloud through his nose, his teeth clenched.

"Raito?" He asked, his voice uncharacteristically subdued.

"Yeah?" His voice characteristically subdued.

He leaned forward and scratched his chin with the hand holding his cigarette. The cherry burned bright in the darkness, putting Raito unexpectedly in mind of miniature volcanoes.

He paused, took another breath, exhaled and then spoke.

"Do you think it's wrong toooo…." He drew out the last word, his voice croaking the more extended it became. "Do you think it's wrong to. Okay, let's say this. You're in bed."

He displayed his hands before him, presenting them in a sort of square formation, having to alternate his hands in representing which side of the square he was denoting.

"Yes, bed." Raito nodded. He didn't need the demonstration.

"A guy pops into your head. Right. Your in bed. And you think of a guy. It's night time. In bed. Guy pops into your head. You're. In. Bed. And. Thinking. About. A. Nother. Man," Each time he repeated himself, he became slower and slower.

Raito's hand froze on its way down to the seat of the bench.

"You mean…"

"Yes, Raito, for once I do actually mean what you're thinking."

His mouth formed a silent 'o' in understanding. But he didn't understand. He didn't want to.

"I thought about you the other night."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6-Revelation.

Ryuzaki.

He couldn't mean…

No.

Raito's heart tightened.

In fear? Shock?

His hands trembled in his lap.

Definitely fear.

His hands had trembled like this before…

He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Opened and closed. Opened and closed. Imitating a goldfish.

A mortified goldfish.

He had been staring at Ryuzaki for so long, the edges of his vision had blurred, the boy the focus of his vision now encircled in an unfocussed frame of black.

For a moment he thought that the whole world had switched off, it's sound no longer reaching him, but he soon realized it was due to the overpowering volume of his heartbeat.

Ryuzaki's hand reached out...

Raito flinched silently.

…And reached for the packet of cigarettes, withdrawing a second.

"..Yeah, I was just thinking about our first encounter."

_…He was…?_

"I should have said something to Nobu."

…_What?_

"I'm sorry."

…_Sorry for?_

Raito, at this point, was incredibly confused. He searched his brain, trying to find hidden meaning in what this man was saying…and then he realized.

Ryuzaki had gone off on a completely different tangent.

When he said he had been thinking of Raito, he had already changed the subject, without giving the boy any indication as to his doing so.

The relief which ran through his entire body at that very moment was almost enough to make him faint. The scent of the tobacco suddenly causing him to feel queasy.

A hand landed heavily on his shoulder, no longer inciting feelings of terror as it almost had just moments ago.

"Do you accept my apology?"

Ryuzaki's big dark eyes stared at the boy in a doleful manner, brows knit together in concern.

"Raito?"

Raito, now overcome with relief, could not bring himself to answer. His shoulders shaking, head leaned forward, auburn hair shadowing auburn eyes.

"Raito!" Ryuzaki cried out in alarm.

The boy shook, his body vibrating with what appeared to be sobs.

"Raito! Are you….laughing?"

The boy threw his head back, his chest heaving with gasps of laughter, eyes screwed shut and dotted at the corners with tears.

Ryuzaki's face was one of utter shock.

Never, once, had he seen the boy consumed in such emotion.

"Raito?" Ryuzaki tried once more, not bothering to hide the surprise in his voice.

His bursts of laughter slowed, breathing gradually returning to normal as he wiped at the corners of his eyes.

"I'm…I'm sorry, Ryuzaki," He choked out. The whole situation suddenly appearing ridiculous. How could he have thought something so stupid? Ryuzaki, the guy who could get any girl he wanted, insinuating that…that… Raito was now so incredulous to the notion he could no longer fathom it.

The boys face drew a blank. His eyes wide and staring, mouth fixed into a straight line, one eyebrow lowered.

"Spit it out, Yagami…"

Raito took a deep breath, the crisp night air filling his lungs.

"I just misinterpreted you…had quite hilarious results."

"I can see that…" Ryuzaki cocked an eyebrow, turning the other way momentarily to light his cigarette. He blew the grey wisps of smoke up into the sky, the breeze carrying them away a few metres before they fragmented and dissipated.

"What was it….OHWAITHANGONASECOND…"

The man suddenly spat, the cigarette formerly in his mouth now burning upon the ground, as he cried out loud in laughter.

"I wondered why you looked so worried! Yagami, you dirty bastard, you thought I wanked over you!" He sighed, signifying that he had finished expressing his hilarity.

A broad smile still resided upon Raito's lips.

"God, man, you look so much better when you smile."

Ryuzaki rubbed at his left eye, attempting to persuade away the throes of sleep.

Conversely enough, this very comment instantly caused the boy to stop.

"Aw, c'mon." Ryuzaki pouted, grabbing at the boys cheeks and pulling them, forcing him into a grimace. "How can I make you smile again?" He whispered.

"How about telling me who exactly got you excited the other night?" Raito's voice altered due to his pinched cheeks.

"Oh ho, that!" Ryuzaki bent down to retrieve his half burnt cigarette. Without a second thought he reacquainted the filter with his lips.

"It's nothing really. I was watching a documentary on Gackt and thought 'Man, I so would if I was a girl.' and then I thought 'actually, if you squint, he practically is a girl." and then when I got…busy with myself later, the image wouldn't leave my head."

Raito stared at Ryuzaki, expression deadpan. His lips lifted at the corner and silent laughter emitted.

"you're so open, Ryuzaki."

"That's me, baby." He said through an exhalation of smoke, his eyes almost shut. "Made you smile, though."

There was a moments pause, something clearly playing on Raito's mind.

"With your track record, I'm amazed you have time for that sort of thing."

Ryuzaki stopped mid toke and turned to face Raito, feelings of good will about to drift away…

Until he saw the smile imprinted on his features.

"Yagami…a joke?" His mouth hung open in mock surprise.

Raito shrugged. "I suppose the mood just took me.

Stubbing out his cigarette upon the bench and dropping it through the slats in the wood, he stood, rearranged the waist band of his jeans so that they were sat more comfortably upon his hipbones, and held out his hand for Raito.

The boy stood unaided.

"C'mon, Right-o. I wanna get drunk."

Raito's eyes widened incredulously as he checked his watch.

"It's 11:30. And it's a school night."

Ryuzaki pursed his lips, forcing himself not to spout off a particularly scathing comment.

"Just…come back to mine, ok?" He sighed.

"But…"

Before he could finish that sentence, strong hands had grabbed at his waist, pulled him up and slung him over the other boys shoulder.

"I said just come back to mine"

What the hell was the point in arguing with this boy?

Raito knew that Ryuzaki had a butler. He knew that his family owned a private garden and a Roll's Royce. He had witnessed the boys car with his own eyes.

Yet, somehow, his house had not ceased to amaze him.

Gravel crunched loudly beneath the tyres of the Dodge Viper as the electronic gate opened, granting them access to the grounds.

A huge structure gradually presented itself before them, highlighted by the yellow glare of the security lights.

Raito's eyes widened in shock as he unconsciously mouthed the word 'mansion'.

"I'd say it was more of a manor." Ryuzaki quipped, not taking his eyes off of the gravel path.

Raito shot him a look of surprise.

"I prosume most people say that."

"Yep."

Instead of entering through the front door, they went into a lift via the underground car park where Ryuzaki had currently left his car.

Despite his best efforts, Raito could not quite control his need to hungrily digest his surroundings, mouth hanging open at every given opportunity.

The lift suddenly halted, turning Raito's stomach over in the process, and the heavy metal doors parted, presenting before them a modestly sized room, walls painted velvet red.

"Cloak room" Ryuzaki offered, sensing his curious stance. "Leave your jacket and shoes here."

"Cloak room!" He spat, unintentionally. "it's larger than my living room."

Ryuzaki shrugged lazily, obviously unprepared with a suitable reply.

"Hurry up, Yagami, the alcohol's getting cold."

After travelling down a tastefully decorated hall, they emerged into what could only be the kitchen.

A huge, black, rustic stove was situated at the far end, residing next to it a ceiling height refrigerator. The walls were painted an off white, the same as the distressed wooden furniture. A particularly heavy looking stone mortar and pestle sat neatly on the end of one of the granite work tops. Raito could not decide whether it was just there for decoration purposes.

"Edwardian?" He found himself asking against his own will.

"Eh?" Ryuzaki called over his shoulder from where he had previously been buried in the refrigerator.

"The style." He added, slightly quieter.

"Oh, yeah. Parent's were English…just in case you couldn't tell."

Parents were English? Plural?

He decided to leave the questioning there.

The heavy chrome door slammed shut with a soft thud as Ryuzaki returned to Raito's side, empty handed.

Pinched between his thumb and forefinger, he waved a discreet, black key in front of the boys face.

"Here is the, literal, key to our inebriation."

"In the fridge…?" Raito raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"As the great Yagami Raito once said, 'it is a school night'. Watari always hides the key, I always find it. Watch this space, boy, I'll make a great detective someday."

Silently, Raito nodded, trying desperately to stifle a yawn.

Meanwhile, Ryuzaki approached a cupboard situated close to the floor, on the opposite side of the room to the stove. A metallic click revealed that it was now open. The boy's head momentarily disappeared.

"Poison of choice?" His voice muffled by the enclosure.

"Err…What do you have..?"

Raito mildly dreaded the list which was about to come. Hard drinks. High volume. Drinks which were to ensure him a hangover come morning.

Despite his particularly nervous disposition, he could actually hold his drink relatively well. He was, definitely, not the type to drink away his weekends with fellow under aged friends, but whenever the situation arose that required him to drink, say Christmas, or Birthdays, he had always handled it rather well.

"Sake, wine, Vodka, Whiskey, Bacardi, Gin, Larger, ale, Tequila …"

"Wait, wait a second. Let me repose the question. What don't you have?" He asked, mildly taken aback by the selection on array.

"Ha ha, you made another funny. I like you like this."

Somewhere, deep inside his chest, Raito felt a small swell of pride borne.

"Okay, Right-o, you strike me as a wine drinker. Smart, sophisticated, and , recently discovered, funny. Those sorts of men drink wine."

"Not that I agree with your theorem, but yes, you're right. Wine suits me fine."

"Okaaaay…" The sound of glass clinking arose as Ryuzaki buried himself deeper into the cupboard. "White, red, rose?"

"White."

"Chardonnay, sauvignon blanc, Gewurz…"

"Ryuzaki…any white wine will do…"

Raito had never known a house where it literally took a full five minutes to walk from the kitchen to your bedroom.

As they headed up the staircase, the thick, dense carpeting practically consumed Raito's socked feet. It was soothing.

The only sound the clinking of two wine glasses in Ryuzaki's hand. The bottle of wine sat quietly in the other.

Raito presumed the entire residence must have already retired.

Down the corridor, two doors to the left and they were there.

Ryuzaki pushed open the door with his jean clad behind. Raito had never actually seen somebody open a door handle with their bottom…until just now

"You could have just asked me…"

"Nah, you're the guest."

As they stepped inside, Raito was instantly consumed in a world which was Ryuzaki. A king size bed dressed in rich blue sheets stood in the centre. Despite its size, it didn't even consume half of the room. The walls were, much to Raito surprise, bare, except for the Midnight blue paint which had been expertly applied. A large, oak, bookcase stood tall, crammed to bursting point with thick novels of various natures, to its left the doors to which could only be a closet. And then Raito noticed the feature which stood out the most, despite its transparent nature. A tick, glass table, its top constructed into a hollow box, filled with water and dotted with small goldfish. Real goldfish. It's polished top was clear of decoration. The thick, carpeted floor had recently been vacuumed, spotless and shampooed.

A stack of CD's were lined up by the side of his bed in no particular order, their positioning clearly due to being in easy reach of the large sound system more suitable to a small venue than a bedroom. A red Mac computer stood proudly upon an oak desk with large, leather chair.

"Sit down, get comfy."

In conjunction to the computer desk sat a spare chair, plain and black in nature. Tentatively, Raito placed himself down.

"Don't you own anything…cheap?"

"Depends what you mean by 'cheap'." Placing the bottle and two glasses atop the desk, he walked over to his closet and pulled out a rather suspicious PVC outfit.

Raito's eyes widened in horror.

"This is tacky. But if you mean inexpensive? Then…I don't go wild on socks. They're only run o the mill, regular socks…if I chose to wear them that is."

Pointing silently, Raito eventually said. "What is that?"

"I think you will find, Right-o, that this is a skimpy outfit. Left behind by some girl after a fancy dress party. Not really my bag…" He returned it to the closet, closing the wooden doors, whilst simultaneously closing their conversation.

Flicking on the CD player as he passed, Hard Core dance of an unknown variety to Raito, emitted from the surround sound speakers. Surprisingly, he kept it at a relatively low volume. Clearly, he occasionally respected other people's wishes.

Kneeling before the glass constructed table, Ryuzaki beckoned to Raito, motioning for him to bring the wine.

"Is it ok to put it on the table?" He asked, his voice uncertain.

"It's a table, Raito. Boy, for a genius…"

"Okay, okay!" He cut him off, growing slightly weary of the sarcasm.

Gently, ever so gently, he placed the glass upon glass surface, trying desperately not to crack anything, or not to disturb the small fish residing inside. The clear water rippled slightly upon the contact, two or three fish darting frantically in every direction for just a moment.

It had only taken Ryuzaki two glasses of wine before he had begun to show signs of growing drunk.

Although, give him his due, they were large glasses, and Raito was still on his first.

Currently, he was lying upon the floor, facing the ceiling, head positioned parallel to Raito's legs, hands behind head.

"Y' know, Raito, I've kissed way too many girls."

Raito cautiously sipped his wine. "You don't say."

"I just did. Anyway as I said, I've kissed way too many girls. How about you?"

Suddenly, he flipped onto his stomach with unexpected agility, chin in palms as he stared up expectantly at Raito.

Raito stared back, his mind a blank.

"Wait, before you answer!" Hopping to his feet, he scrambled over to the table, slowly refilled his glass in that manner that makes you overly cautious when you're drunk, and then returned, bearing the same expectant expression as he now sat cross legged before the boy.

"I don't particularly feel like sharing stories like that."

"None, then."

"I didn't say that…"

"Good as.." He took a particularly large sip of wine.

So did Raito.

"You want some of mine?"

"What? Wine?"

"No, stupid. Kisses."

Raito's hand stopped dead on it's way to the near empty bottle. Heart rate speeding.

"You know, I've had so many, I might as well just give you half of my reputation. I don't need that many women on my list. Actually, you'd be doing me a favour!" He threw his head back to laugh, instead using too much force and ending back on his back.

Oh, he meant…

"That's a funny way to give someone kisses…"

"I know lot's of ways to give someone kisses," He giggled mischievously from his position down on the floor.

Emptying the rest of the wine into his glass, Raito drank a few more sips, the warm fuzziness of inebriation beginning to filter into his mind. His eyelids felt slightly heavier, however he was not ready to sleep yet. Suddenly, a thought struck.

"Hey, Ryuzaki, since you're so drunk, how am I going to get back home?"

"you're not. I'm keeping you for tonight."

"Oh…I wish you would have said earlier."

"Why? You gotta tell your mum?"

…Maybe.

"No, I just like to be prepared."

There was a small silence, the two slowly draining their glasses, Raito wondering how on earth Ryuzaki managed not to spill any on himself whilst drinking down on the floor.

The click of a lighter emitted and a plume of smoke arose from the floor.

"Want one?"

A white hand shot up from the ground, bearing the half empty pack.

"I don't smoke."

"I know. But when you're drunk, it feels nice."

Raito eyed the packet suspiciously. His mildly fuzzy mind making the weak argument almost seem plausible.

Tentatively, he reached out, the pack wobbling slightly as Ryuzki's arm grew tired from being held out vertically.

"Got one?" He asked, without bothering to look over.

"Mmhmm…"

Draining the remainder of his glass, the boy rolled the perfect, straight stick between his fingers, his pinch covering the brown of the filtered section.

Putting it to his lips, he applied pressure to it, testing out its feel, taste, texture.

Glass chinked loudly s Ryuzaki sat up and placed his wine glass upon the table.

"Here, I'll light it for you."

Instead of reaching into his pocket, he put his already lit stick to his lips, leaned in and slowly, carefully, so not to slip, lit Raito's with his own.

Raito's cheeks blazed with the unexpected closeness.

Removing the cigarette, he exhaled the smoke, surprised at the lack of harshness residing in his throat.

Ryuzaki eyed him questioningly.

"Are you even taking that back?"

"Taking…"

"After you've taken a drag, are you inhaling it?"

"Am I mea…"

"Yes, you're meant to."

"Oh…" Raito lowered his head to hide his embarrassment. He couldn't be sure whether it was that or the heat of the wine perpetually lighting his cheeks.

Putting the lit stick to his lips, he inhaled and took the smoke into his lungs. An inescapable tickle ran down his throat, and he spluttered against his will.

"Theeere we go." Ryuzaki said, kicking off his socks and throwing himself backwards onto his bed. "You'll have to come here."

Raito looked up, perplexed. His vision took a second or two to focus.

"Why?"

"Because I have the ashtray. You ain't flicking it onto the carpet."

"I wouldn't dream of that." He almost shouted in objection, but hurriedly remembered not to let the drink take a hold of him.

"Come here then."

Neatly, he sat himself at the foot of the bed, the sheets rustling as if they were crisp and fresh.

"I don't see an ashtray down there, Raito."

Cautiously, he shuffled up. He didn't know where to sit. Ryuzaki was sprawled on his back in the centre, dominating most of the room.

Chocolate eyes flicked to his fingers.

"You may wanna stub that."

Raito looked down to find the tangles of smoke licking at his fingers, the cherry having almost burned down to the filter. He had only taken two drags.

Where was the ashtray?

He spotted it on the bedside table, the one opposite to Raito's side.

Rather than getting up and walking over to it, his logical thinking momentarily misplaced in his current state, he leaned over the width of the bed and crushed the butt into the ceramic dish.

Lean arms wrapped around his torso and forced him down, the two bodies bouncing with recoil as they collided.

"Ryuzaki…what are you..."

"Playing."

They both remained motionless, the boys arms still wrapped around Raito's stiff body, their faces side by side, not quite meeting.

"Why are you so quiet?"

"Sorry, Ryuzaki…this just feels a bit awkward."

"No, I meant in general."

Raito held his breath. He only realized once he had exhaled. He did not want to talk about this. Especially not whilst he was tipsy. Especially not whilst he was being held by the boy.

"Raito, I'm sorry. You don't have to say anything…I guess I just want to know you better." Somehow, despite his actions, Ryuzaki was appeared to come across as more caring during his intoxicated state.

A firm hand began to stroke his back, massaging his shoulder blades.

Oh god…feels good.

Burying his face into the pillow, Raito frowned deeply. He should move. This felt so wrong. It felt so wrong because it felt so good.

It frightened him terribly.

"Ryuzaki, I…" He pushed himself up so that he was positioned over the boy, his arms either side of Ryuzaki's head serving to prop himself up.

The boys expression caused his words to get stuck on their way out. His brow knitted together in concern, dark eyes bloodshot from tiredness, his lip bitten between his teeth.

"What's wrong, Ryuzaki?"

"Everything"

"What? What do you mean?" Raito frowned deeply. He just about noticed the ache in his arms from where he had been holding himself up for too long.

"I mean everything. No, that's a lie. I don't. Some things are right."

Raito's expression didn't changed. His features arranged into a picture of pure confusion. Something about seeing this boy, one usually so full of confidence, in a state of woe was terribly disconcerting.

"Like what?"

"Like you."

Before he could register those two words, cool, pallid hands slid through his hair, grabbing desperately at two handfuls and pulled his face into his own, pushing his lips onto the boys eyelids, onto his nose and then finally onto his lips. A long, soft, lingering kiss.

Not like the one he had seen Ryuzaki share with that girl.

Not dirty, or hurried, or lewd.

Just a simple meeting of lips. Slow and longing.

Raito was frozen. His lips didn't move.

Did Ryuzaki even notice?

And then suddenly it all stopped. As if someone had flicked off a switch. As fast as it has all began.

Chocolate brown eyes were wide in shock, staring into auburn orbs. His white face arranged into one of utter mortification.

"Raito…I am telling you now…"

Pushing the boy to the side, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood.

"…I am not gay."

Walking towards the door, he paused with his hand on the handle.

"I am NOT fucking gay."

And left.


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry I'm takin; so long to upload, guys, i've been reaaaaaaaaally busy with other things DX Anyway, here's my new penname :3 inspired by my new fandom.

-1Chapter 7.- Resignation

I have ruined everything…

--

The door slammed shut, the reverberations feeling as though they would continued on for ever as they reached Raito, shaking throughout his body, unsettling him further.

His knees tucked up to his chest, arms wrapped firmly around his legs, as he sat, stock still, on the bed.

He couldn't even begin to contemplate what had happened. But the pure shock had completely evaporated any feelings of inebriation which had

previously stirred in his body.

In…

Out…

In…

Out…

One deep breath in through the nose.

One long exhale out of the mouth.

Repeat.

In,

Out,

In,

Out,

In, Out,

In, Out, In, Out,

In, Out, In, Out, In, Out, In, Out,

He concentrated with absolute determination on his breathing, the one

vital thing to keep him under control, to stop him from having an

attack.

InOutInOutInOutInOutInOutInOutInOutInOut

The harder he focused, the more he began to lose control.

--

Heavy footsteps descended into the kitchen, cupboard doors opening, and then slamming shut, glasses rattling with the force. He stopped, placed his elbows on the cold, hard counter, lowered his head and breathed… slowly…

Before pounding his fists into the granite worktops.

Snatching a glass from one of the cupboards he had left open, he filled it partway with cold water, and paused just before his lips. Instead, he opted to splash the liquid over his face, in an attempt to sober up and cool down.

Grabbing a tea towel, he rubbed at his burning features, before balling it up and throwing it into the empty sink.

An incessant drumming gradually crept into his tangled thoughts. He only realized it were his own fingers upon the countertop once a dull throb began to blossom in the tips.

--

Bag.

Need a bag.

His chest grew tight as his breathing became more and more restricted. He clutched at the front of his shirt, twisting the material between his fingers as he rocked back and forth.

His heart hammered against his ribs, his palms growing sweaty.

Not…dying.

Just attack.

He shut his eyes tight, attempting to bask in the dark, focussing on his breathing, pretending he were back at home, his room, in bed…

In, out, in, out, in, out, in, out, InOutInOutInOutInOut

The room swayed as reality began slipping.

--

What was it?

Why the hell did he do it?

He banged his glass down on the table, the thick base of the high ball close to cracking.

Why the fuck did he just do something so utterly selfish.

…and then react like that.

But more importantly…

Why the hell did he do it?

Stepping out of the kitchen door and into the large expanse of grounds,

he allowed the cold, late night air to wash over his damp skin.

--

Breeeeeeathe.

Breeeeeeathe.

The grip on his chest loosened slightly, his palpitations beginning to subside. His forehead had grown clammy.

Nobody, not ever, would grow used to panic attacks. But Raito had at least developed certain techniques to help ease them.

He needed to think. He needed to work out what he was going to do. But if his mind began working over what had just happened, all that he would achieve was another lapse.

He had to wipe his brain. Force involuntary images from flashing through his head, searing themselves into his mind's eye.

Keep everything out of his head. Don't think of what just happened. Don't think of what could happen. And don't think of…

His chest tightened.

His palms sweated.

…that…

His breathing became erratic.

…time…

I

Need

Help.

--

The grass was damp and dewy, the chill seeping through the material of his jeans.

He didn't really care.

Putting his hands out behind him, he leant back and craned his neck up towards the ebony sky. No stars.

Craning his head back even further he could see that the light to his room was still on. The artificial glow merging out into the black atmosphere of the night.

So…He hadn't left yet.

Although, in such a situation, most people would not have the thought to switch the light off before leaving… but this was Raito. The state of the economy and conserving energy would still probably rate high on his list.

One corner of his mouth raised.

It was idiosyncrasies such as these which compelled Ryuzaki to the boy.

His hand automatically reached for his pack of cigarettes as his stomach lurched upon the realization that he had just unwittingly acknowledged the fact that he was indeed drawn to Raito.

Fumbling with the crumpled cardboard, he withdrew a slightly bent stick and clamped it between his lips whilst he dug in his pockets for his lighter.

Not there. Not in the front ones. His stood up and patted his legs down, his mouth set in a grim line.

Fuck. Fucking left it upstairs.

--

Raito's hands thwacked into the bedside table as he tumbled from the mattress, knocking the red lighter onto the carpet.

On his hands and knees, his head hung low, his breathing short, sharp gasps. His chest on fire.

One hand forward, then one leg. He crawled one pace.

Bag.

A paper bag. A plastic bag. Anything. He needed it. Needed to control his intake of oxygen. Increase his supply of carbon dioxide.

Another pace. He was moving.

But to where?

He couldn't see properly. He didn't know where everything was in this alien room. He didn't even know if there was a bag.

One hand forward. Next, one leg.

He could feel bile rising in his throat, the burning sting scratching at the walls of his oesophagus.

One hand…one leg….

His head unexpectedly shot with pain, a shattering crash resounding from somewhere above.

Something trickled down the side of his face.

--

I gotta get it.

Ryuzaki, right now, wanted more than anything to be able eradicate what had happened. And, logically, the first step to that would be not entering his room. Running away from Raito, not facing him.

But his body was screaming for nicotine.

And, the only supply of lighters in this house were in his room.

His heart in his throat, he approached the stairs.

--

His world had gone dark.

His body having crashed.

At least his heart rate was now normal.

--

The door was still firmly shut, just how Ryuzaki had left it. The image of himself slamming it in his unjustified fury caused his heart to tighten with shame. Carefully, quietly, he opened the door, expecting to be met by a barrage of shouts.

The boys whereabouts was not immediately obvious.

Gradually, he walked into the room, his breath caught in his throat. He had no idea why, but he felt extremely uneasy coming face to face with his empty room. As if the equilibrium had been disturbed and his subconscious sensed it before he had.

He suddenly looked down.

His chocolate eyes were met with an unmoving form.

--

Muffled shouts drifted in and out of his consciousness. Something penetrating the darkness. A tight sensation presented itself somewhere on his being. He could not quite determine where, and what from.

And then he could feel something sticky. On his face. It was cold and wet. Dense pain throbbed in his skull as he attempted to open his eyes, confusion flooding in as he took in the vision of a boys face, engulfed by shock.

--

"Raito! RAITO! WAKE THE FUCK UP."

Ryuzaki had grabbed the limp form's arms and pulled him up, so that he was sitting. His head rolled forward onto his chest.

Ryuzaki was a genius. He knew all there was to know. But met with a scene such as this, panic and fear overtook.

He had no idea what to do.

Gripping hold of Raito's shoulders, he shook him, trying desperately to pull him out of wherever he was headed.

He glanced at the dark spots of blood on his carpet, situated right next to the broken shards of the wine bottle, and forced back the welling in his throat and behind his eyes.

"Please, don't to this to me," He begged helplessly as he gripped hold of the boy, limp and lifeless.

--

His head lolled uncontrollably, not at all helping to ease the sharp pain in his head. He seemed unable to bring himself to however. His eyes gradually opened, using all of his might to keep the lids apart.

It was Ryuzaki.

He was sitting in front of him, his arms out in front holding onto Raito, for some reason, shaking him vigorously.

He parted his lips, his jaw refusing to work for a moment, and a small

sound escaped his lips.

It went unheard.

Hands slapped at his cheeks, attempting to summon a consciousness that was already there.

He opened his mouth again, bringing forth all of the energy he could muster.

"Wh…what's…what?" It was all he could manage.

The shaking stopped, the boy in front of him bringing his face closer, his features unmoving.

--

His heart stopped.

His limbs grew weak with relief.

He felt ready to collapse.

"Raito…" He choked, the word almost becoming caught. He swallowed hard.

"Raito. What the hell happened?"

--

He had no idea.

He looked down. Saw blood.

If he hadn't been in such a state of confusion, he may have been concerned.

Reaching out with one unsteady hand, he brought his fingers to his cheek and wiped away the residue. It was clear. He smelt it.

His nostrils were met with the unmistakable stench of alcohol.

--

Ryuzaki grabbed the boys hand away from his face and shoved up his sleeve. Nothing. Grabbing the other hand, he repeated the process. Nothing.

He turned his arms around with force, twisting them back and forth to make sure he hadn't missed any abrasions.

A huge lump in his throat deemed him unable to talk.

--

"Blood."

It came out as a statement, with the intention of a question.

Ryuzaki had finally let go of his hands. Pointing at the alabaster skin of the other boys hands, he repeated the word.

--

Ryuzaki frowned in confusion as he inspected his palms.

Once more, he took Raito's.

And there, in the centre of his index finger, was a clean cut. Fresh, not too deep, but clean.

Looking to the carpet, he suddenly realized that there was in no way enough blood spilled to incite the thoughts he had just processed.

Shame, guilt and embarrassment rushed to his cheeks.

"I'm sorry." He laughed weekly through his words. "I'm sorry, man."

--

A weak embrace enveloped his right shoulder as Ryuzaki leaned forward, for some reason laughing whilst apologizing.

His head bowed down, Raito could not see his expression. All he could see were his shoulders shaking gently as a small laugh escaped his throat, along with the word's 'I'm sorry'.

Eventually, he raised his head.

A tear trail kissed each cheek.

--

With the sleeve of his jumper, he wiped at his face, rubbing his cheeks red.

"I'm sorry. I…fuck knows what happened." He threw his hands up in defeat.

What else could he say?

"And I'm sorry for storming out and leaving you. It was all my fault. And I'm really sorry that I thought you'd killed yourself."

--

Raito's eyes widened in shock.

So that's what had incited his reaction.

He looked down to find that he was sitting amongst shards of glass.

Ah, so that's what had happened . He must have bumped his head into the table, knocking over the bottle of wine.

Ryuzaki sniffed, and gave a deep cough, attempting to clear his throat.

"Kill myself? Try and deflate your ego."

--

Ryuzaki couldn't stop himself from laughing.

"Yeah, I really should. Hahahaha, man I'm ridiculous. 'I wanna drink'. What a bad idea…"

His smile suddenly vanished, the realization of the situation hitting him with full force, the shock having not quite ebbed away.

"Raito…" His voice had lowered, grown quiet. "That will never happen again."

Hazel eyes met his, somehow, maybe just to Ryuzaki, appearing stern. He nodded. "Good."

--

After ordering and paying for a taxi for Raito, much to his adamant refusal of being given money, Ryuzaki crawled into bed, deciding that he would leave the mess for the morning.

Or rather, Watari.

He reached for his lighter after putting his long overdue cigarette to his lips. Grinding the metal against the flint, the sparks momentarily illuminated the space five cm's in front of him.

Suddenly, everything felt pointless.

Placing the stick back into it's pack, he couldn't help but feel the stirrings of disappointment grow inside.

--

A short rap upon the door pulled Ryuzaki out of his slumber, just moments before his alarm sounded. Watari somehow always managed to do that, every morning, at the exact same time.

"Come in," He croaked, his throat thick with sleep.

"Good morning, Master Ryuzaki."

The impeccably dressed butler came in carrying a silver trey topped with a steaming cup of coffee, a glass of water and a packet of aspirin.

"I thought you may need these, considering the amount of noise you created last night, I deduced you were drunk."

His stiff delivery filled the boy with shame.

"Shit. I'm sorry. Didn't mean to wake you. Anyway, you'd 'deduced' right."

After setting down the trey, he stepped back and smiled.

"Ryuzaki, it is your house. Your father did not leave it to me. No need to appologize."

A short bow and he left the room, shutting the door behind him.

"It's our house." He mumbled into the glass, as he swallowed the two, chalky tablets.

--

Morning lessons passed slowly through the midst of Ryuzaki's pounding skull. He had spent his time predominately resting his head in his hands.

The sound of the bell tore through his head.

Grabbing his bag from beneath his desk, he was the first to leave the class, in a somewhat unintentional show of his eagerness to get out.

"Hey, Ryuzaki!" Nobu called out from the back of the class, his cry going unheard. "What the fuck's up with him?"

What class, what class?

Pacing the long corridor of emptying classes, the boy struggled to remember which lesson Raito had before break.

Students filed past in numbers, none of which resembling his companion.

Where was he?

He was almost certain he would be in one of these four classrooms.

It wouldn't hurt to ask.

Stepping inside the room on the far left, he approached the teacher sitting at the desk, with no apparent sense of hierarchy.

"Hey, is Yagami Raito here today?"

The seated man looked up in surprise, his eyebrows raised behind his glasses.

Ryuzaki peered at him expectantly.

"Sorry, who?"

"Yagami Raito…"

The man continued to fix him with an expressionless glance.

"Oh…Oh no. Don't tell me I've done it again. Have I completely imagined

this boy?"

Sighing in annoyance, the teacher pulled out a piece of paper from beneath his folder and consulted it.

From what Ryuzaki could see, it was a seating plan.

"No, he isn't. That desk was empty today."

Ryuzaki frowned. A wave of sadness washing over him. Was it necessary to refer to a piece of paper recall this boy's existence?

--

The whole day went by without the boys presence. Ryuzaki hadn't spotted him at all. His friends made numerous comments about his distant attitude and demanded to know what was wrong. Casually, he waved it off as a hangover.

Inside, he couldn't stop worrying about Raito.

As stupid as it was.

--

"Watari, could we please make a stop at the Yagami's?"

with a small click, Watari flicked on the indicator, warning other drivers of his new course in direction.

"Of course."

School had just finished and Ryuzaki had turned down various invites for the night. He didn't feel like getting drunk. He didn't feel like getting laid.

He didn't feel like admitting why that was either.

He was hoping upon confirming Raito's wellbeing that he would feel settled, and perhaps be able to meet with his friends.

That was, if Raito wasn't up for anything.

Which he sincerely doubted.

Did he blame the boy?

No. Not at all.

He internally cringed. He still didn't know what had come over him, possessed him to do such a thing. He couldn't hide though. Couldn't run from it. All that was left to do was to repair what he had done wrong.

The engine cut off as Watari's voice floated over to the back seat.

"Would you like me to wait here?"

"Yes, thank you, Watari. I doubt I'll be long."

"I hope everything is ok."

Just before he shut the door, he could swear Watari had added something else just then.

--

"I'll get it, Mum!" Sayu sang as she bounded towards the front door, the bell having just rang throughout the house.

Pulling it open, her lips poised with a greeting, she stopped, her words frozen.

"Heyyyy," Ryuzaki drawled. "Big bro in?"

"Uh…HI!hi. Yeah, uh, come in." Falling over herself to clear the way for

him, she ran to the bottom of the stairs to call out for her brother.

"He should be down in a sec." She gave a small hurried bow, her line of vision averting his.

"Thanks, cutie."

Her cheeks blazed as she finally looked at him.

"Homework," She muttered as she ran up the stairs, almost colliding with Raito as he traipsed past her, uncharacteristically mussed.

Just before the bottom step, he stopped.

"Hey, Yagami, what's up?" He said cheerfully, hoping to achieve the same sort of response.

"Um, not much. I'm just catching up on some rest." He didn't smile.

"Under the weather." He added quietly.

"Oh. K, I won't stay long then." Stepping forward, he leaned closer so that he was just in ear shot. "Is, uh, everything ok?"

Raito raised an eyebrow in questioning. "How so?"

"You. And me. Are we ok?"

His dark eyebrows were knitted together in concern as he unconsciously fiddled with the fabric of his trousers.

"Fine." Short, terse reply.

"I'm not convinced." He smiled slightly, attempting to make light of the conversation.

The boy sighed heavily.

"Ryuuzaki, we are fine. Please, I'm not feeling great, I just need to get back to bed."

"Ok, man, if you're sure." He replied reluctantly. He turned, his hand poised on the door. "Oh yeah, will I see you tomorrow at school?"

The boy nodded. "Yes. I'll see you then."

"K, babe," He grinned. "Get some rest."

Ryuzaki left feeling emptier than when he had come.

--

"Watari, forgive me, but I need to make one more stop."

"Forgiven." He smiled, looking into the rear view mirror. "Where will it

be?"

"24, Junan, Please."

"Certainly."

"I won't be a moment." Ryuzaki announced as he once more exited the car. He approached the drive way of a fairly large estate, family car parked in the drive way, respectable garden trimmed and neat.

His knock was answered promptly by a middle aged woman, hair neatly tied back into a ponytail.

Watari could see her smile politely and usher Ryuzaki in.

"He's just upstairs. Just knock on his door."

"Thanks," he grinned, trotting up onto the landing.

Pausing for moment to recall which door was his, Ryuzaki opted for the end one, faintly remembering that it was always the one situated at the end of the hallway.

He rapped abruptly on the door. The sound of heavy rock music being turned down emanated through the wooden partition as footsteps

approached.

The door swung inwards with some force, the expression on the boy before him lightening as he saw who it was.

"Ryuzaki…"

"Hey." He smiled slightly.

"Didn't think I'd see you again, I gave up on you months ago."

"What can I say," He shrugged. "Sometimes we all need a pick up."

Entering the cluttered domain of the teen, the door slammed shut behind them, and the volume of the music once more rose, drowning out any exchange to the outside world.

Kids, don't do drugs. (I've often wanted to say that)


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8- Narcotic.

The blonde haired boy reclined in his chair, one leg crossed over the other, playing absently with the string of rosary beads which hung

around his neck.

Ryuzaki stood, somewhat awkwardly, in the doorway.

Resting his elbows upon his knees, he leaned forward and regarded the other teen with a raised eyebrow.

"So, what made you change your mind?"

He lifted his pale shoulders, not really sure of an answer.

"Well, it's none of my business really."

The stale air was stained with the scent of smoke, the box-esque constraints of the room hot boxed due to the sealed off openings.

Ryuzaki could feel his head grow groggy just from the smell.

There was a moment of silence where he surveyed his surroundings, subconsciously taking it all in; the various rock band posters tacked to the black walls, dirty clothing strewn across the carpet, numerous ashtrays un-emptied atop of an unkempt desk, and a large sound system dominating a good portion of the small enclosure. Loud music continued to emit from its speakers.

"Take a seat," The younger teen proffered him the empty swivel chair

intended to be couple with a computer desk, whilst he sprinkled tobacco onto a large rolling paper.

"Thanks, Mello, but can't stay long."

Sliding his tongue along the glued edge of paper, he looked up at Ryuzaki with a flick of his almost-black eyes.

"What can I do you for then?"

He rolled the paper between his thumb and index finger, producing a neat, white cylinder as he awaited the boys answer.

Ryuzaki rubbed at the back of his neck and looked towards the window.

"E's."

Mello paused, the joint halfway to his lips.

"Thought you weren't big on those."

"Yeah, well, I need a pick up. As I said."

Leaning forward, Mello reached blindly beneath his bed, pulling out a non descript shoe box. Removing the dust covered lid, he withdraw a velvet red jewellery box, originally intended for holding either earrings or other such items.

"I'm running low. It'll cost."

He eyed the box in the boys hand. Hesitation evident in his gaze. Though not because of the imminent high price.

"You know moneys not an option," He eventually said.

"How many?"

He paused. Considered his plans.

"Make it four."

"10, 500."

"I hope you mean yen." He laughed.

"That alright with you?" The blonde teen ignored the quip.

He stared at the box within the boys grasp.

"Yeah…that's fine."

"Ok." Reaching into his draw, he withdrew a small, see through, sealable

bag. "Just make sure you don't get a repeat of last time."

The door to the Roll's opened with a loud click as Ryuzaki slid into the soft leather of the back seats.

"Thanks, Watari. That'll be it for me."

Kindly eyes studied him from the rear-view mirror. Their edges were creased from what Ryuzaki guessed was a smile. "Did you get everything you wanted?"

The teen pulled his legs up to his chest and leaned his head again the blacked out glass, delaying his response.

"…Yeah."

The drive home seemed inexplicably lengthened. He knew why though. His mind was encompassed with open ended tangents.

Last night, today, Raito's absence from school, and then his abrupt, terse attitude when he turned up at his house. He didn't know why, but he was just so…unsettled by it.

Maybe it was because he wasn't used to being rejected, so to speak.

But then again, why should he be bothered? It was a drunken mishap.

Something stupid.

Something stupid…that led to him purchasing illegal narcotics. So it can't have been that stupid, could it? To make him feel low enough to mess around again.

He rolled his warm forehead against the cool glass of the window, leaving a clouded imprint.

His right hand gripped hold of the small baggy in his pocket.

"I'm so stupid…" He whispered to nobody but himself.

No matter how much he acknowledged this, it didn't change his decision.

Throwing back the covers deciding that he was now too hot, Raito swung his legs over the side of the bed and pushed himself up.

He suddenly felt restless.

He'd taken the day off to try and balance himself after the events of last night. His panic attack may not have lasted for long, but the after effects of feeling unreasonably down still clung to his subconscious.

He went over to the window, his bare feet padding against the carpet quietly. The sun had begun to set and the sky was tinged orange, just like his first day at school, when he had been heading home and came

across Ryuzaki in that alleyway…

A wave of sadness washed over him.

He had, actually, just been quite rude to the boy. The boy who had come over just to see how he was, concerned by his absence from school.

He sighed heavily, his chest heaving with the force.

Tomorrow he would see him, he would act normal, he would forget the whole episode.

Everything would just go back to how it should be.

His mobile clattered loudly upon the surface of his glass table, the vibration sending it into motion as it received a text message.

Ryuzaki pushed himself off of his bed and retrieved the phone, unlocking it to read his reply.

_Yeh we still going2 Kazukis party. U comin 2 now? Meet 8 his house. Jouji._

He was in two minds. He did not want to stay at home, brooding, his room a constant reminder of last night. But if he went, he knew he would not be able to hold back from letting go.

However, depression just didn't suit him.

_C u there._

His reply was short and to the point.

Heading to his wardrobe, he pulled out a change of clothing, making sure to extract the plastic bag and replace it into the pocket of his fresh jeans.

Checking his reflection in his floor length mirror one last time, he sighed heavily to himself.

And left.

The evening air was light and cool, the black of night having already replaced the sun. Kazuki's was only a twenty minute walk at most, situated in a middle class estate north of Ryuzaki's. His house, relatively big in size compared to most, annually hosted a party when his parents where away in the states, visiting family.

Ryuzaki turned the corner, Kazuki's almost in view, when his phone vibrated in his jacket pocket. He unzipped it and retrieved it, just as the last ring faded out.

U almost here man? Yukis asking after u. Nobu.

He frowned as he studied the text.

_Yuki…_

_Oh god, Yuki._

_What did she want?_

A one night stand, more than three months ago now, was asking after him. He kneaded the bridge of his nose, unsure of how to react to this statement. And how to respond to her if she approached him at the party.

He couldn't just ignore her…but…

He suddenly found himself at the front door. Lights were visible beyond the frosted glass panes surrounding the doorframe, music leaking through the closed entrance.

He rang the bell. And waited.

And waited.

He rang it again.

Blurred images of people walking past the frosted panes caught his eye, but apparantly nobody could here the bell.

Grabbing his phone, he punched in Nobu's number.

The line connected with a small beep and his ears were met with loud music and copious voices, tinny from the mobile connection.

"Nobu, come get me. I'm out front."

"HUH!"

He sighed heavily, before putting the mouthpiece to his lips.

"I AM OUTSIDE. ANSWER THE DOOR."

A second voice suddenly floated over the receiver, quieter than Nobu's.

"Who is it, man?"

"I dunno, I think it's the strippergram." And with that, the line was cut dead.

Ryuzaki looked at his phone with a frown, shaking his head slightly, deciding he would leave it two minutes before calling someone else.

The door swung open, the sounds from within suddenly crashing out. Nobu stood before him, his black Mohawk fallen to one side, a half empty plastic glass of beer in his hand.

"It's only Ryuzaki!" He called over his shoulder, to someone out of the teen's vision.

"Only?" He raised his eyebrows. "I'll be the one to make this party, mind what you say." He stepped inside, slipping past his friend.

The hall situated of a large, wide staircase, two open doors either side of the bottom landing. The western style house was already filled with both teenagers and young adults, some from school, and others he didn't recognise.

Making his way through the throngs of dancing bodies which occupied the living room, he squeezed his way into the kitchen. The scent of alcohol was strong, combining with the stench of smoke to produce an unappetizing cocktail.

Nobu had followed close behind, making several attempts to talk to his friend.

"Ryuzaki, what the hell's wrong with you?" He eventually said as they stopped by the fridge, the aforementioned reaching for a half empty bottle of tequila.

"Sorry?" He asked, confusion flitting across his face.

"You've been totally blanking me. And I don't just mean now. I mean since Wednesday night…"

He frowned, not concentrating on how much alcohol he was putting into his glass. "Have I?" He knew full well he had.

"Yeah. It's not just me who noticed. What's up?" If you were not acquainted with Nobu, this question could be construed as concern. Ryuzaki knew better.

"I've just been busy lately. You know, this n that."

"Ahhh…." He said, nodding in apparent understanding. "Girls."

Ryuzaki took a swig of his drink, cringing with the sting in his throat.

"…Yeah."

Nobu, apparantly satiated with the response, took his friend upstairs, past the strewn glasses and bottles in the corridor and through a door that had been left slightly ajar, soft light seeping out onto the carpet.

Inside it was apparent that this room was Kazuki's parent's. A large king-size bed sat in the centre of the room, its covers dishevelled beneath the strewn bodies of various teenagers, three of them being from his main clique.

One of them, Yuki.

"Hey, Ryu," Jouji called from his kneeled position on the floor. He had just finished rolling a cigarette and popped it in his mouth before he stood to greet his friend.

Upon hearing his name, Yuki rolled over from her front onto her back, so that she had to crane her head back to look at him. Her knees were bent and her legs flopped open, the material of the skirt dipping in between her appendages.

"Cover UP!" Her friend squealed, throwing a pillow over her skirt.

The name of the friend eluded Ryuzaki.

"Shut up, Ukiko!"

Ukiko…That was it.

"What are they on?" He mumbled to Nobu.

"Nothing, just drunk."

He snorted in disapproval.

"Dude, what time is it?" Ryuzaki called from the other side of the room, the drink inside him slurring his words ever so slightly. He lifted his head from the bed to try and spot Jouji.

"Ten thirty." An answer rose up from the floor. Jouji situated beyond

the foot of the bed. What he was up to Ryuzaki had no idea.

He wasn't sure how much he had had to drink, but whenever he finished a glass or a can, his hand was replenished instantly by one of the rooms occupants.

There were eight people, three of which were girls.

None of which Ryuzaki had paid particular interest in.

Despite one girls particular efforts.

Ryuzaki turned his head to see who was lying next to him. Takumi. His bleached hair brushing against Ryuzaki's cheek when he turned to face him.

"Hey, Takumi." He whispered.

The bassey vibrations from the bedroom stereo player masked Ryuzaki's own low tones perfectly.

Takumi inclined his head slightly, as if questioning his friend as to what he had just said.

He shrugged his body down so that they were in line with each other, raven hair mashed with platinum. Bringing his lips to the boys ear, he spoke in a whisper.

"You up for doin' E?"

Takumi's head shot round, as if he hadn't quit heard him right. The remainder of the people in the room continued as if their conversation didn't even exist.

"Yeah, man. I don't know where we can get any right now…"

Ryuzaki moved even close, bringing his voice lower.

"I have some already."

Hazel eyes widened in obvious delight.

"How many?"

"Four."

"Two each?"

A pause.

"One for now."

A grin broke out on Takumi's face. "It's been a while. One should be fine. Just don't schitz out like last time." Suddenly, he sat up, taking Ryuzaki by surprise.

"Hey, can someone get Ryuzaki a glass of water? He's feeling sick."

Yuki, who had previously been sat by the window, a good five foot away from the bed, stood up abruptly and gladly applied herself to the mission.

The black haired teen frowned.

"Why'd you say that?"

"They're gonna wonder why we need water. It's just an excuse to back us up."

He shrugged, quietly thinking that 'I'm thirsty' would have sufficed.

Two minutes later, long black hair swishing behind her as she bounced in, cameYuki, a concerned expression on her face. She passed him the water with a sweet smile, taking it upon herself to place a cool palm on his forehead.

Ryuzaki frowned in discomfort.

"Oh, you do feel hot!" She giggled. "Take it easy…" She lowered herself, her lips meeting his ear. "Or we're just gonna have to play nurse."

He batted her away with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I'm fine." He muttered.

Reaching into his pocket, Ryuzaki fumbled with the sealed bag, opening it and carefully extracting two small, white pills before pulling them out into the open.

He brushed his hand with Takumi's under the cover, exchanging the pill into his.

Before putting it onto his tongue, he whispered "Remember not to dehydrate." And swiftly swallowed, washing it down with a gulp of water before passing the glass.

Laying back, he settled his head into the pillow, watching the pattern on the ceiling sway ever so slightly due to the amount he'd drank. He shut his eyes just for a moment.

And opened them to find Nobu standing over him, shaking his shoulders.

"Ryu you've been passed out for like, an hour. Get up, we're all heading downstairs."

But Ryuzaki didn't want to go downstairs. He wanted to talk. To Nobu. He was right there. And he was his friend. Hell, one of his best friends.

Grabbing at the boys sleeve, he yanked him down onto the bed, sitting himself up at the same time.

"Nobu, Nobu, we can go downstairs later! Let's talk. Yeah, let's talk. Haven't seen you since Wednesday. You know how long that is? It's like…two days. Doesn't sound much does it? But put it into hours. That's forty eight hours. Sounds a little worse now, doesn't it? Now put it into minutes. That's two thousand eight hundred and eighty minutes. Now that's fucking years man… Aw, give me a hug."

He stretched his arms out and enveloped Nobu, who was apparantly reluctant to return the embrace.

Pushing him back he grabbed his pale cheeks, staring intensely into his eyes.

"You like my eyes? Pretty aren't they. They're my favourite part of me. Well, apart from my di.."

"Shut up for a second. Your eyes are too dark to see your damn pupils. You on something, man?"

"The bed." To which his reaction was to collapse onto said bed, laughing particularly loud.

A feminine voice suddenly reached his ears, followed by a fresh scent of perfume.

"Someone smells sexy." He said, sitting himself up. He began working his jaw, his teeth grinding together, creating a pleasant sensation in his mouth.

Yuki was standing before him, her slanted eyes taking in his strange disposition. "Are you ok?"

"Yukiiiiiii, yeah I'm fine. Even better now you're here." Standing up he grabbed her by the hands, pulling her closer. He couldn't understand how he hadn't wanted her around him earlier. She smelt so good, She was so beautiful. And she liked him. "Let's go downstairs, baby, I wanna dance with you."

"Ok!" She said, apparantly appeased. "Just stop grinding your jaw like a cow…"

"A cow? Most people would take that as an insult, but cows are beautiful. Have you ever seen one so close up? Big dark eyes. Like me actually. I guess I am a cow! Cows keep grinding there jaws like they're on ecstasy, don't they? Maybe that's what the farmers put in the grass. Makes better milk that way. Ok, nobody steal that idea, I am going to patent it in the morning…"

But Yuki had already stopped listening, dragging the teen through the even more crowded halls, down into the living room and into the cleared space where couples were dancing up close together.

The track changed to a slow paced dance song, everybody pairing up, those left by themselves sitting on the sidelines.

Dainty hands wrapped around Ryuzaki's waist and pulled him close. His own hands met her shoulders, bare, except for the straps of her vest top. She felt so soft. His hands massaged at her skin, sliding down her arms and up again.

He found himself talking an talking about skin, how everyone's was different, how hers was soft and tan and his was pale and cold.

"I fucking love this song." He suddenly exclaimed.

She pulled back in surprised, her eyebrow raised. "Didn't think it was your kind of thing."

"It's not. I just suddenly like it." he grinned. Despite his sudden declaration, he couldn't help but feel thing were moving too slow. They were dancing too slow. Talking to slow. Basically, they were just going too slow. He had pent up energy, and he needed to expel it.

He rested his cheek against the girls head which was currently leaning against his chest.

"Yuki." He whispered.

"Mmm?" The noise vibrated in her throat, passing through to Ryuzaki, Something about it felt amazing.

"Do you wanna join me?"

She stopped moving. Her mood noticeably shifting.

"Ryuzaki…In usual circumstances I would take that to mean sex…but I'm not stupid. I know you're on something."

Her face was set into a serious expression, her body totally still in amongst the fast paced motions of their peers.

"You don't wanna try it?" He asked, grinning at how cute she looked. He felt so amazing, so uplifted, so free, he wanted her to feel that way too.

Hesitating, she looked down at the floor, and then back up at him again.

"What…what is it?"

"The most wonderful thing you'll ever experience."

"I'm guessing ecstasy." She said quietly. It would be impossible to hear their conversation anyway, but she wanted to ensure that they went unheard.

Reaching out, he pulled her small body into his and hugged her tightly,

sharing his immeasurable feeling of joy. He held her for what felt like ages, everybody moving except them.

"Ok…" She whispered.

"Ok?" He asked, suddenly baffled. He had completely forgotten what they had been talking about.

"I'll join you."

His face spread into a toothy grin upon realization, his hand reaching into his pocket. His inhibitions having left him, he didn't even think to conceal what it was he was bringing out for everybody to see.

Pulling open the bag he extracted one chalky white pill and placed it on his tongue. One pallid hand slid down the girls side, onto her hip and up beneath her top, gently fingering her smooth skin. The other slid into her hair, pulling her head close until their noses met, their lips touched, his head inclined as he slipped his tongue in, passing onto hers the small, compacted block of powder.

That night, Raito could not sleep.

No matter what he tried. Reading, a hot bath, late night mundane programmes. He was out of ideas and feeling particularly fed up.

He pushed the covers of his bedding down, past his bare waist.

It was too hot in his room.

He peered outside from where he sat, the moon now in view, un obscured by the clouds that previously resided before of it.

His mind once again wondered back to Ryuzaki.

Where was he right now?

The memory of earlier, of how harsh he had been, had slowly been eating away at him, wearing away at his conscious mind.

It had even allowed him to momentarily forget about the whole episode of yesterday…the whole reason for his reaction towards his friend earlier.

He sighed, kicking his legs out from beneath the duvet.

Maybe he owed Ryuzaki an explanation.

Not a full explanation.

Nobody would ever hear that.

But just a small explanation as to his actions yesterday, and to his behaviour today.

And then panic struck. He wouldn't see him for two whole days. It was the weekend starting tomorrow. For two more days, Ryuzaki would go on believing that Raito no longer liked him. And, what was worse, it probably wouldn't even matter to the man. He had copious friends at his disposal.

What would one, small, insignificant person matter to a guy like him?

Raito rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands and groaned.

I've ruined everything.

She entered through the back door of the house, not wishing to alert her parents to her return time by entering through the front.

She emerged into the kitchen, taking note of the large, wooden framed

clock suspended on the wall.

3:30 am.

Hanging her bag in the coat cupboard, she made sure to extract her phone before heading upstairs.

It was late, she was tired, she felt more than a little sick from the amount she had drank, but still she pressed in the button on the tower of her computer, the insides humming to life.

A dull glow bathed the room in an ambient blue as the programme started up.

It was so loud.

Silently, she willed it to be quiet, so not to wake any of her family.

Fishing around in her desk drawer, she extracted a usb wire, connected one end to her phone, and one to the usb port of her computer.

Slowly, quietly, she typed the relevant letters into the address bar and hit enter.

It took a few moments for the page to fully load up. Each second which passed seemed to exacerbate the fluttering of nerves she felt in her stomach.

Should she be doing this?

She eventually decided that it didn't matter whether she should be doing it or not. What mattered more was the betrayal.

It was bad enough the first time, but to do it again?

Unacceptable.

Flicking through the video files on her phone, she finally found the correct one. Dated that night, just a few hours earlier.

Options. Send. Home PC.

The small, pixelated hour glass filled and re filled over and over again until, finally, her video had uploaded.

She exhaled heavily.

Grabbing the mouse she clicked on the empty space bar until the cursor flashed intermittently, awaiting for her to enter a title.

Her fingers hovered above the keys, an internal debate over what she should name the piece.

Eventually, her muse struck.

Sliding the mouse down, she placed the white arrow over 'post'. It stayed there, sitting over the grey, 2D button as she built up her nerves, summoned the courage to do this.

Click.

Her hand froze.

She'd done it.

She stared, somewhat in disbelief, at the screen, her wide eyes highlighted by the monitor.

The handle to her bedroom door unexpectedly creaked as her mother

imposed herself upon her daughter, her face set into a frown. She jumped in shock, hurriedly clicking on the 'X' icon in the corner.

"Ukiko! What are you doing up at this hour?"

"Nothing, mum. I just had to email some important work to my tutor."

And with that, the door shut, leaving her in darkness as the monitor faded out.

Thank FRANK for this chapter (In case FRANK is just inside the UK, it is a drugs awareness campaign)

P.S. sometimes, where I have written RYU, spellcheck automatically changed it to RYUK (I should have never added it), so sorry if I missed any corrections, PLEASE DON'T GET CONFUSED. shudders at the image of writing about Ryuk kissing high school girls and doing ecstasy…actually, not shudder. Laugh hysterically


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9-Awakening

His head was thumping. The inside of his mouth dry, his tongue sticking to its roof . Ryuzaki opened his eyes just a crack.

Sunlight from the window streamed in, causing him to grunt in discomfort.

Where the hell was he?

He brought a hand up to shield his eyes as he opened them again, however, the effect wasn't as intense this time.

He was met with the scene of a completely dishevelled living room. Bottles lay strewn on the floor, enshrouded in tangled party streamers, poppers and crushed plastic cups. Cushions lay thrown unceremoniously across the room, amongst the fallen bodies of last nights party goers.

Carefully, he propped himself up onto his elbows, trying not to move his head too much. A weight slid down his chest.

Mildly startled, he looked down to find Yuki sprawled across him, her hair fanned out over his bare chest, her expression lost in a deep sleep.

Wait a minute…where was his shirt?

He brought his knuckles to his eyes and rubbed away the sleep, anxiety beginning to well inside him.

What, exactly, were the details of last night?

Carefully, he slipped his hands beneath the girls head and laid her gently to the floor, desperately trying not to wake her.

He was cold and needed to find his t shirt. But…he couldn't remember what he was wearing. And where would it be anyway?

Eventually getting to his feet, he raised his arms and stretched, his limbs shaking from the exertion and rotated his head, cracking out the stiff joints…when he noticed something which made him stop.

Lying, discarded, next to the girls unconscious figure, was a pair of lacy, black underwear...

Had…he slept with her? He frowned, groaning inside, berating himself for allowing it to happen.

But…the thing that frightened him most was that he couldn't even remember if they had done anything together…

Let alone in the living room.

It was 10:30 am, Raito was fully dressed in a crisp, blue shirt, beige chinos and white tennis shoes. This morning he had woken feeling somewhat rejuvenated, despite only having received a few hours of sleep.

He stood before the mirror, running a brush through his hair and carefully studied his reflection. His even features, neat, auburn hair, choice of clothing.

As he looked at himself, he awaited the feelings of apprehension to arise…

But they didn't. He felt...

Nothing.

Which was good. He was getting better.

Grabbing a light jacket from his cupboard, he trotted downstairs, slinging it over his shoulder in the process.

"Good morning, Raito!" His mother called, her smile bright.

She had been worried about her son since yesterday morning. His mood had noticeably plummeted, which could only mean the onset of an attack…

Just when she thought things had been going so well. He had started at a new school with no complaints, and even managed to make a friend.

To her, that was all she had wanted for him.

"Morning." He smiled at her as he made his way into the kitchen to pour himself a drink of orange juice.

She found herself halt halfway through the washing up, just watching him. Her face set into one of concern.

He turned, apparantly sensing something.

"Are you ok?" He asked, mildly perturbed by her expression.

Her eyes widened in realization, withdrawing her hands from the sink, not having noticed that the water had soaked up to her sleeves.

"Yes, sorry, Raito. Are you feeling better today?" She guarded her words.

"Yes. In fact, I feel quite good after that day of rest." He took a sip of juice and gave her a small smile.

He didn't want to worry his mother. Not anymore than he had in the past.

"Really?" She asked, raising her eyebrow. She had not meant to come across as so questioning. Instantly, she regretted countering his statement.

"Yeah, I'm fine." His smile grew.

Internally, she sighed.

"Anyway," He said, placing his glass on the kitchen counter with a hard clack. "I'm going out for the morning. I expect to be back about four."

Plunging her hands back into the soapy water, she nodded, wishing him a good time in whatever it was he was doing.

Opening the front door, he stepped out into the world, allowing the bright sun and cool breeze to envelope him.

He'd made his way into the bathroom, the house still and quiet, having managed to get there without coming across anyone else.

Good.

He didn't feel like facing anybody at the moment…Not until he was clear on things.

Reaching into his trousers, he was relieved to find his phone still there.

Punching in his home number, he pressed the phone to his ear. He pressed it so hard, each ring lengthening in duration, that he didn't even notice until it started to burn from the pressure.

Sliding down against the door, his bottom hit the ground with a small thud.

"Pick up pick up pick up," He whispered, rubbing his eye with the heel of his free hand.

"Good morning, Lawliet residence."

"Ohthankgod."

The sun was directly above him, warming Raito's auburn hair, enveloping his body in a sense of wellbeing.

He was only a couple of minutes away from the library now. It was almost a shame to be spending such a nice day hidden in the shelter of the large building, but he had to catch up on the work he had missed out on yesterday.

He had made sure, upon his mother ringing in to discuss his absence, to receive a full account of that days work so that he would not fall behind.

Shrugging his bag further up his shoulder, he entered through the already open, large, wooden doors of the old building. The smell of books instantly soothed him. Well read, well worn and old.

A short trip into town would take Raito to the modern library; new building, more up to date books, the latest computers… but it just didn't have that atmosphere. It was all too aesthetic and often crowded. This place provided privacy, and it was just what a library was meant to be to him.

Nodding a silent hello to the librarian behind the desk, he walked over to the far end passing row after row of tall wooden bookshelves, crammed with plastic covered novels, encyclopaedias and journals, calmly taking in the scent of their worn covers.

Reaching his desired shelf, he ran an index fingers over the spines, trying to find the correct text book. Three rows down, he found it, slid it out from its tight slot between two other works, and seated himself down at the long, wooden table in the centre of the library, devoid of anyone but him.

Flicking through the pages, he scanned the tightly packed text locating the desired paragraph. The sun shone bright through the tall windows, illuminating his page to a stark white. He squinted, the text becoming hard to read in such conditions.

It had been an hour since he had arrived, various people filing in and out, the place never really becoming occupied by more than ten people at a time, and he had made four pages of notes. More than enough. He felt it was about time to wrap things up, and head home…when a slight tap on the shoulder made him stop.

Who..?

He turned, a questioning expression played out across his features…

And for some reason, felt disappointment.

A young girl, around 16 or 17, stood before him, her hands clasped coyly in front of her, avoiding eye contact.

"Excuse me…" She began, quietly. A small blush threatening to grace her cheeks.

"…yes?" Raito asked, appearing rather unapproachable due to his slight fluttering of nerves.

"That book…"She pointed towards it, grasped in his hand. "It was the one I was looking for. May I use it after you?"

His words caught in his throat, his mind still not quite clear after the confusion he had just met with.

"Uh…yeah…sure. Sorry" Ignoring her outstretched hand, he placed the book back on the table with a heavy thud, shouldered his bag and left.

He had honestly expected to turn around and find Ryuzaki standing there, smiling broadly as their eyes met.

Splashing cold water over his face, Ryuzaki checked his reflection in the bathroom mirror.

He. Looked. Awful.

His dark eyes rimmed with heavy shadows, his skin appearing thin and sallow, his hair flat. But still, he felt worse inside.

What had happened?…What had he done last night? Clearly, he remembered taking pills…which he already severely regretted…but…after that?

Checking his watch, he realized Watari should be arriving any minute.

His fingers poised on the lock, he took a deep breath and turned it.

As he reached the top of the landing, he could hear the front door bang shut as somebody left. He wasn't sure who it was, nor did he care. He just wanted to get out.

The bright sunlight stung his eyes, his hand instantly reaching up to shield them, just as he saw Watari turn the corner in the Roll's.

Relief flooded through him making his legs grow weak.

Climbing in the back, he kicked off his shoes, tucked his legs up beneath him and rested his head against the leather seats, shutting his eyes.

Never had he once in his life wanted to hide like he did right now.

"Did you have a good night, Ryuzaki?" Watari's calm voice floated over from the front.

Ryuzaki stopped, looked towards the back of the mans greying head, and opened his dry lips, ready to answer.

"I'm tired, Watari. Can we talk later?"

"Certainly, sir."

The motion of the car rocked through his tired body, inducing the sensation that he was about to be sick.

"Raito, you're back!" Sayu hoped up from the chair in the living room, the TV playing one of her favourite dramas.

He smiled at her as she bounded towards him.

"Where have you been? Out with Ryuzaki?" Her eyes barely concealed the glee as she spoke his name.

His heart lurched in his chest, his stomach turning over with nerves, perhaps? Apprehension?

"No. I went to the library to catch up with work.

"Oh." Her shoulders sagged. "When is he next coming over?"

"I'm not sure," He said, removing his shoes and heading for the stairs. "You're too young for him anyway."

As he reached his bedroom door, his sisters high pitched yell reached his ears.

"What was that meant to mean? And I am NOT!"

"Ryuzaki, would you like me to bring you anything?"

His bare feet stopped on the bottom step as he turned.

"No thank you, Watari. I'll be down later."

The old man nodded before heading into the pantry.

As he entered his bedroom, he was about to flop down onto the bed when he noticed the light for his computer monitor flashing. He must have forgotten to turn it off before he left yesterday.

Wiggling the mouse the screen saver flicked off, presenting him with his AkihoYoshizawa wallpaper. Just before hitting 'shut down' he decided to

check his emails.

10 new. Mainly junk.

Scrolling down, he noticed an unfamiliar email address. Not spam.

The cursor hovered over the address and he clicked once, the text inverting to white as he did so.

All that was there was a single link. Unadorned with an explanation.

He frowned, his forehead creasing.

A new window popped up, the URL filling in the address bar, the screen loading, a black window with a timer counting away in the centre, counting away until the video began to play, began to play slightly pixelated scenes which momentarily appeared quite familiar…

"What the FUCK."

He had to play it three times through before he could fully grasp what he was seeing. And hearing.

He grabbed the mouse as the thought suddenly struck him, it shooting out of his hand with the force. Snatching it from the carpet he slammed it back down on the desk and frantically flicked the scroll wheel down, the page flying past the comments.

He stopped, breathed, and steadied himself. Scrolling up carefully, his eyes did a quick scan of the comments displayed before slowly reading them and taking them in.

_'WTF? What's up with this guy? He on drugs?'_

_'OMG 1.27, getting naked love it XD Hot!'_

_'Whats he sayin at 2.54? Cant hear even at full volume :\.'_

_'Reply to comment; sounds like light? I think its light? Could be English. Although doesn't make sense.'_

_'Reply to comment; From what I can hear its someone's name. He says 'Where's Light?' Although COULD be 'wheres the light?' as is really dark in there. Edit. He is sayin 'where's Light? I want light. You're hot (to girl he with) but not as hot as light. You don't get many pretty guys like him. I wanna kiss him to tell you the truth. But he wouldn't haha. Actually, not wouldn't, didn't!Man I love that guy.' and then he sorter wimpers 'would sooo do him.' OMG GAY LMFAO'_

His hand was shaking as he moved the cursor to the 'X', his finger slipping twice as he attempted to click off of the screen.

"Fuck…ing hell…"

He could barely swallow, his throat still dry from last night.

His mind raced with the consequences of this discovery. One thought continuously presenting itself as the forerunner of his problems…

Not what it would do to his reputation…

Not what his friends would do to him…

But what Raito would think if he were to find this.

The sun was beginning to set and the sky had turned that translucent orange, gently tinted clouds streaming across the length of the horizon. Raito opened the back door and stepped out into the Western style garden and onto the cool grass. The cold blades cooling down his feet through his socks.

He was feeling too stifled inside. He needed to sit completely alone and collect his thoughts. The other night had been an eye opener…

But not in conjunction with Ryuzaki's feelings…that seemed apparent to Raito that that was just a drunken mistake, something done on impulse. Something Ryuzaki was just used to doing…only usually with girls.

No, what Raito was now aware of, was his own feelings.

He was becoming tired. Very tired of this anxiety he was feeling. This nagging feeling at the back of his mind, always there. Even on days where he was 'fine'. And now that this had happened, he realized more than ever that he wanted to be free of it.

Initially, he had been angry with the boy, pulling a stunt like that, but when he had gotten home and cleared his mind, Raito had realized how was he meant to know what had happened?

How was Ryuzaki meant to know that all those years ago, something similar, yet at the same time oh so different, had…

The back door swung open, Sayu skipping outside.

"Raito! Visitor!" She sang, her cheeks red and face exuberant. Usually the expression she acquired when she had just seen Ryuga Hideki on TV.

He looked up, his eyebrows knitted together.

Sayu turned round to head back inside, but was stopped in her tracks when she discovered Ryuzaki standing right behind her.

"S…sorry." she said, looking up, her eyes wide.

Slowly, he smiled. Almost as if he could barely summon the energy.

"S'ok, kid', he said, patting her on the head. He moved out of the way to allow her to step inside.

After standing there for a few more moments, staring up at him, she reluctantly headed inside, looking back at least three times on her way to the living room.

Raito abruptly stood, suddenly feeling somewhat uncomfortable, suddenly feeling that the back garden was far too small.

Ryuzaki didn't make to come any closer. He looked at Raito, his lips pulled into a small smile, still lingering from the one he had given Sayu.

"Ryuzaki, let's go for a walk."

He opened his mouth, stopped, and the nodded.

Once again, they were sat at the bench of the park they had visited on their first night out together. The night when they had headed back to Ryuzaki's, and…

Raito banished the thought, forcing himself to not work his nerves into a frenzy. He was going to be calm.

Calm and composed.

And apologize for his rude behaviour the day previous.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry."

They both stopped and looked at each other, taken aback by their simultaneous apologies.

They both made to speak again but stopped, Raito motioning for Ryuzaki to continue.

His elbows on knees, face in hands, he looked forward, out towards the grassy enclosure of the park, occupied only by them as the shadows began to cast themselves across the apparatus.

"For…what I did. Thursday…night…" He mumbled, his words trailing off as he discovered that this was so much harder than he had imagined.

Raito scuffed his shoe against the dirt ground surrounding the bench legs. Usually, he would never dirty a pair of clean tennis shoes, but it was one of his idiosyncrasies displaying his moments of awkwardness.

"I'm sorry for being rude…yesterday. You came to see if I was ok…and I was…brusque." He didn't know how else to put it. He was just glad that his friend was here, sitting beside him.

He couldn't quite explain the joy he felt, or why he felt it, but he just supposed it was what friendships were.

A shy smile pulled at one side of Ryuzaki's mouth, his eyes creasing slightly.

Raito had never seen the boy look so modest. His stomach turned over.

He had no idea why.

"Missed ya."

He brushed the auburn strings of hair away from his eye, attempting to hide the blush coming to his cheeks.

"It's only been a day."

"And a half."

Raito nodded, laughing slightly. "Yes. And a half."

There was silence for a moment as Ryuzaki stared forward. His thought process was almost tangible. The atmosphere grew heavy as he his juggled thoughts in his head.

"I know…I know you probably never wanna touch me again. But do me one thing." He looked up, just to make sure Raito was listening. "Give me a hug. I want to know, if you've chosen to be my friend, that you'll take me for me, good sides and bad sides."

Raito's eyes widened. He was taken aback by the unexpected comment.

"Just a hug. To know you accept me."

Raito looked down at his feet, and eventually lifted his shoulders. "Ok then."

Both waited.

"You have to instigate it…" Ryuzaki eventually said.

"Ryuzaki, please, just…"

"Oh, I knew it was too much to ask," He said, flinging his arms around the boy. He dragged the tense body over to his side of the bench, his arms squeezing tight as he held the slight frame. The warmth felt good. All he was wearing was a thin t shirt, having not anticipated the cool night air.

He buried his face into the side of the boys neck, where it curved out to meet his shoulder.

He could tell that his auburn hair had just been washed. He breathed in the scent, almost intoxicated.

Letting go, Raito sat back.

Nothing.

No nerves.

No attack.

Nothing.

Well…maybe not nothing.

He looked at the boy sitting close next to him, his obsidian hair sweeping over his dark eyes, his pale skin luminescent in the light of the setting sun. And he felt a warm feeling of belonging.

He couldn't help but break out into a smile…

"Raito."

And with that sudden change in intonation, the feeling vanished.

His heart clenched in his chest.

"What?"

Reaching into the pocket of his cargo trousers, he extracted a pure white stick and rested it in between his pale lips. The other hand brought out a disposable lighter.

"What happened?"

Raito's hands stopped on the way down to his lap, his expression frozen in confusion.

"Please. Tell me what happened to you."

He didn't realize. Not until it trailed onto his lips and he could taste the salt. The warm sensation running the length of his cheek. And his eyes began to stung.

Strong arms enveloped his body as soon as the boy noticed, pulling the figure into him, a pallid hand running through red hair, lips resting on the top of his head as words were whispered to him.

"What happened to you, baby?"

I know Raito's all broken etc etc but I really need to get their 'relationship' goin! So sorry if this is unrealistic due to Raito's nervous disposition. But it's a story. SO ENJOY IT! XD


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10. Unravel.

"Please don't cry. Or I will too…"

They sat in silence, except for the rustling of the dark leaves waving in the shadows. Ryuzaki's hand holding onto Raito's tightly, his thumb caressing the other's.

Raito didn't make a sound. No indication in his actions as to the warm tears trailing down his cheeks, following the curve of his chin and onto Ryuzaki's shoulder, dampening the thin T shirt which barely concealed the warmth.

"Please, Raito. Will you talk to me?"

Pushing him gently back by his shoulders, Ryuzaki ran his thumb down the boys cheeks, wiping away the damp trail. Shining hazel eyes looking just past him.

His face emotionless.

Ryuzaki was scared. He was scared that he wasn't dealing with this properly. He had never been met with such a situation.

…His usual friends were emotionless idiots. He had no experience.

And he had only just realized.

Raito's lips held the dullest of shines as tiny quivers moved them almost unnoticeably. But still no attempt to talk.

Without warning, Ryuzaki stood up, his hands still holding Raito's, refusing to let go.

"I can't have you sitting in a park, crying. You're coming with me." His voice was stern, letting the other boy know that his word was final…

…and he hoped to God that he was dealing with this in the best way possible.

Not only did he have to cope with a situation he had never been confronted with before…he had to work through it blindly. He had no idea what it even was that was affecting the boy to such a degree.

And somehow, he found himself, to his own surprise, not regretting having asked.

As if absently following orders, Raito stood. Not saying a word.

Ryuzaki had anticipated some form of resistance…but at least this way was easier.

If they were to do this, they needed to get away from the world. Be somewhere that only consisted of them.

He knew they had been walking for some time, but it felt like the minutes and seconds had stood still ever since they rose from their seat in the park. His senses had been dulled, his presence seemingly elsewhere.

Ryuzaki was leading him to a place he had never been before. But even if that statement where the opposite, he would know no better at this moment in time.

A metallic jingling rang out and eventually reached Raito's ears. And then the sound of metal sliding against metal, and a dull click.

A cold hand once again slipped into his, gripping tight, fingers entwining…and then suddenly he was in warmth. Their surroundings plunged into darkness…

Until an abrupt flick sounded from somewhere to his right and a strong, artificial light consumed them.

Raito blinked once. Twice. Then rubbed at his damp eyes. The realization that he was in what was clearly a house suddenly hit him.

He barely remembered the journey.

Ryuzaki appeared before him, his hands clamped round his upper arms as he lead him into a sitting room, speaking quietly to him in English, nodding continuously as if to induce some form of positive feelings.

…why was he speaking in English?

He could understand English anyway but still.

The teens hands gently forced him down, so that he was now seated upon a large, consuming sofa. Ryuzaki put up his palms, motioning for the boy to stay there, and continued to speak in English.

He then disappeared for a few moments.

Where was he? He took in his surroundings with glazed eyes. Western house. That was all he could think. Modest.

A cold glass was pressed into his hands, his fingers being closed around it by the other boys.

He took a sip without even meaning to.

His throat eased up.

He coughed.

And then took another sip.

Ryuzaki sighed internally. He had gotten him to a safe place with little coercion. He seemed to be complying with whatever he suggested.

Good…

Or was it bad?

This wasn't like Raito…

But he would work on that.

He watched as the boys hands mechanically brought the glass to his lips, take a short sip, lower the glass and then repeat the process.

Ryuzaki made to sit down, stopped, stood straight, walked over to the chair, made to sit, stopped, stood up, looked towards the kitchen door and then approached Raito.

"Can I sit here, please?" He motioned towards the empty space next to the boy. "If you don't…" Ryuzaki stopped. "I've been speaking in English this whole time. I'm sorry."

He silently berated himself for confusing the poor boy. Raito's blank stare conveyed that he wasn't exactly effected, however.

"I'll start again." He said, switching back to Japanese. "May I sit here, please, Raito?"

The glass came to his lips, and then lowered, the rosy flesh appearing soft and dewy after having met with the water once again. He nodded.

Kicking off his shoes, Ryuzaki placed himself next to his friend, tucking his legs up beneath him. And then shifting to the left so that he could release his feet and bring his knees up. His hands rested upon the dark blue thread of his jeans.

"Where are we?"

His dark eyes flicked over in surprise. He had not expected to progress to speech for at least another half hour.

Still, there was no eye contact. The hazel orbs were directed to a position in front of the two, somewhere around the marble effect fire place.

"My 'second home', if you will." He spoke light heartedly, trying his best not to sound conceited.

Raito blinked. Possibly a sign of his mild surprise.

"Ever since we moved to Japan when I was five, we have had this place. I didn't wanna leave England… But more than that…I didn't wanna live with my parents.." His fingers began to unconsciously toy with the material stretched over his knees.

Raito brought the glass to his lips, only to find that it was empty.

"I…oh, do you want another one?"

He shook his head. One simple movement.

Ryuzaki continued to study the empty glass. He had gotten off topic without even meaning to.

"You don't wanna hear about my life story," He laughed. "We're here so you can relax."

Raito leaned forward and placed the glass on the wooden coffee table.

"Tell me more." He said.

The other boy nodded, reverting his gaze back to his friend.

"Ok, bud, whatever you want." A smile graced his lips. "Anyhow, I didn't wanna live with my parents, 'cause, well, I rarely ever saw them. Nine times outta ten I was with my Grandma. My dad had his own law firm, and my mum ran her own business producing goods for around the house. Cleaning materials, that sorta stuff. They were pretty much always at work. And then one day, I'm told that we're leaving the country, my Gran was staying behind and that I wouldn't be living with her anymore. It…I guess it tore me apart. She was more of a mum than mine ever was."

He stopped to clear his throat and make sure that Raito hadn't grown disinterested.

Hazel eyes were locked onto black. His expression had altered from neutral to one conveying slight sympathy.

A lump rose in Ryuzaki's throat. He swallowed and looked away.

"So yeah. I kicked and screamed and caused one hell of a fuss. I screamed for my Gran to come with us, but she couldn't. And when we got to Japan, I refused to leave the house. My room, even. And then one day, my dad knocks on the door and tells me I have to come out with him. I put up a fight, but, being five and all, he picked me up, carried me downstairs and put me in the car. And then we pulled up outside this small house. We get out, he pulls the keys out of his pocket, and lets us in." He scratched absently at the back of his neck, his black hair tangling slightly in his pale fingers.

Raito hadn't even realized, but he was holding his breath.

"I step inside, and there I was. Suddenly back in England, in my Gran's house. Everything almost exactly the same. The furniture, even the layout similar. It was the closest thing my Dad had ever shown me to prove he was a parent. Still, even thought we were in a different country, their work patterns didn't change. And that's where Watari stepped in. They hired an English butler, who doubled as my carer. Dad said I could come here whenever, I wanted, that all I had to do was ask. But the only time he ever came with me was that first time. The rest was with Watari."

Ryuzaki stood the second he had finished talking, grabbed the glass from the table and mumbled something about getting more water.

For just a moment, Raito was able to glimpse into Ryuzaki's past. His history. What it was that made him who he is today.

For the first time, he felt he understood the boy just a bit better.

And then he realized his heart rate had slowed back down, his breathing more normal and his eyes were dry.

The sound of gushing water emitted from the kitchen, which gradually rose in pitch as the glass was being filled. Ryuzaki soon appeared and placed it down in front of him.

"There you go, Raito, I know you're too polite to ask for one."

Somehow, despite the fact he has just shared what was clearly a painful memory, his eyes were still bright.

And he couldn't help but marvel at where this boy drew his unwavering strength from.

"…What's wrong? You're looking at me funny. Makin' me blush, man." Ryuzaki pretended to shy away bashfully, grabbing a cushion and putting it up to his face.

"Am I? Sorry…I just…I'm happy you shared that with me."

A heavy silence descended. Raito nervously reached for his glass, thankful there was something to occupy his hands with.

Clearly Ryuzaki was on the same wave length, reaching for his near empty pack of cigarettes.

"Did I make you feel better?" He eventually asked, a plume of smoke escaping as his lips parted.

"In a sense."

The black haired teen cocked an eyebrow.

"I mean…let's just say you took my mind off things."

He formed a silent 'O' of understanding.

"So," He said, crushing out his cigarette in the imitation crystal ashtray. "Would you like to talk to me...about earlier?"

Ryuzaki tensed, awaiting the mood to plummet.

Raito pursed his lips, a slight inclination of his head, before his said. "I don't think I can."

"Ok…" He whispered to himself more than to his friend. And then a thought struck him. "Hey, maybe I could…guess? If I come close, all you have to do is nod."

His dark eyes studied Raito, trying to make sure he was not pushing things.

"You'll never guess."

And Raito sincerely meant those words.

Ryuzaki was taken aback, unable to shift the ominous feeling that those three words brought with them. He shut his eyes and shook it off.

"Does that mean I can try?"

The boys shoulders lifted before he answered. "You can try."

"Ok…" He took a deep breath, wondering how on earth he could word this.

"Ok, please don't be angry, the only reason I'm thinking this is because of what happened on Thursday…you know, when I was a total prick back at mine.."

Raito nodded firmly, slightly throwing Ryuzaki.

"Ok…I…Raito, has someone assaulted you…."

Hazel eyes darted up.

"…Sexually…"

He stared in silence, his mouth refusing to cooperate with his mind. Ryuzaki's expression was unfaltering. His deep eyes fixed onto his, not moving.

"Please, I don't mean any offence." The softly spoken words just reached him.

He was still mildly stunned. It wasn't that Ryuzaki was entirely correct.

Once again he reached for the glass, and once again found it empty.

It was just that he realized he _was_ uncomfortable with him trying to guess. He was stupid for even thinking he could take it.

Ryuzaki jumped up from his seat and started towards the kitchen "I'll get you another."

And then he found his voice.

"No." It came out louder than he had intended.

Ryuzaki stopped dead, and turned, his eyes wide. He nodded silently and carefully sat back down.

"Can I just ask?" He started slowly, quietly. "What gave you that idea?"

"Well…your reaction, I guess…"

"Ryuzaki…how well do you think most guys take being kissed by another male?"

"Straight men? I don't have much experience to go on….don't say anything….but I'm guessing not well. But, Raito, you totally freaked. I found you passed out. And then you would barely speak to me…"

Raito's eyes revealed nothing, his gaze settling once again upon the fire place and its array of china ornaments.

"Do you want to know what made me 'freak out' about that more than any other reason?"

Ryuzaki nodded, before realizing that his friends vision was directed elsewhere. "Yes, if you'd tell me."

Sliding the empty glass in and out of his hands, Raito looked towards his lap, before quickly glancing at the other teenager.

"I freaked out…because I couldn't stop myself from enjoying it."

Ryuzaki wasn't sure he had heard right. He stared at the boy, his eyebrows knitted together in a deep frown, his lips parted with an unspoken reply.

"I…I don't understand."

Raito's shoulders sagged, the glass helplessly rolling out of his hand and onto the padded seat of the sofa.

"I just want to make it clear now. I do not have any qualms about being in close contact with another human being. I have not been sexually abused. But… certain situations, certain things…things which take me by surprise and startle me, can…trigger attacks. Ryuzaki, something happened in my past. You already know that, you're a smart guy and I cannot deny that. But you clearly have no idea what it is. If something happens to me which serves as a reminder…I…" He stopped, apparantly emotionally exhausted.

His cheeks were red and his face wearing an expression of utter torment. But his eyes were dry.

"Raito, you can stop now." He tentatively reached out, hesitated, and then placed a hand on the boy's shoulder.

A warm hand reached out to meet his pale one, and rested upon it.

"…So…at least now we're clear on the other night."

Ryuzaki hesitated, and then slowly nodded in agreement.

"Raito?" He whispered, brushing the boys hair behind his ear. "Do you have feelings for me?"

He could barely believe he was asking this question. He almost felt sick awaiting the response. But after that confession, how could he not ask?

Shaking his head to free his hair from behind his ear, he propped his chin up in his hand and looked to the floor.

"I don't know."

He awaited for those words to hit him with some sort of impact. But nothing happened…Then again, they were rather neutral in their meaning. What was he supposed to make out of that? 'I don't know?' He either did or he didn't…

"You don't know…well, what if I were to say to you…Raito. You know, hell, everyone knows, I've been with a lot of women…

"How can we not know," Raito interjected, rather sardonically.

Ignoring the statement, he continued. "But none of those girls did anything for me. You know? They were just a way for me to ease tension, so to speak. Couldn't wait to get them out of bed the next day.

"But now, I can't wait to get out of bed just so I can see you."

Raito's head shot up, confusion stamped across his face.

"Look, I'm not saying I love you. Heh. Gimme time…not that…oh god, I'm really shitting this up here." He began to tap his fingers rapidly against the table top, searching for the right words, and biting his lip. His eyes darted round the room as if a script would suddenly present itself before him. "Look. I like you. We connect. I think you're amazing. And , somehow, I think my feelings got a little mixed up. 'cause I'm not meant to feel the way I do about you. But I do. And I can't help it."

It felt as though his heart might burst in his chest. For all the time it took for Raito to finally come up with a response.

"As I said, Ryuzaki. I don't know if I 'like you'. But all I can say is, I can't get you out of my head."

He had just poured his heart out.

And now, for the first time in his life, he felt as though he was being rejected by a potential lover.

But it wasn't if he thought of Raito as a potential lover. Yet somehow, the feelings that were stirring inside him were telling him that's what this was.

He had feelings for Raito.

Fuck, he wanted him.

And this was the first time he consciously put it into words in his head.

"You're killin' me here, man." Was all he could say. "What right do you have, swaning into my life, looking all gorgeous, then blowin me off like this?" Why did he always have to make everything into a joke. This time, however, he wasn't laughing.

"Blow you off?" Raito frowned, his expression incredulous. "Ryuzaki, have you been listening? I enjoyed what happened between us on Thursday. Remember that before you came to get me that night? I wouldn't talk to you? And why was that? I saw you in that class, feeling up some girl. That's not a normal reaction for a friend to have. I was jealous, ok? It's one thing knowing what you get up to, Ryuzaki, but actually seeing it?" As he spoke, his words became more heated, his voice raising, his heart beating faster.

A cold hand grabbed for his and clenched it tightly.

"Shh, shh, calm down, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please, I don't want you to have a panic attack."

Raito's chest wass rising and falling rapidly, and he hadn't even noticed.

Breath In, out, in, out, in, out, iiiiin, ooooout. Iiiiiin, ooout.

"Raito. Listen to me. Breath In, out, in, out, in, out."

As he took one more deep breath, he couldn't help but expel it in a gasp of laughter.

"You don't need to give me a demonstration. I understand simple instructions."

He wasn't sure if he would ever understand the boy he was currently facing. One minute he's almost having a panic attack because he's not sure whether he has feelings for you or not, and then next he's laughing. At something that's not even funny.

Somehow, he found it contagious. Laughter involuntarily escaped from his throat. It was either that or start crying with frustration.

"Are we all weird now?" He said, once he had reclaimed his breath.

Raito frowned, not quite understanding.

"I mean, are we gonna be all weird with each other. I mean, fuck, this is one of the strangest new friendships I've ever witnessed . I just hope I haven't ruined it."

Raito shook his head, his eyes wide in disbelief.

"You still don't get it do you?"

It was now Ryuzaki's turn to be confused. Especially when he saw the boy move down the sofa, so that they were almost touching. And even more so when those hands he had been dying to hold came out and caressed his face. And those lips, the ones he hadn't been able to get out of his head, hesitantly moved closer, and parted, and took his into their pink skin. And mostly by the fact that they stayed like that for five whole minutes, without either of them breaking it off in a startled display of shock and protest.

He told himself not to, because he wasn't quite sure if he was experiencing things correctly, but he could not stop his fingers from dancing across the skin just beneath the shirt of the boy he was encased in the kiss of. Stroking and kneading and massaging and wanting. And he found himself pushing his friend back, down onto the sofa, so that he was lying on top of him, their bodies connected, his fingers interlocked with the boys with their tongues continuing to glide over eachothers.

He wanted to feel every part of his body. Every inch of that tanned skin that was always so modestly concealed, and just made all the more tempting.

But neither of them undressed. Neither of them pushed boundaries. They just lost themselves in each other.

Raito couldn't quite believe it.

He hadn't even been totally sure if that's what he had wanted. Despite all of those nagging feelings he had harboured, the ones he had fobbed off as normal due to inexperience.

This time it had been different. Ryuzaki had been sober, clear headed, had opened up, had shown his feelings….had made him feel completely at ease.

This time, when he was being presented with the boys unorthodox feelings towards him, and when he was being touched by him, he was not reminded. Old scars had not been opened. His mind had been clear. Because it had been oh so heart felt. And tender. And truthful. Nothing threatening. And false. Nothing which bred unpleasant thoughts in his head, borne from old memories which he tried so desperately to bury.

For once, he was able to forget the memory of those glazed over eyes which had once stared up at him with no life in them. And forget how he had run away. And how he had almost slipped in the pool of red as he ran.

He had achieved one night of peace.

He pulled at the blanket which had began to slip off of their collapsed forms from where they had both fallen asleep on the sofa, and kissed Ryuzaki on the forehead, before he too joined him once again in slumber.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11.-Discovery.

"Hey, Raito?" Ryuzaki leaned on the door frame of the small bathroom, his shirtless figure illuminated by the bright morning light streaming in through the window.

"Yeah?" Raito replied as he splashed his face with cold water, studying his friend via the mirror, who's dark rimmed eyes were concentrating on a space in the distance.

"What do you want to do today?"

Grabbing a hand towel from the titanium rail, Raito rubbed his face dry, feeling somewhat rejuvenated.

"I need to head home at some point, Ryuzaki." Placing the damp towel back over the bar, he walked towards the door. Ryuzaki didn't budge.

Placing a hand on the boys hip, he flashed him his teeth in a mischievous grin. "I wanna take you out."

Raito had placed himself in the back seat of the Roll's with a feeling of uncertainty. He wasn't sure where Ryuzaki was taking him, he wasn't sure how the other boy viewed this outing; whether it was a date? Or just a general day out?

He hoped deep down that it wasn't the former. He was no where near ready for such a thing. However, he didn't have the right to protest, not after last night. Especially after he had instigated the kiss…

…Which he still could not quite believe.

Him, Yagami Raito, the quietest student, the boy who merged into the background, never spoke to anybody… instigated a kiss, with the most sought after male in school.

He took a deep breath and shut his eyes for a moment, basking in the comforting darkness.

Lingering memories of the moment their lips met continually replayed in his head whenever he had a moment of silence. He couldn't help it. The way it had made his stomach turn over, his heart beat faster, his fingers and toes tingle when that beautiful face was connected with his, dark lids closed, lips parted, tongue sliding over his own, fingers kneading at his skin…

His eyes shot open, suddenly realizing how far his thoughts had wondered, and discovered those deep eyes he was just fantasising about staring at him. Kohl rimmed, round eyes, wide open and concentrating solely on him.

"Ryuzaki?" He said, his face pulled into a frown.

"Yes, baby?" He whispered, unable to stop himself from smiling.

"Did you bring your makeup bag with you or something..?"

The dark haired teen raised a cynical eyebrow, lips poised with a retort, before he realized. Raito was making a joke. Something which, at the start of last night, Ryuzaki would have never thought possible.

"Well, Right-O, there was already some at the house." Sliding his hand along the leather upholstery, he placed his fingers over Raito's, his thumb toying with the other boys. "And I must say, it is lovely to hear you sounding so light hearted."

The journey continued, Raito still none the wiser as to their destination. He rested his warm forehead upon the cold glass of the blacked out window, unable to see the scenery which was currently speeding past, blurring together as one long stream.

As he positioned himself to sit up straight once more, a gentle touch landing upon his neck halted him, the nerve endings in his skin electrified with the unexpected sensation. Tingles ran the length of his spine. Hot breath graced just behind his ear. A warm, wet flick upon his lobe. Teeth nibbling at the flesh just beneath his jaw bone and then a lucid transition to his throat as lips began to suck.

His whole body suddenly alive with these intense feelings.

His cheeks instantly heated, forcing him to press his face back up against the glass, his throat croaking as he bit back a groan. His fingers curled around the material of his trousers, as the dark haired teen sucked harder, pushing himself further against the boy, hand slipping down thigh, gripping tight, his groin grinding up against the others, the feeling of something hard between his legs pressing intrusively upon the auburn boys being…

…which made everything about this situation suddenly seem all too real.

"St…stop." He panted, his eyes opening unwillingly, his cheeks leaving translucent clouds of condensation against the cool panes.

"Why..?" The dark haired boy breathed heavily, hips moving rhythmically, slowly, tantalizingly against concealed flesh. Dragging his erection up and down the submissive teen…

"Stop!" His eyes shut, his head collapsed back against the seat. He was short of breath, yet he hadn't even been moving.

The grip on his thigh loosened reluctantly and came to his face as a gentle stroke.

"I'm sorry…I got a bit carried away."

Ryuzaki sat himself back over on his side of the seat, knees bent up, bringing him into his habitual crow esque position…before realizing that his current state called for a more normal stance.

"What can I say, Raito. You just fuckin do it for me." His lips formed a lopsided grin which in turn creased his dark eyes, as he lowered his bare feet to the floor.

"Just….not yet. Please." Raito's features dusted with pink, he ran his hands down his face to try and calm down.

"This…is where you wanted to take me?"

Stumbling out of the car whilst attempting to jam his un-socked feet into a pair of sneakers, Ryuzaki beamed.

"Yep!"

Raito, scanning his, slightly unacceptable, surroundings, raised an eyebrow.

"What?" Ryuzaki threw up his hands indignantly, before slapping the car on the hood and waving Watari off.

The boy sighed, his shoulders sloping somewhat. "I'm just not sure whether an amusement park full of this many people is the right place for me."

Ryuzaki stepped forward, the grass folding beneath his black converse, and made to place a hand on Raito's shoulder, before hesitating and quickly putting it back by his side.

"Babe, you're with me. You'll be fine."

Somehow, Raito didn't feel quite the same on the matter.

The wide expanse of field which was traditionally empty, with nothing to obscure it's flawless views of the city in the distant landscape, was now overcrowded with families, young couples and teenagers, holding hands, chatting exuberantly and crying out jovially as they milled around the stools, played games and queued up for the rides which towered high above the crowds of people.

It was overwhelming.

It was all too overwhelming.

Too many people. Masses of them. And the worst part was, there was no where to get away. Raito could feel his heart rate begin to increase. He took a deep breath and told himself not to over react. Don't over react. You are with Ryuzaki. There is nothing to be afraid of. You are safe.

And then a small brick building tucked away behind the Ferris wheel caught his eye and opportunity struck.

Ryuzaki, shifting his feet uncomfortably in his restrictive sneaker's, was just about to step forward after eyeing the reasonably short queue for the rollercoaster, when a gentle touch landed upon his forearm, halting him.

"Ryuzaki, I am just heading to the rest room." Raito spoke quietly, his head down.

"Ok, man, want me to wait here?"

"You go ahead." He said quickly, his feet itching to move, his head screaming at him to hide.

"Ok, Right-o, I'll just be over there. I'll get us a couple of drinks."

Ryuzaki pointed over towards the refreshments counter, as Raito bowed his head and headed over towards the non descript brick structure and ducked in, basking in the sheltered protection of the building.

He hurriedly locked himself into one of the grubby cubicles, the paint peeled with age and the hinges rusted with wear. Sitting upon the ceramic bowl, he placed his head in his hands and breathed slowly, purposely ignoring his more than unsanitary surroundings.

A lot had happened in twenty four hours.

A lot…

He had once again made it up with Ryuzaki, which had somehow led on to them sharing a kiss and a night together in the boys other house, whilst simultaneously crossing the boundaries of friendship, and now here they were, on what looked like a date, in a crowded amusement park. And all of this in his first week of school.

A groaning, metallic creak resounded throughout the empty cubicles, followed by dull footsteps. The dry sound of someone clearing their throat before unlinking their flies, preparing themselves to use the urinal.

Raito didn't know why, but he found himself holding his breath, willing his presence to go unknown, forcing himself to fade into nothingness.

The sharp, trickling noise of liquid hitting ceramic abruptly halted, another cough and the sound of flies being linked back up again. The sudden rush of gushing water from the tap bursting into the still quietness, and then the heated force of the hand dryer… and then…

Nothing.

No sound.

Raito withdrew his face from his clammy palms, staring at the closed, worn, cubicle door. Straining his ears, he desperately tried to detect movement. Nothing. So quiet in fact, he could hear the dull ringing in his ears which was often present when the rest of the world was still and silent.

Standing, he suddenly pondered to himself why exactly it was he was hiding from a another patron innocently using the restroom.

He wasn't sure. But then again, his nervous reactions to most situations seemingly rose from nothing.

Unlocking the cubicle with a loud clack, he opened the door, the hinge crying in protest, and stepped out.

The sinks situated around the corner and past the cubicles were out of sight from his current position, his surroundings apparantly still.

Making his way over with the intention of washing his hands, a sudden movement before him caused him to stop dead.

It was the mirror.

He looked straight ahead, but saw nobody, except for his own startled reflection, his face white and drained. Another step forward. He looked up.

And suddenly found a nameless face studying him, it's mouth open in slack surprise.

"….…Raito?"

_Raito stood before his bedroom mirror, the one situated above his dresser table, and studied his reflection. Bright eyed, smiling and alert, a perfect emulation of the real thing._

_Trotting down the stairs at a reasonable pace, he waved to his mother, who was vacuuming in the living room, and Sayu, who had the television up full volume attempting to listen to it over the apparantly inconvenient housework, and shouted 'good bye!' above the torrent of noise._

_His steps escalating to a jog once he had reached the end of his street, because if he didn't go any faster, he was going to be late for his theatre group._

_His shoes clacking down the high polished floors of the empty corridor, he finally reached his destination, having to stop by the closed, thick panelled door. Bending double and heaving large gasps of breath, he clutched at his ribs around the point where he knew a stitch was about to develop._

_Standing straight, running his hands through his hair, palms down pink cheeks, he pushed down on the solid door handle and entered the room. Heavy with silence and accented by 25 pairs of eyes simultaneously turning their undivided attention upon him._

_One of those pairs alive and bright with a genuine smile._

Standing off to the side of the thriving refreshments cart, the queue having suddenly increased dramatically in length, Ryuzaki stood, his hands growing damp from where they clutched the chilled cola bottles, and wondered what on earth could be taking Raito so long.

The sun was directly above him, its rays practically burning the thick black strands upon his head, in turn heating up the rest of his body and causing him to sweat.

Placing the bottles on the grass next to his feet, he tugged his long sleeved, white shirt over his head and tucked the end of it into his back pocket. His stark white, unblemished skin was kissed by the heat, but due to the distinct lack of a breeze, he didn't appear to be cooling down.

Snatching a glass bottle up from the floor, he ran it down the length of his slim torso, head arching back unconsciously in apparent relief. A passionate sigh escaped his lips. Slipping it down his grasp so that he was now clutching onto the neck, he rubbed the body of the bottle against the back of his neck, his dark rimmed eyes opening up just a crack…

…to see two girls standing in the queue staring in his direction, eyes wide and oblivious to the fact that it was now their turn to be served.

Swiping up the second bottle, he strode towards their direction, slipping his cold hand down his chest, down his flat stomach, along the sharp jut of his hipbone and cocked his brow as he eventually made eye contact. Opening his lips, he sucked in a small breath and quietly spoke three words.

"Not my type…"

Before walking in the direction of the public toilets.

A playful laugh escaped his throat, which was unexpectedly cut dead as his mind involuntarily flashed with images of Raito's probable reaction to such a situation.

Was this his conscience?

If that brief thought were to be true, he couldn't help but find it slightly amusing that such a feeling had manifested itself in the form of the auburn haired boy.

Seeing that Raito was still no where in sight, Ryuzaki pushed on the aged, paint chipped door and entered, despite the groans of resistance that emitted from the rusted over hinges.

_"Raito, since this is your first incident of tardiness, I will let it slide. Take a seat and make sure it doesn't happen again."_

_Bowing in apology, Raito slipped past Hajime, the group leader, and placed himself in one of the empty plastic moulded chairs, its metal legs appearing to creak in an overly obvious manner as if making sure to reinstate the subject of his late arrival._

_The morning briefing was relatively short, considering that the date until the play was now just weeks away, and everybody had their particular part seared into their minds. No further instructions needed, just methodical, repetitive practice._

_Thick, bound stacks of paper were drawn out of people's bags, the rustling of sheets turning and flicking all sounding at once._

_Raito rifled through his own copy of the dialogue, searching for his lines, unaware of the boy standing before him._

_"I thought you weren't turning up." A soft voice which such inflections that suggested a smile reached his ears._

_Hazel eyes flicked up. And then gradually creased at their edges._

_"Wouldn't miss it for the world."_

"Hey, Right-O, you in here?" Ryuzaki's voice bounced off of the hard concrete walls, his foot steps following suit.

The soles of his sneakers crunched upon whatever rubbish, gravel, dirt had been left on the floor, clearly having been 'missed' by the service cleaner.

Wrinkling his nose in distaste, the dark haired boy studied the cubicles. All doors stood open, showcasing their empty insides.

"Huh…" He said out loud.

Deciding that he would leave to once again stand by the refreshments stool, he turned, only to be stopped by a distinctly familiar voice emitting from the end of the room, behind and to the right of the toilet stools.

"Hey, Raito!" He called out, his brow knitting together in confusion. "Why didn't you answer me?"

His footsteps heavier now he sure of where he was headed, Ryuzaki loped forward, the mirror now in view, as well as Raito's reflection.

He was in profile, his eyes directed towards something out of Ryuzaki's field of vision. His mouth wasn't moving, his posture stock still, his hand, fingers curled, halted halfway to what was presumably his mouth.

The dark haired boy's stomach turned, sensing something instantly and terribly wrong with the situation.

"Hey, what is it?" He wrapped a protective arm around the other boys waist, burying his nose in his hair, his lips finding his ear so that he could whisper the words softly, comfortingly.

He was met with an unexpected reaction of opposition, his arms forcefully shrugged off, one of the colas in his hand flying out of his grip and shattering to a thousand, miniscule slithers once it met with the hard floor, black liquid dancing up into the air before falling back down and losing itself to the dark colour of the concrete.

Looking up to cry out in protest, Ryuzaki's eyes landed upon something which he hadn't noticed before.

And he had to admit to himself…He didn't understand what was going on.

_"Raito, do you really think you're prepared for the finale?"_

_Extracting a ripe banana from his satchel, he began to peel away the skin and looked up questioningly._

_"You know I am, I have my lines perfect now."_

_His partner laughed, a melodious, sweet sound. Short and not at all mocking._

_"I mean, you know, the end part…How well do you think the audience will take to that?"_

_Taking a bite out of the soft, pale yellow flesh, Raito furrowed his brow, until realization struck._

_"Oh, I see, yes. Well, unless people study the programme, I doubt they would even notice. I mean, who reads those thing anyway?" He paused to take another mouthful, noting that they only had ten minutes left before it was time to resume rehearsing. "And anyway, Kabuki is only traditionally played by entirely male casts, It's different now…you're so convincing, people will probably naturally prosume you're a woman."_

_Raito earned himself a playful push on the shoulder, before his fellow lead's face turned serious._

_"I'm just not sure how well received it will be. It's not exactly a popular form of classic drama around here."_

_Standing up and brushing the seat of his trousers down, Raito extended a hand, helping the other boy from the ground._

_"I don't know what you're worried about!" He laughed. "Nobody is going protest just because two males have to kiss on stage for the sake of a play."_

_"Ha ha, yeah, I guess."_

"Hey…what's goin' on?" Ryuzaki demanded, his eyes narrowing as he stared at the teenager before him, bleached hair and tanned skin, dark eyes that were rimmed with surprise.

"Raito! Has this guy done something to you?" Forcing his way past his immobile friend he drew to his full height as he stood before this unknown presence, his hands curled into fists.

A firm hand landed hard upon his bare shoulder, the moment of contact leaving his skin stinging.

"Ryuzaki, leave it!" Raito's voice startlingly loud, seemingly reverberating around their more than unsatisfactory surroundings.

Dark, chocolate eyes flickered between the two boys he currently stood between, clearly reluctant to 'leave it'.

"Raito, come on, let's go. Obviously, something's up." Ryuzaki firmly grabbed his wrists, refusing to adhere to any form of resistance, and physically pulled him out of the restroom, Raito's footsteps dragging and irregular due to his unwilling feet.

The blonde stood affixed to the spot.

Once they were outside, Ryuzaki didn't let go. He didn't let go once they had remerged and lost themselves amongst the crowds of people, and he didn't let go no matter how much Raito struggled.

Spotting an unoccupied bench, which was originally intended to hold the best views of the horizon, Ryuzaki forced his friend to sit down, and held him there until it was apparent he was no longer going to resist.

Numerous passers by stared in their direction, some whispering, some just observing, at the strange behaviour, but Ryuzaki didn't care, and Raito didn't seem to notice.

No, he was too busy building himself into a panic.

"Shh…Raito, calm down. I can see you're gonna flip out again if we don't sort this out." Ryuzaki was firm, his voice unwilling to soften up, still feeling somewhat angered after the confusing turn of events.

Raito's eyes refused to lift themselves from a particular point on the floor, their gaze irrevocably concentrating on something that wasn't really there.

"Are you going to talk to me..?"

No answer. Just the same, blank expression.

A deep, heavy sigh escaped Ryuzaki's throat, feeling slightly exasperated, all he knew what to do was provide physical comfort…the only thing he seemed to be any good at.

Slipping an arm round Raito's back, he squeezed reassuringly, providing strength and comfort. Bringing his face closer to his friends, Ryuzaki attempted to force himself into the boys line of vision. Their noses almost met by the time he became successful.

He rubbed his thumb back and forth along his shoulder and then dragged him closer with both arms, pulling him into an embrace.

"Breaks my heart, Raito, seeing you like this…"

As Ryuzaki opened his mouth to continue, an unexpected, high pitched squeal cut through the air and interrupted him, his head shooting up in curiosity to detect the source of the noise.

A girl, somehow familiar, with shoulder length, blonde hair, stood just three metres away, pointing, her mouth hung open.

"Oh my God." She cried, her eyes fixing him steadily, almost daring.

"Ryuzaki. It's true. It's fucking true."

His dark eyes wide and outlined by surprise, confusion, misunderstanding…

"I never believed it, but now I've seen it for myself. You ARE with that guy! You ARE gay! "

I…spilt icing sugar on my keyboard 0.o…so if I miss out any 't's' I'm sorry! I have to BASH it to make it work D:


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12- Unearthed Memories.

That voice, that was somehow familiar, which took it upon itself to announce rather loudly to the whole congregation of people at the fair ground the boys private matter of their sexual orientation, somehow hadn't quite reached Ryuzaki's ears in the correct order.

He knew she had screamed something, in high pitched delight, with an edge of mocking, that made an entire crowd of people in the vicinity slow down and stare, point and whisper things to each other. But it hadn't quite computed.

Mainly because his mind was still entirely preoccupied with the scenario in the public toilets, and that all he cared about was making sure that Raito was okay, and that nothing else would happen that could possibly push them apart.

But wait…wasn't this one of those things? That could push them apart? The possibility that they would now be the ridicule of the entire school?

…Of the entire school. Ryuzaki had finally worked out where he had recognised this girl from. She was one of the head cheer leaders. He couldn't exactly remember her name….Lisa…? Misa…?and , thankfully, he had never been 'acquainted' with her so to speak, but now that he looked at her, he definitely recalled those trademark, golden blonde pigtails.

His arm, still clasped around Raito's huddled form, had grown heavy with the sudden unwelcome discomfort, so it was an unexpected surprise when that discomfort was suddenly alleviated. Looking up, his mouth open with words that went unspoken, he watched as Raito's figure ran off into the crowd, shouldering people out of the way and disappearing into the congregations.

As his obsidian eyes darted frantically from person to person as a last attempt to locate Raito, his vision met with hers. Clear blue eyes alight with mirth.

And anger swelled in his chest. Suffocating and encompassing his usually calm persona. He stood, took two long strides, and stopped, his face fractions from hers, nostrils flared, dark rimmed eyes narrowed. Her eyes now wide open, her stance vulnerable, as she stood, clearly growing nervous.

Bringing his lips close to her ear, he spoke, his tones hushed with the sharp edge of threat, his breathing ragged.

"If you ever…_ever_pull a stunt like that again, and hurt Raito, in any shape or form, I will make sure to make your life a living _hell._"

Drawing back slightly, he took her pure white cheek in his palm, following the contours of her face down to her chin.

"Do you understand?"

He could feel the slight inclination of her head, unsteady and shaking, in his hand, as he smiled innocently at her, his eyes round and bright just as they were only moments ago.

"Good."

And off he disappeared into the mass of fair goers, instantly consumed and indistinguishable.

His chest tightening as an indication that his lungs were finally short of air, Raito stopped running and bent over double, heaving in gasps of fresh oxygen before slowing down and controlling his intake.

Unfurling to his full height, he surveyed his surroundings, hands on hips as he struggled to reclaim the last of his breath.

Looking over his shoulder he estimated he was at least half a mile away from the throng of noise and people. He had space. He could breathe. And think.

Before him lay the lake, the bright streams of sun light bouncing off of the gentle ripples, causing it to diffuse and cast a glittering effect.

As the light reflected in his chocolate brown eyes, his pupils bright with the image, he couldn't help but think…

…that everything had gotten so much worse since he had met Ryuzaki.

He had run to every corner of the fair ground, asked countless strangers whether they had spotted a hurried, red headed male, panicked, calmed himself, panicked some more, checked his phone countless times, despite the fact he knew Raito didn't carry one, and came up with nothing.

He had no idea where he had gone…or where he _could _have gone.

He knew full well that from there current position, it was at least eight kilometres from Raito's house, and that was if he took the non existent route straight over the lake.

Dragging his palms down his cheeks, he groaned in exasperation.

_Where…?_

And then an unwelcome thought struck. Which made Ryuzaki's seemingly impenetrable heart double in speed.

_Maybe he'd found that boy. The blonde one._

Ryuzaki shook his head, raking his nails through his hair and down the back of his neck. No, that was an idiotic thought. That boy was the reason for the teens sudden plummet in mood. Why on earth would he scout him out?

Still, there was an air of uncertainty circling his mind, tugging at his subconscious, but he allowed his intellect to over ride that. And partly his pride.

Ryuzaki had never, in his life, been jealous of anybody.

And he wasn't about to get into the habit.

It made him feel smaller then he had ever felt. Even more so than when he was a young child, who's hopes had always been broken by his fathers equally as broken promises.

_Raito sat in his room before the large, double windows, half slid open to allow the subtle night breeze to flow in. _

_Every time he recalled tomorrow nights performance, his heart would skip a beat. His limbs grow slightly weak at the image of the sea of nameless faces which would have their entire and absolute attention upon him. _

_And every time nerves such as these struck, he would shut his eyes, take a deep breath and recall how he had his lines down perfectly, had memorized every action, every move, every facial expression_

_The moon above was almost full, and hung heavy in the sky, the stars sprinkled sporadically around its glowing radius, almost nothing in comparison._

_Raito considered this to be a good omen. Something he liked to focus upon to settle his nerves. _

_Tomorrow would be a full moon, on the opening night of the play. The play which main focus was upon two young men, one human, and one half-sprite, who could only ever meet on a full moon. For every other day of the month, the latter would assume the form of a white heron, due to his mixed heritage._

_Raito knew full well that the dates had been pre empted to coincide with one and other, but none the less he preferred to think of it in his own way._

_His computer desk emitted a low rattling hum as his mobile clattered across the surface, the sound switched off, yet the vibration still on._

_The screen back lit by green displayed the clear name in pixelated grey._

Shou-kun.

_His brow furrowing, Raito unlocked his phone and tapped 'open', wondering why on earth Shou would be texting him at 10 pm, the night before the play, unless…_

Unless he was informing him that…!

_The sudden fear gripped Raito, causing him to fumble hurriedly to read the text, the phone shooting out of his hand in his struggle._

_Retrieving it from beneath his swivel chair, he steadied his hand and scanned through the text._

Srry2text so l8 Raito kun.

Can we meet up?

As in now?

Its srt of imprtnt,

Ill b at theatre group:30 mins.

_Not bothering to type out a reply, as to save him those vital few seconds, he grabbed his jacket and tugged it over his shoulders, making his way to the front door, terrified that that text had just confirmed his worst fears._

_Running the entire way, not allowing himself to stop to catch his breath, he arrived with five minutes to spare. _

_A slim silhouette stood by the closed front doors._

A breeze began to pick up, carrying a chill from atop the water along with it, and wrapped around Raito's arms. Clamping his hands over his biceps he stood and looked over his shoulder, towards the scene of tall rides and cluttered stands in the nearby distance.

"You really know how to run off, don't you?" Ryuzaki's voice was hushed, yet held no distinct emotion, refusing to let Raito know whether he was hurt.

The dark haired teen, once again dressed in his white t shirt, stood just a short distance away, his dark rimmed eyes seemingly dull as he extracted a long, slim, white stick from a now empty pack of cigarettes. Crumpling the carton in his fist, he made to chuck it into the still waters, before thinking better and returning it to his back pocket.

"Sorry." Raito looked the other boy in the eye before losing his nerve and concentrating on the long grass at his feet.

His nostrils flared as he released plumes of smoke from them, the whisps dissipating as they descended above his head. Ryuzaki's features softened, his fingers uncurling from the fists he had subconsciously made.

Stepping forward towards the edge of the water, Ryuzaki dropped himself to the floor, sprawling slightly on his behind before composing himself and pulling his knees up to his chin in his obligatory position. Without bothering to look his way, he reached out a hand, grabbed raito's arm and dragged him to the floor, squeezing him close by wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

Pressing his cigarette tainted lips to the boys ears, he whispered words, nothing particular in meaning, until he could feel Raito's shoulders relax, his muscles uncoil and his body loosen.

"Will you ever tell me what's going on?"

The red headed boy in his grasp inhaled deeply, holding it for a while before finally letting it go in one long sigh.

"As much as my conscionse is screaming at me to do so, I don't think I can allow myself."

The dark haired teens grip tightened slightly, partly in frustration, partly from fear. Fear that he didn't quite realize existed in him.

"But why?" His voice burdened with exasperation.

Warm fingers, fingers contradicting the boys mood with their temperature, slipped into Ryuzaki's and gripped almost desperately.

"Because I don't want you to leave me."

"_Raito," Shou stepped forward, the shadow from the building dipping in and out of his form, gradually uncovering his smooth features. They were relaxed, despite the urgency his text implied._

"_Shou." Raito gasped, the name just escaping his lips hrough his choked breaths. His hand clutched to his ribs, he bent over double, until his breath had returned and he could stand straight once again. He knew full well leaning over like that decreased the speed in which his lung capacity returned to normal, but still, he assumed the position despite this. "Is everything ok?"_

_There was no answer for a moment. An unusual air suddenly borne between them. Heavy, awkward. Raito didn't understand. He had never felt like that around Shou before. Ever._

"_Nothings wrong, Raito. I just need to talk. I couldn't leave it until tomorrow because we would be so busy with it being opening night." Shou's soft voice carried on the subtle breeze, one complimenting the other._

_Brushing his slightly dishevelled fringe from his eyes, Raito frowned in concern. What on earth could be so urgent?_

_Nervously checking his watch, pressing in the soft side button to illuminate the face, he noticed that it was approaching 11 pm. If his parents were to notice his absence, they would panic. They would really panic. _

_No thirteen year old should be out by themselves at this time of night._

_At least, not in their eyes._

"_Ok, but I have to head back soon, before my mum or dad notice that I'm gone…"_

_Footsteps crunched on the gravel underfoot as Shou suddenly appeared before him, stopping so that their noses were inches apart. His onyx black eyes doleful as his hand reached out to stroke Raito's hair._

"_You're such a good boy, aren't you, Raito?"_

_His heart lurched in his chest. His stomach flipping. A sensation he was not used to…or very fond of for that matter. A feeling such as this had occurred once before, something similar but oh so different. When at school, a few months back, one of the girls in his class confessed to him. He never took her up on it but…well, it was still pleasant. _

_But this, however, this was definitely _un_pleasant._

_Being careful not to invoke offense, Raito took a subtle step backwards._

"_Shall we go somewhere brighter, Shou kun? The park across the road is quitte well lit beneath the street lamps. Let's talk there. And then I really must be heading back."_

_Shou's hand dropped heavily to his side, a heavy realease of breath from his nostrils, like a sigh that had bypassed his lips. _

"_Anything you want, Raito."_

"Watari, could you drop Raito off at his house before heading back home?"

"Certainly, sir" Watari's dry voice emitted from the front seat.

Drawing his knees up, he placed his pallid hands atop them, and absently watched as Raito strapped himself in.

"Ryuuzaki, you should really do the same." The auburn haired boy spoke quietly under his breath as he concentrated on the glass petition before him. "Or you'll find yourself going through the windscreen one day."

"Nah…" the corner of his lips lifted into a playful smile. "You know I'm invincible, Right-o. Anyway, are you doubting Watari's driving?"

A cool hand slapped the back of Raito's head softly, mussing his perpetually neat hair. Smoothing it back down, the quiet teen managed a smile.

Small, but genuine.

The hum of the engine and whir of the air conditioning artificially filled the absence of noise separating the boys. Raito's forehead was once again pressed against his window, his head rocking back and forth with the Roll's juddering motion.

"Hey, Raito?" Ryuzaki's voice sounded innocent. Which was a definite first. It made the boy sit up and take more notice than usual.

"Yes?"

"Take all the time in the world." His onyx eyes smiled. "I'm stayin' put."

Raito's hand slowly rose from his lap, hesitated, and finally landed atop Ryuzaki's. The touch warm yet tentative.

"One day, Ryuzaki, I might be able to open up to you, how you did to me."

"I did?" Ryuzaki cocked a dark eyebrow, savouring the sensation of contact.

"Yes. Well, at least that's how I saw it. Telling me about your child hood."

"Oh yeah." Ryuzaki retraced his hand to apprantly shift his fringe to and from his field of vision, his pale appendage convering most of his features. Before reurning it to Raito's he turned to face the tinted window on his side of the car.

"Ryuzaki…" Raito began cautiously. "I didn't take you for being one to blush."

"That's cos I'm not, Raito kun." However defensive he sounded, there was still a smile behind those words.

"Then face me."

"I'm rather fixated on the window at the moment, Raito kun."

"Yes but I won't see you until tomorrow in about five minutes. Face me."

"I can see you in the window, Raito kun." Lifting his hand once again from Raito's, he lazily waved it from side to side, as if it were suddenly rather heavy.

An unexpectedly strong grip constricted his wrist and tugged. Hard. Ryuzaki spun round, his right foot slipping down onto the carpeted floor as it slid off of the leather upholstery, his expression one of utter surprise.

"I knew you were blushing."

_The artificial lighting which flooded the empty pathway filled Raito with relief._

_He couldn't tell whether he was imagining the strain between them, whether Shou's actions five minutes ago were out of the ordinary, or whether he was just over reacting and nervous to get back home before his parents discovered he was gone. _

_He was quite certain by now that he wasn't about to be told Shou was pulling out of the play._

_His worst fear…being left with the understudy he hadn't once rehearsed with, and only finding out the night before the opening._

_No, Shou would have probably said by now. Even just have done it over the phone._

_So…what on earth could have brought them two here tonight?_

"_Would you like to take a seat, Raito? Or are you ok standing here?" Shou motioned toward a simple wooden bench, situated just off to the side of the yellow spotlight the street lamp cast upon the dewy grass, next to a rock garden formation intended to evoke a traditional sense to their surroundings._

"_No, I'm ok standing," Raito replied shortly, his voice clipped without his meaning to. Unconsiously, he began to tap his trainored toe against the ground in a staccato which in turn shook his body. _

"_Ok. Here is fine. Nice and bright." His arms swept outwards in an open gesture, signifying the light. "Anyway, Raito kun, the reason why I asked you here. I'm sure you want to know why I dragged you out at such a time."_

_Raito nodded. Plain and simple. No hidden meanings could be detected from such a simple gesture._

Hidden meanings?_ Why on earth was he thinking such things?_

_It was almost as if he was frightened of giving the wrong impression. But…about what?_

"_Tomorrow…on stage. We have to…perform something which could be considered unsavoury. Now, I doubt it is only me who thinks this but…we havn't even practised said part. Do you not think if the first time is onstage on opening night it will be somewhat…unconvincing?"_

_Maybe Raito was wrong._

_Maybe Shou announcing that he was quitting the play wasn't his worst fear._

_Maybe finding himself in this situation, which, somehow, in someway, almost seemed as if it could grow dangerous, was his worst fear._

_His cheeks heated as his mind rushed with incoherent thoughts, one neither lingering long enough or completing itself before he had a chance to voice it. _

"_I…don't think is necessary Shou."_

_He dropped the honorific. He hadn't meant to. He didn't want to cause offence or appear hostile…but at the same time, he did not want to appear willing. Not in the slightest._

_What on EARTH was going on anyway?_

"_Raito…" Shou sighed, kneading the bridge of his nose with his finger tips. "I've seen how you look at me. You look at me with…"_

"_ADMIRATION." The red headed teen shouted, his fists balling up as his stance instantly grew threatened. "ADMIRATION FOR YOUR ACTING." He was scared. He was now scared, now that he could truly see where this was heading._

_Shou's onyx eyes widened, they're shine even more obvious in the lack of daylight. And with barely a second between stances his arms had violently encased Raito, his lips crushed onto his. _

_It was painful. Physically and mentally._

_His arms pinned to his side, he couldn't move. Shou, being two years older was taller, his arms leaner, stronger. _

_Raito was suffocating in terror._

_He couldn't move. Couldn't resist. Couldn't speak._

_His blood rushing past his ears so all that he could hear was a deafening roar._

_An apparent blessing in disguise. That's what Raito would have initially reffered to the lone teen, on first glance older than both of them, bleached hair, tanned skin, smoking a cigarette, who approached them from behind. _

_Who at first glance appeared to believe they were a young couple, a male and female, ending a date, and realized, upon closer inspection they were in fact two males. One of which he recognised from school. A fellow student with an elite reputation and future ahead of him which was so desperately sought after and could now be completely destroyed with one simple sentence._

_One recollection of what he had seen that night._

_What he had seen his blonde, ex classmate do to a younger boy who was so clearly struggling. Who clearly needed help._

_Raito's heart flooded with relief when an unexpected pair of hands tore them apart, relief muddled with terror upon viewing this unfamiliar face which was directed towards Shou, his hands gripping hold of his shoulders and shaking, hard._

_Shou suddenly collapsing to the ground, the unamed boy standing over him, shouting words that Raito could not comprhend in his current state of shock._

_Everything appeared dazed to him, fuzzy, as if he had just woken up. _

_He especially didn't notice when Shou's hand frantically grabbed behind him, blindly fumbling for one of the rocks which completed the formation, as the other boy continued shouting, preparing himself for what looked to be a violent confrontation._

_It was the loud, ear splitting crack that dragged him back to reality. The crack which tore through his dulled hearing like a fork of lightening tears through the heavy, static air._

_And then the thud as the body crumpled to the floor._

_Raito's auburn eyes soaked up the vision of what looked like black blood beneath the poor lightening, with almost the same urgency as the nameless teens clothes absorbed it. _

_He stared. Unable to tear his vision away from the scene before him. A gash, clear, open, wet, glistening, on the boys temple._

_The scene seared into his mind as he ran the whole way home. Not even realizing that Shou had already gone long before._

"I'm not blushing, Raito kun. You just raised the temperature in here with your hotness." Ryuzaki spoke with conviction.

Raito could not help but break out into a grin.

He couldn't tell Ryuzaki about anything…especially not until he found out the truth for himself.

Because, he knew for one, that he never wanted Ryuzaki to leave his side.

As lover or friend.

I don't even know why but that's the LONGEST i've ever taken to write a chapter. I just kept writing sentences and giving up and leaving it for the nigh :S So i tended to get a bit lost with myself.

Due to the HUUUUGE update time its seems as if Raito n Ryuzaki have had a HUGE weekend. But anyway, next chapter will be Monday, back at school. :D

What will happen with all this revealed gay-ness! :O


	13. Chapter 13

-1Trying to get back to updating quicker now :D although I've just got my mits on manga studio ex frontier and a wacom…so…that's more stuff to slow me down 0.o

Anyhoo, in celebration of the Wacom and MS, I have done a fan arts of this Fic's Ryuzaki.

h t t p : / / s o p h i e 1 0 2 9 . d e v i a n t a r t . c o m /

(take out the spaces when entering address JUST in case you thought was intentional :P for some reason fan fic doesn't publish link :S)

Titled Dissipating Like The Smoke 2.

There's also a hint there as to the new fic I am currently working on ;) 'Run away from dawn'. Any guesses as to what it's about are welcooooome:D

Chapter 13.- Uncovered.

Ryuzaki blinked. Shut his eyes. Opened them again. And eventually settled on squinting. The streaming sunlight was quite annoying. What was the point in paying a hundred thousand yen for a pair of curtains when… hang on, why weren't his curtains blocking out the morning sunlight?

Groaning quietly to himself, he sat up, the white sheets slipping off of his bare torso, almost as stark as the sheets themselves, and ran his fingers through his mess of black hair.

Without even bothering to look, he reached out a hand to his left and clutched at the cold china of the coffee cup. Bleary eyed, he brought it to his lips, only to retract it once the cold brown liquid washed over his tongue.

"Eugh!" He spluttered, his face screwed up into an expression of indignation. "What the..? Wata…"

"Yes, sir?" Watari, perpetually dressed in his black, tailored suit, appeared in his doorway as if anticipating the call.

Startled, Ryuzaki blinked, his face assuming an expression of surprise. "Uhhh…coffee's cold."

"Yes, sir, I would expect it is. I brought it to you earlier this morning. Quite _a lot _earlier this morning."

Cocking an eyebrow, Ryuzaki felt frustrations rising. It was early in the morning, he'd just woken up and Watari wasn't giving him straight answers.

"What…wait up, what time is it?"

Slipping his gloved hand into the pocket of his bespoke trousers, he extracted a silver pocket watch, attached to his belt loop by a delicate silver chain. The morning sunlight glinted off of its contours. One flick of his fingers and it opened with a light _click._

"10:45 sir"

"SHIIIIIIT." Jumping out of bed as if the words has physically bitten him, he slid across the carpet and swung open his wardrobe doors.

"Watari. Leave. Getting naked."

"I attempted to wake you numerous times, sir."

"Leave. Naked!" Ryuzaki reiterated, his arms folded across his bare chest as he stood in nothing but his boxers, eagerly awaiting the chance to remove them and climb into a fresh pair.

"Indeed, sir." Watari inclined his head slightly, in way of a bow, and exited the room by taking a step backwards and closing the door.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit," The teen muttered, whilst yanking clothes off of the hangers, hurriedly making a decision on what to wear. "He's gonna think I've abandoned him." He suddenly stopped, realizing he was standing calf deep in a pile of clothes.

What the hell was he doing!? He didn't need to _pick _an outfit! Just grab anything and throw it on!

Tugging on a randomly selected black t shirt, he grabbed his backpack from beside his bed and ran out of the door, along the hallway, down the stairs, over taking Watari along the way.

"HURRY UP, WATARI." He shouted over his shoulder as he left via the front door.

Watari, hastening his pace slightly, took a right as he reached the landing, and waited.

Bursting back through the front door, hair, dishevelled beneath his hat, and out of breath, Ryuzaki panted "Wrong door. Car park." And with that, raced once again past the ever patient butler.

"Yes, sir, I noticed." He nodded, sighing slightly to himself.

--

Today…

If he could get passed today, everything would be ok.

Just…walk in, head held high. No eye contact.

It will all be ok.

Anyway… If he were to be ridiculed today, it would be for a completely unrelated matter. Nothing to do with…_that._

No body knew about that. Not even Ryuzaki.

And…

And…

Fear unexpectedly gripped him.

The boy. In the public toilets. He…

Raito couldn't believe it.

He should be _dead. _

Raito saw it with his own eyes. Shou had knocked him to the ground, a gash on his temple, his body motionless. And all he did was….

Run.

He ran away. It made him as bad as Shou. Shou the, what he once thought, murderer. The boy who just vanished after that. No word from him, no trace.

Raito had no idea where he had gone because, after the incident, he had stopped going to drama club. He didn't even turn up for the play. Not after that. How could he? Neither of them did, or so he heard.

His only connections with Shou were at class. His parents didn't really know him, only heard his name every so often. His school friends didn't know him.

So, once he had cut ties with his class, he had cut all ties to information about the boy.

He watched the news sporadically, half in fear, half in awe, unable to tear his unwilling eyes away from the screen some days.

He felt compelled, against his own feelings of terror in the pit of his stomach, to look out for reports on a young body found in the park. Or the arrest of a teenage male named Shou.

He came across neither report.

He initially put this down to often going without even glancing at the tv for weeks. And then, after a while, he blanked it from his mind. He totally blocked it out.

All that was left was an empty feeling of terror, anxiety and ungrounded nerves.

To Raito, he himself, had committed murder.

And suddenly, he was at the school doors, walking through with a blank expression on his face, not having realized he'd arrived through his tangle of thoughts.

He glanced up, his expression stony and unreadable, as he walked the corridors, the students appearing eerily quiet.

His shoes clacked loudly, obviously, on the tiled flooring as he walked the extensive length of lockers, students dotted randomly beside them.

_They don't know your secret._

Hushed voices drifted across to one and other, eyes wide and speculative, as they watched the slim, tall teen, walk past them, his body closed off to them and he continued on with his arms folded in front of him. His armour.

_If they are talking about me…it's because of Ryuzaki._

Pulling back the sleeve of his black school jacket, he quietly regarded the digital face of his wrist watch. He had five minutes to get to class.

_If they think I'm gay…let them._

He'd be there in two.

_As long as nobody thinks…_

He reached the door to his classroom, the frosted pane revealing a few blurred figures already seated at their desks.

_That I'm a murderer._

The handle gave a mechanical groan as he pushed down, swinging the door gently inwards.

_But….now I'm not anymore._

The few students already seated at their desks turned to see who had entered.Their eye remaining clamped upon the figure as he made his way to his seat, at the back of the class.

_I've got to find out what happened. So I can hopefully return to the old me._

He sat down quietly, removing his text books one by one from his bag, ignoring the strong sense of ten pairs of eyes boring into him.

--

The Rolls pulled up just beside the school gates, Ryuzaki grabbing at the handle of the passenger door, almost falling out as it swung open with force.

"Thanks, Watari!" He stuck his head back in the car, grabbing at his sneakers which had been kicked carelessly to the floor.

"I shall make sure to wake you tomorrow, sir."

"My fault, man." he hurriedly replied, jamming his feet into the unlaced shoes. Without bothering to tie them up he ran towards the school doors, treading on one of the flailing laces and snapping it off.

Bursting through the heavy wooden doors, he hurriedly checked his watch, set into its black wrist band.

"11.45...shit."

It was almost time for lunch break. He had missed practically the whole morning. What if Raito had gone looking for him earlier? People might think he'd skipped out on school because of the accusations…

What did he care what others thought!?

All that mattered was that Raito was ok…

Deciding that there was absolutely no point in heading to his designated class, he ran towards the reception desk.

"Hi…" His face flushed, slightly out of breath, he smiled widely at the receptionist. A woman in her late thirties.

She stood from her desk, pushing her delicate, black rimmed glasses up her nose.

"Yes? How can I help you?"

"Oooh, 'scuse me, slightly outta breath here." He laughed, however, it came out as more of a wheeze. "Uh..I…I need to find out which class Yagami Raito is in right now."

Her features furrowed into a small frown.

"May I ask why? Is it an emergency?"

Arranging his pale features into an expression of utter seriousness, he exuded an aura of all importance.

"Oh, yes, very. It's his…aunt. She's been taken sick and I need to get hold of him."

The receptionist, at first appearing as if on guard, suddenly reverted into a sense of urgency. "Oh, Of course, right away!" Instantly, she sat down, clacking away at her keyboard, withdrawing the school timetable from the prescribed folder. " I apologize for the hold up" She said, shaking her head as she scanned through the files. "He's in class 2-B. That's on the top floor."

"Thank you." Ryuzaki nodded hurriedly, managing a quick bow before taking off once again, towards the staircase.

You just need to know the right things to say.

Reaching the top floor, he took a sharp left and hurriedly walked down the corridor, hoping that that classes wouldn't be let out just yet. Checking his watch once again, he noted he had at least a few minutes to spare.

2-B displayed itself clearly upon a wooden plaque nailed to a door just before him. He'd made it.

And, after peering through the forested glass, discovered that the class was still full.

Exhaling deeply, he leaned back against the wall and slid down it, his t shirt riding up in the process. His behind hit the ground with a dull thud.

He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms, without the concern of smearing makeup down his cheeks, as he hadn't the time, or patience, to apply any this morning.

He was just about to check his watch for the third time, when the door just to his right opened up and students began to pile out.

He didn't recognize many of them. They were from Raito's year, one year younger than him, and he generally stayed close to those of his own age.

A few headed in his direction, two males and three females. One girl, her hair a light red from where she'd attempted to bleach it, stopped before him to pull up her loose sock which had been slipping around her ankle. As she bent down, her miniature back pack slid from her shoulder and landed to the ground noisily, spilling its contents from where she hadn't zipped it up all the way.

Instinctively, Ryuzaki got up to help her reclaim her lost possessions. As he extracted various items of makeup and change from the floor, she stood over him and studied him coolly. Her amber eyes followed his swift movements, arms folding across her chest.

Standing to his full height, he held out his hand to her, giving her a half smile as he waited for her to reclaim her things.

But she didn't. She just stood there, on the offensive, watching him.

Raising an eyebrow he drew his hand closer to her. "You not gonna take your stuff? I could do with some new eye shadow…I'll take it of your hands if your not gonna…"

"You fucked my sister." Her harsh tones unexpectedly interrupted him.

"Ex…cuse me?"

"You fucked my sister. And now your gay. You gonna apologize to her?"

Ryuzaki's face was one of utter surprise, his onyx eyes wide open.

"Ok, lady, for a start. Who the HELL are you? And another thing. I'm not gay, all right?"

A smirk played across her pink lips. She would have been pretty if not for her scathing attitude. "Everyone knows your gay. Some girls might no want to admit it, 'cause, for whatever reason, they're all in love with you. But I know."

Another girl stood behind her, clearly one of her friends. Although this one appeared far more meek, her eyebrows knitted together in concern. Her stance suggesting she were ready to leave at any given moment.

"Aiko, stop it" She muttered.

She went on ignored.

"You don't know _anything_, ok? So just leave the grown ups to it and make tracks." Ryuzaki looked down on her from his superior height, eyes framed by their slitted, dark lids.

Grabbing her things from his hand without a further word, she shoved them into her back pack and walked away defiantly, dragging her friend along with her.

"What was that about?"

Having become so engrossed in his small confrontation, Ryuzaki hadn't even noticed Raito approaching.

"Nothing…don't worry about it." Suddenly, a beaming smile encompassed his face. "Hope you didn't go looking for me earlier, man. Alarm didn't go off this morning." His hand instinctively made to ruffle the boys red hair.

Ducking out of the way, Raito gave a small smile.

"You mean Watari?"

"Yup" he nodded, making his way for the staircase. "I mean Watari."

Trotting down the stairs, weaving in and out of the uniformed students, Ryuzaki was instantly recognisable in his unauthorized regular clothing. Raito spotted the loose beanie atop his head having reached the landing. Where it stopped and waited for him.

"Hurry up, man!" Ryuzaki called out, over the heads of the crowds eagerly making their way outside to the sunny grounds.

Patiently following an, un orderly, line down the left hand side of the staircase, Raito eventually reached Ryuzaki's side.

A few students slowed down to watch the pair as they made their way outside, but neither took notice. At least…Raito tried to ignore them.

He began to feel slightly suffocated, his history of nerves exacerbating the sense of being watched. He looked to Ryuzaki for reassurance, taking solace in the boys confident stride. His black eyes remained forward, only staring at what was ahead, his steps as sure as his personality.

Ryuzaki wasn't bothered by the unwanted attention. So why should he be?

And anyway… it probably wasn't actually as bad as he was imagining. Raito's mind often exaggerated any given situation. The problem was, he was just too scared to look around and confirm if he were right or not.

As they exited the main doors, the heat of the sun hit them with full force, Raito's dark school jacket suddenly becoming stifling. Sliding his bag down his arm and onto the floor, he shrugged off his blazer and hung it neatly over one arm. Replacing his back pack, he stood up and looked toward Ryuzaki, awaiting some form of detail regarding where they were headed.

He met a sardonic expression etched into pale features, enunciated by a black stare.

"It's, what, 90 degrees out here, man. Take your tie off."

Shifting uncomfortably, Raito shook his head. "I'd rather not, I don't want to look unkempt."

A finely shaped, black eyebrow disappeared somewhere into the older teens hair.

"You. Will. Faint."

"I'll be fine." Raito waved the comment off and started to walk ahead.

Ryuzaki sighed, exasperated, craning his neck back as if his head had suddenly become far too heavy.

With two swift steps he was in front of the boy and, with a pallid hand, reached out and grabbed his tie. Sliding down the Windsor knot, he loosened it enough to slip it off of the boy's neck. With a defiant look he put it over his own head and wore it loosely over his t shirt.

"That's better."

Raito rolled his eyes, refusing to argue his point.

"You look ridiculous" he muttered.

"Yeah? You love me for it." A smile tugged at one corner of his mouth.

Raito's step hesitated for a second. His mouth twitched as if he were about to say something. But he stopped, and continued walking.

The sudden feeling of apprehension caught Ryuzaki off guard. An unwelcome feeling arousing in his stomach.

Raito continued to walk ahead, their destination apparantly becoming clear. The lone tree the boy had sat beneath on his first day of school. The exact same place Ryuzaki and his friends had approached him. And…taunted him.

They sat down, the soft blades of grass comforting to Ryuzaki's now bare feet.

"Hey, Raito." His voice held a sudden mischievous tone.

"Mmm?" The boy looked up, his hand momentarily stopping its search for the red apple in his bag.

"Come here…" He patted the empty patch of grass next to him.

Ryuzaki was situated, from the front of the school's point of view, behind the tree. Their particular area was a relative distance away from the other students. The width of the tree trunk enough to shelter them both from view.

"…why?" He began to rummage through his bag once more, extracting the clean piece of fruit. He took a small bite, the red flesh breaking off easily.

"Cos I want you too, baby."

"Ryuzaki, don't call me that…here" He added the last word hastily, as if an afterthought.

"Alright…man." He added almost sarcastically.

They sat in silence for a moment, the only sounds the distant mingle of voices emitting from behind them, the occasional crunch of apple.

Extracting his regular brand of cigarette from a new carton, Ryuzaki rested it in between his lips whilst in search of his lighter. With a short, sharp _click_, the white stick was alight. He in haled deeply, clearly in need of this particular cigarette.

"You gonna sit here, then?" Ryuzaki eventually broke the silence, stubbing out the near burnt out cigarette on the sole of one of his discarded shoes.

Amber eyes turned to study him, appearing defiant. They suddenly relaxed as the boy sighed, apparantly giving in.

"Ok, if you insist."

Rather than shuffling across the small expanse, as not to risk grass stains, Raito stood, shifted his bag to the base of the tree, and neatly sat himself beside his friend, leaving at least a few inches of space between them.

Just as he began to enjoy the tranquillity of their spot, allowing the sporadic breeze to run down the collar of his shirt, a cool hand slid across his back and slipped down his waist.

Raito jumped as if he had received an electric shock.

"What are you _doing?" _He almost hissed in attempt to keep his voice low.

The instant he said those words, he wished he could somehow erase them from the atmosphere.

Hurt imprinted itself across Ryuzaki's pallid features. His eyebrows knitted together in concern, his eyes appearing doleful.

Such an expression was a rarity for this particular individual.

"Ryuzaki…it's…we're at _school._ People are already talking." His tones now gentler, as if explaining something important to a child.

"Huh." He sighed, mildly irritated. "More than what you do then."

Had he just heard right? Did he actually say that?

"Excuse me?" Raito's tone abruptly altered, icy and hard.

Shaking his head, his black fringe falling in front of his face, shielding his just as black eyes, Ryuzaki pinched the bridge of his nose. What Raito now knew to be an idiosyncrasy of the teen's, whenever he felt stressed.

"Raito, I'm such an idiot. Forget I said that. Really, I'm sorry."

Ryuzaki heard the words he was speaking as if he were a third party. He was practically begging. What had happened to him? When had he _ever _submitted to someone before in such a way?

The chiselled features of the younger boy appeared to be immortalized in contempt, his eyes narrowed in a scathing manner, Ryuzaki truly thought he would look at him like that forever. And then, along with it bringing a great sense of relief, they softened.

"No, it's my fault."

A laugh emitted from deep in Ryuzaki's throat, surprising his friend.

"Would you listen to us. Sound like a old couple! Ok, let's just forget that happened." He flashed him a toothy grin, a strong representation of the carefree teen Raito had first met.

"Ok, how's this, babe. I mean, man. We're in not in the vicinity of _anybody's _vision. If we so much as hear somebody coming closer, I'll let go. So, please, if I may, kind sir, could I possibly, maybe, if it's not too much to ask, very slightly, wrap my arm around you?"

Even if he had wanted to Raito couldn't stop the smile from slowly spreading across his lips. He exhaled heavily in ways of a laugh.

"I don't know. I…don't want to get any hassle."

"Aw, Raito, you're killin' me here, man! It's _me _with the reputation at stake! You're the new kid! You don't have a reputation to destroy yet. How many girls back there," He paused momentarily to enunciate his point by jabbing a thumb in the direction of the school building, managing to stub the digit on the tree behind him. "Shit, ouch." Wringing out his hand, a pained expression on his face, he continue with great valour. "How many girls back their would be dying to be in your position, ok?"

Raito stopped, and considered the question by sucking in his bottom lip.

"Uh…I'd calculate about ten percent of them. You know, the one's who haven't already had the privilege."

"Gonna take that as a joke, there, Right-o. Nice one, quick on the up take. Anyway, you should consider yourself lucky. This is me, Ryuzaki, sitting here, almost begging to touch you."

He spread out his hands before him, as if proving they were empty and that there was no hidden agenda.

Extracting a small, clear plastic bag from his backpack, wrapping up the apple core in it and returning it to the satchel, earning a quizzical look from his friend, Raito looked over his shoulder, judging the situation.

They were at least 400 yards from the school building. Which meant at least 300 yards from the edge of the concrete grounds. From his position, he could only see students occupying themselves on the grounds and a few speckled on the roof, enjoying the best position for the afternoon sun.

This, plus the bonus of the shelter provided by the thick tree trunk, reassured Raito that they were, in fact, quite safe in their current position from prying eyes.

Sighing, and bowing his head slightly in resignation he nodded. "Ok, Ryuzaki." Despite his tone, he was smiling.

Ryuzaki didn't reply. At least, not verbally. Raito could hear the sound of grass blades rustling as something heavy slid across them. He continued to train his vision on the floor beneath him, scared that if he were to make eye contact, he would loose nerve.

Cool fingers slid around his waist, slowly, but firmly. They slipped around his side, trailing down his body and rested upon the jut of his hip bone. There, they began to slowly massage, ever so inconspicuously, kneading at the skin, persuading it to shift gently across the bone.

Raito shut his eyes and sighed, contented.

As they kneaded, the sensation of a second hand came to rest upon his other hip, emulating the initial movements.

The blades of grass gave a tell tale rustle once again as Ryuzaki's form shifted once more, coming closer. He slid his slim frame between the base of the tree and Raito's seated figure, so that he was sitting behind him. And then he spread out his legs, in an uncharacteristic arrangement, positioning them either side of the younger teenager.

Raito could feel his crotch pressed closely against his own back, the other teens thighs squeezing together as if embracing the boy.

His fingers continued to massage the same, cathartic pattern.

"I thought…" Unexpectedly, Raito found his voice become momentarily caught in his throat. Clearing it, he started again. "I thought you just wanted to put an arm around me?" His voice low, refusing to come out even one decibel higher.

A cool nose trailed up the boys exposed neck, starting from the curve of his shoulder, tracing all the way along up to his jaw line. A heavy breath exhaled onto the skin as the dark haired teens voice came out in a hushed whisper.

"I couldn't stop myself…once I started touching you."

His dark lids were closed, indicating his feelings of relaxed bliss.

His wet lips slid up and down Raito's neck, teeth subtly grazing the flesh, his tongue taking over as he reached his ear. He, ever so slightly, as if afraid to touch it, trailed it up and down it's contours

"I just wanna touch every part of you." His voice remained low, sending chilling little exhalations down Raito's spine.

Raito knew he had gone too far, and that school was by no means the place for such activity. Not with the opposite member of sex, let alone the same. But…he found himself unable to protest.

The skilled fingers which had been continuously massaging at the same, mirroring points, carefully began to descend the mapped out lines from the boys stomach, to pelvis, to groin…The lower they became, the more pressure they applied.

Kneading firmly, then removing pressure, before swiftly applying it once again.

Ryuzaki's nose buried deep into the back of Raito's neck, inhaling his sent, nuzzling up and down, producing a wide expanse of goose pimples on the surface of his skin.

"I just want to…" Breathing in deeply, intoxicated by Raito's sent, he paused in his sentence. _"Kiss you._" A long, slow, whisper.

His cold cheek now pressed against Raito's, his chin rested on the curve of the younger boys shoulder, he slid his hands up, up across his hips, up his flat stomach, as if in reverse from before, drawing out the movements as they reached the boys chest, higher and higher, gradually, until they brushed gently up his neck and rested, one palm flat, either side, of his cheeks.

Both boys lids shut, heavy, as if in a deep sleep, encompassed in lust.

Slowly persuading Raito's head, bringing him round gently so that their lips could almost touch, the younger boy began to comply. Bringing a hand to the warm grass to steady himself as he twisted the top half of his body towards Ryuzaki, their faces parallel.

Leaning in, his head gradually tilting to one side, Ryuzaki eventually, finally, achingly, closed the distance, his soft lips encasing Raito's, which couldn't control themselves from smiling, tugging up slightly at the corners. His legs clamped harder around the younger teens body, bringing him closer, ensuring they had maximum contact.

They stayed like that for what felt like ages, before they're lips began to move. Slowly, at first, but gradually gaining speed, pressure. The older teens hands slipping from Raito's cheeks and into his hair, his nails clawing gently at the boys scalp, teasing it, massaging the underappreciated erogenous zone. Raito craned his head back, the sensations he was receiving making it impossible not to, allowing Ryuzaki clear access to his neck. Releasing himself from the boys lips, his own wet and swollen, he planted delicate kisses down the length of skin, all the way down to his collar bone and back up again until, finally, their mouths were reunited.

"Raito…" Ryuzaki breathed, only just managing to speak between kisses.

"Mmm?" His voice muffled due to his bodies unwillingness to let go.

"You've made me so…so hard."

"Mmm…"He sighed, releasing himself so that he could kiss his cheeks, nose and forehead, one. After. The. Other. "I can feel it. On my leg…"

Wrapping his arms tightly around the boys head, Ryuzaki pulled him into his chest, which began vibrating from his amused bouts of laughter.

"I don't know why your laughing, Mr. Lawliett."

The stern voice which arose so unexpectedly, as if from nowhere, caused both boys to sit up straight in utter shock, instantly letting go of one and other.

"Both of you will follow me. Ryuzaki first. And then you Mr…."

"Ya…gami." He supplied weakly, his brain unwilling to compute what was happening.

"And then you, Mr Yagami. We don't want students to work out the situation now, do we?"

The tall frame of the Head of Mathematics presented itself fully from behind the guise of the tree trunk.

As if his body were working of its own accord, Ryuzaki stood obediently, his face blank, as he trailed behind his superior.

"That's my office on the bottom floor in ten, Mr Yagami."

The words echoed in the deep cavities of Raito's emptied brain.

He felt as if his consciousness were about to leave him.


	14. Chapter 14

AN: I have kept English honorific's as I seems to flow better that way… f

Also, a bit of crude language on Ryuzaki's behalf. No offence intended.

Uuuh, yeah, my bf found out my penname and I DOOOON'T want him reading this! NEVER. Or anything else! hahahahdelirious laughter gonna have to change it…. Despite the fact I love my penname D: ideas anyone? PLZ? :D

Chapter 14.-Lust

Ryuzaki followed in mute submission, making sure to stay at least five paces behind the teacher, whose name currently eluded him. He had never had him for lessons, and seldom came across him in any other situations. But he already knew; he didn't like this man at all.

Every few steps, he would look over his shoulder, searching out Raito at his post by the tree. There, the boy sat, his features now indistinguishable from this point, but somehow, Ryuzaki knew that their eyes met.

The dark haired teen was lead through the school doors, the halls empty, their footsteps loud and echoing. Somehow, it seemed to create an ominous air.

Not once did the teacher look back, Ryuzaki finding himself staring constantly at the back of his closely cropped black hair, speckled with grey. As he stared at the back of this man, he didn't feel shame, or regret that they got caught. Just an overwhelming surge of defiance. How many times had he kissed girls in this school? Not only on the grounds, but in the actual building itself? Quite a few….

And never once had he gotten treated like this for it. Treated like a young child that were about to be punished.

He felt his fists begin to slowly clench and unclench subconsciously, hidden inside the material of his jean pockets, something he often did when tense. That, and toying with his carton of cigarettes, as if desperate to light one up. Come to think of it, he really could do with one right about now…

"Here we are, Mr. Lawliett."

They had arrived outside a plain, wooden door, just beneath the frame of the frosted pain embedded in the wood was a simple plaque, bearing a name engraved in white.

'Mr Nagashima'

Nope…still didn't ring a bell.

The door creaked awkwardly on its hinges as Nagashima opened it, ushering Ryuzaki in first. He was greeted by a white, box room, decorated sparsely with a plain desk, a leather, swivel chair one side and a brown plastic chair the other. The single pain window looked out onto the back of the school field, not much in view except for…

Except for the tree.

"Please, take a seat Mr Lawliett."

Turning, Ryuzaki fixed eyes with Nagashima, choosing not to answer. Instead, he trailed his gaze up and down the figure of the man before him, before settling with an disapproving stare and remained standing beside the window.

Exhaling heavily through his nostrils, the older man inclined his head and took a seat behind his desk, momentarily straightening his stationary before clasping his hands in front of him.

"If you do not wish to take a seat, I shall begin now, if that is ok with you Mr Lawliett?"

Ryuzaki's dark brows furrowed. "I never said I didn't want a seat. Rather presumptuous of you."

The mans clasped hands fidgeted slightly before he answered.

"I suppose it was, yes. Do you wan to take a seat then? Or shall I begin now?"

Ryuzaki stared him straight in the eye, his expression unchanging. His lips didn't move.

"…Ok then I'll prosu…I'll take that… I will just start now, Mr Lawliett, regardless of your answer." He fidgeted with a stray biro on his desk as he spoke, every time he re stared his sentence, his gaze would alter direction. Pen to Ryuzaki, pen to Ryuzaki.

This was one nervous man.

Ryuzaki couldn't understand why. Maybe he found the teen to be a foreboding figure? Maybe he'd never knowingly been in contact with gays?

"What I have…from what I saw… from what I could see, situated at my desk about ten minutes ago, Mr. Lawliett, was quite simply a huge breach of school rules. Two pupils…

"You mean two gays." Ryuzaki suddenly interjected, his voice gruff. A distinct change from his usual smooth sounding tones.

"W…w...what I mean Mr Lawliett, is that two pupils, no matter what sex, are entitled to such behaviour on school grounds." His cheeks had reddened slightly.

Ryuzaki raised a questioning eyebrow, his expression clearly showcasing the fact he was not convinced.

"So, lemme get this straight," He said, walking forward and grabbing the back of the chair, swinging it round and seating himself upon it, the seat now facing the opposite way. He leaned his folded arms upon the back rest. "I, not being one to brag, have gotten with a fare share of the ladies _In this school. _I mean in as _in _the actual school. On the grounds. No one's bothered me. Or them for that matter. Funny that…"

"Mr. Lawliett, that behaviour is also unacceptable. It could just be that you were never caught."

"I doubt you believe that any more than me, Nakashima."

"Nagashima."

"I prefer Nakashima."

"Anyway, Mr. Lawliett, if you will allow me to continue… you have been caught performing unsavoury acts on school grounds, which can be punishable by expulsion. I will be forced to contact your parents, the participating students parents and the Head, who will decide on the severity of your punishments."

After Nagashima finished speaking, there was a heavy pause. He looked at Ryuzaki. The boy was rolling a long white stick between his thumb and forefinger, his line of vision directed at the cigarette. Nagashima cleared his throat and Ryuzaki's head jerked up, eyes wide.

"Uh? Oh, you finished. Ok, good, was getting bored."

The older man made a startled sound in his throat, his lips opening as if to retaliate, however, the defiant teenager halted him by continuing.

"Ok, couple problems with that. One, I have no parents, do your research. And two, I couldn't give two shits if I get expelled, I only came here for the pussy, and now I got what I want. Funny how it wasn't even pussy in the end, isn't it?"

The older man noticeably winced at the crude language, becoming more and more unsure of how to deal with a student of this calibre.

"Well, you may not care either way if you get expelled, but what about the other boy? He may not have a wealthy heritage to fall back on."

Ryuzaki's eyebrows creased in surprise.

"So…you don't know that my parents are deceased, yet you know I'm wealthy. That strikes me as marginally suspicious…"

A strange twitch captured Nagashima's lips. Just a flicker, and it was gone.

Ryuzaki kneaded the bridge of his nose and exhaled, looking towards the floor as he did so. Raito wouldn't want to get expelled. He couldn't. It would be something that would shame his, somewhat uptight, nature. And then there was the subject of _his _parents finding out the reason for it. No, no, no that would all be bad. It would effect Raito deeply.

Ryuzaki groaned internally, unsure of what action to take.

He didn't want to hurt Raito. That was the last thing he wished to do. Just as he was beginning to gain trust in him…

"So…I seem to have gotten through to you the seriousness of this situation now." Nagashima said, having picked up on Ryuzaki's sudden change in mood.

Ryuzaki didn't lift his head, his eyes remaining fixed on the floor. He gave one, simple nod.

"So, now we have that par clear, I would like to offer you a solution."

Ryuzaki's head jerked up in time to see the grin slowly creep across Nagashima's face, as if of it's own accord.

"What kind of solution would that be then, Nakashima?"

Ignoring the blatant use of a different name, the elder man reached into his draw.

Raito had gotten lost. Plain and simple.

He had never been to this part of the school before, as he had never had a particular reason to. Until now.

He had manage to keep relaxed by breathing correctly, keeping his mind clear and rationalizing the situation. And the way he rationalized it was by reassuring himself that because Ryuzaki was involved, this would surely be resolved.

If there was anybody who could talk his way out of any situation, then it was Ryuzaki.

Taking a left, Raito emerged into a short corridor consisting of only three doors. It had to be one of these. According to the map he had kept in his bag, the one he had only just recalled he possessed about five minutes ago, this was were the maths teachers offices were held. Being the Head of Maths, Raito presumed this man had his own office. The other teachers were evidently divided between the remaining two rooms.

As he approached the first door, a hard _SMACK _emitted from just ahead, causing the boy to physically jump from fright. His nerves instantly stilled as he saw Ryuzaki exiting from the now open doorway, heading towards him in his trademark stride. As his dark eyes met Raito's, a momentary look of shock flashed across his face, before it melted into a warm smile.

"Hey, man. No need to go in there now, everything's sorted." Not allowing down to accommodate for the younger teen, Ryuzaki wrapped an arm round the boys waist and steered him in the other direction.

"Wow…How…wait a sec, Ryuzaki, can you slow down?" A small frown nestled into the boy's features.

"Oh, sorry, Right-o, forgot you had little girly legs." He said playfully, yet his eyes still held a small hint of hurriedness. His steps slowed down but a fraction.

"What happened in there? How did you resolve things? And…after that do you really think we should be walking through school with your hand on my behind?"

"Yes I do. But maybe I shouldn't," He grinned as his steps seemed to quicken again. They were heading up the staircase and towards the media department. "Anyway, Raito, you know me. I can talk my way outta a paper bag. Crap analogy, I know, makes no sense, but here's what I did. I simply said that due to our particular…sexual…orientation…" Ryuzaki drew the words out slowly, gesticulating heavily as if he were reeling the words out of the air. "We were being treated unjustly. And that I would report him for such unjust acts."

Raito stopped, resisting the tug around his waist as his partner continued forward.

"Really?" He asked, more out of surprise than in an accusatory manner.

Ryuzaki stopped, a few paces ahead. He looked directly into Raito's eyes without faltering once. "Yeah. That's what happened."

A short pause before either spoke again.

"Ok. If that's what you say."

That night Raito had returned home straight from school, having turned down Ryuzaki's offer of 'hooking up at a bar later'. There were a number of reason's why he refused the offer. The main one, however, being he needed to make start on the essay he had received in biology on mitochondria. It wasn't due in for two weeks, but it was a fair bit of paper work, and he would really benefit on beginning research that same day.

Greeting his family in his usual perfunctory manner, he made himself a cup of black coffee before retreating to his room, the orderly contours doing wonders to sooth his soul. Today had been a bit of a shock but he'd stopped himself from panicking, put his trust into Ryuzaki, and they had come out fine.

This was a huge step forward for the teen, realizing that not everything that went wrong in life would end up with disastrous consequences.

As he sat down at his desk, he withdrew his leather bound notebook from his bag and placed it on the desk before him. Flicking to an empty page, he scribbled a quick header; 'Mitochondria and the relationship with it's Host' before letting his pen hover halfway down the page. His mind had drawn a momentary blank. He was about to start researching when his thoughts had drifted off to a particular black haired male, and now he couldn't remember what he was actually about to do.

Deciding that he would flick on his PC, he suddenly remembered…that was it. That was what he was about to do; research on the internet.

The monitor glowed a dull black before flicking to life, the tower emitting it's dull hum.

As his fingers drifted towards the keyboard, he halted before he typed in any keys. He had just been about to…..do _something_…however, faint, involuntary images of those moments at lunch break incorporated into his thoughts. A smile tugged at both ends of his lips completely of their own accord, before he shook his head and proceeded to enter his password.

Right. That's what he was doing. Entering his password. This enabled him to log into his PC. And RESEARCH. He was researching.

He was researching the relation between mitochondria and…

He suddenly recalled what it had been like when their lips first met, and the sensations it had produced in his body, and the simple recollection of that time seemed to recreate those feelings to an almost similar intensity.

Shivering, he ran his palms down his face, groaning slightly deep in his throat.

This. Must. Stop. Now.

He had homework to do.

And what was he doing?

Subconsciously obsessing over a…over a _friend._ That's what he was. A friend who…he had somehow began experimenting with and he didn't even know why.

No matter how much his mind reminded him he did in fact know why, he pushed the thoughts to the back of his memory, and brought up Google.

Homework.

Mitochondria.

Ryuzaki…

HOME WORK.

MITE…OH….CON…DRIA.

Kissing him…

Unexpectedly, even to himself, he slammed his fists on his desktop, sending stationary rattling, and his monitor flickered slightly.

Collapsing into his hands, his finger tips kneaded at his forehead. He could never concentrate now.

Because…he had recollected to the point where…

Raito stood up abruptly from his chair, sending it wheeling across the floor over to the bed.

He needed to go to the bathroom.

Silently praying that it wasn't already occupied and that he would have to go downstairs, through the living room and past his family, he swung open his bedroom door and almost tripped over himself.

His mother was standing there, two inches away from his nose, her fist poised as if about to knock on the aforementioned door.

"Raito!" Her voice high pitched indicating how startled she was.

He couldn't help thinking how this could turn into a potentially embarrassing situation...

"Mum. Yes?" He said, attempting to keep his voice at a normal pitch, shifting his leg slightly, unsure of where it could go to protect his foreseeable shame.

"I was just thinking, Raito. I've over estimated for dinner and we've got some going spare. Would you like to invite your friend over to eat with us?" She smiled, a look in her eyes indicating that he should say yes.

"Uh…I'm not sure if he's free." His knee knocked impatiently against the door frame, Raito half wondering where the sound was coming from.

"Well, just phone him and see. You hav't had anyone over in…

"…years, yes, yes, I Know." His tones growing impatient.

"Would you like to use the homephone?" Her tones growing insistent.

"I don't know, mum." He was becoming a little desperate at this point.

"We all just thought it would be nice."

"OK, OK…I'll….go phone him." His voice snapped, surprising his mother and himself.

Blinking, she nodded silently and turned to head down the stairs.

"Just make sure you do!" She called over her shoulder.

Without a second though, Raito headed to the bathroom and locked himself in.

Ryuzaki slipped his arms into his jacket and jammed his hands into his pockets to check whether he had his phone, wallet and keys. Once all was accounted for, he made for his bedroom door.

When his trouser leg began to hum with a low vibration.

Grabbing his phone, he quickly regarded the screen. Unknown number.

With faint curiosity, he pressed the answer key.

"Hello?"

A familiar voice came through the line. One that caused him to grin with an unexpected surge of glee.

"Right-o! Not like you to call me…what can I do for you ol' buddy o mine?"

Raito's voice was hushed as if he were being hurried through the conversation with somebody standing over his shoulder. As if a gun point.

"Basically you want me to come over for dinner. Now? Well…Yeah, sure, I'm not doing anything!" He smiled. The gesture reaching his eyes. " See you soon…_babe." _He whispered, almost mocking in manner.

After hanging up, he typed out an unspecified message with multiple recipients.

_Sorry guys. Cant com important came up. C u 2morro at school._

Raito hung up the phone, the click as the receiver returned to the cradle the only noise in the room. Despite it's four occupants.

His family had apparantly insisted on staying in the room whilst he made the call, appearing to go about their own business as they watched him out the corner of their eyes.

"Oh, you're finished then, Raito. Is he coming?"

"..Yeah." He couldn't be bothered to argue the fact they must already know the answer to that, judging by Raito's finishing note of 'See you soon' he knew full well they had heard.

How on earth was tonight going to turn out? Raito couldn't help but fret mildly at the up and coming situation. Would they take Ryuzaki to be rude? Too outlandish? Would they…_know?_

The idea of that very scenario caused the boy's stomach to turn. Instead of sitting about waiting, in turn lengthening the time it took for Ryuzaki to arrive, he busied himself by setting the table.

Twnety minutes felt like two hours. He would arrive any minutes. Raito stared at the clock, watching the second hand constantly surging forward as if to remind him there was no undoing this, no way he could…

A shrill ring resounded through the hallway.

"He's here!" yelped Sayu, jumping up from her chair and into the kitchen to prepare the plates.

"Go answer the door then, Raito." His mother prompted him, ushering him to the door with her hands.

His stomach lurched as his heart squeezed from the tension.

It'll be ok. Ryuzaki…knows better. He will be fine.

Opening the door, the cold night air rushed into the entry way and there stood Ryuzaki, his red cheeks in stark contrast to the rest of his pale complexion as he huddled against the chill inside his thick jacket.

Leaning in, he pressed his lips to Raito's and whispered two words.

"Hey, baby."

Raito's mother was standing directly behind him.

K guys, sorry about the delay. I've been neglecting this in favour of my DA page. So sorry if this seems rushed DX by the way, next chapter is a fun one :D


	15. Chapter 15

No you haven't damn well imagine this chapter, I actually ended up writing it. It's been so long so I may be a little rusty and I apologize, try to enjoy none the less and I will too!

Note: Raito's parents will have western honorifics so they are easier to discern

Chapter 15-

Raito's mother was standing directly behind him.

And all Raito could think about right now was how much he wanted to hit the boy who was currently in front of him, attached to his lips. It was a chaste kiss that felt as if it lasted for a full on five minutes. And before he has been given a chance to snap out of his daze and resist, perhaps forcibly, Ryuzaki was back standing on the doorstep, hands jammed in pockets and smiling amiably into the warmly lit hallway.

"Hello, Mrs. Yagami!" Ryuzaki called in, suddenly sounding uncharacteristically English and well spoken, bobbing up on his toes along with the greeting.

Raito's heart seized in his chest as he waited for his mother's response. He hadn't mustered the strength to turn around and gauge her reaction as to what had just happened, and all he could envision was her standing there, stock still, in mute amazement.

"Oh, Ryuzaki!" She quipped, as if she _hadn't known he was there._

Gradually, Raito turned on his heel to find his mother red faced and clutching a brush in one hand, dustpan in the other.

Upon seeing her son eying the cleaning equipment she was holding, she quietly explained to him that she had forgotten to vacuum the hallway earlier and couldn't have a guest come into a house with it looking like that.

"You were sweeping just now?" He asked slowly, almost unable to articulate a sentence through the relief.

"Yes, Raito, no need to make a fuss." She spoke hushed as she grinned at her son's friend and warmly welcomed him in.

As he stared at his mother, mouth unconsciously open in surprise, he felt something brush past his arm, the scent of the night air carried with it.

"Yeah, Raito, no need to make a fuss." The black haired boy grinned his toothy grin as he walked past, a knowing wink which only served to promise Raito the least relaxing family dinner he was ever going to sit through. Hopefully Ryuzaki would behave, because his mothers house keeping habits weren't always going to be able to save him.

"Ryuzaki san!" Sayu chirped as she pulled out a chair from the dining table. "you can sit here, next to big brother." she beamed up at the boy as came into the dining area still wearing his jacket, which he began to shed as he stepped forward. "Let me get that for you," She offered, hands already extended.

"Sayu." Raito interjected, slightly exasperated, before his friend had a chance to respond with something characteristically charming. "I'll take care of it, you go finish helping mum."

Her face drawn into a pout, she turned and skipped off to help serve the dishes.

"Right-o," Ryuzaki began appreciatively. "The females in your family are just eager to greet me, aren't they?"

The younger of the two studiously ignored the perpetually impish grin that was stamped upon his companions face.

"Hey, relax…"

Two cool hands unexpectedly ran up and down his arms, coming to a stop at his shoulders and finishing with a gentle squeeze. Shrugging him off with a ferocity as if he'd just been electrocuted, Raito spun round and stared the boy in the eye.

"Ryuzaki, _what_ _are you…"_

"Hey, no ones looking," he began quietly, before the corners of his mouth once again lifted. "You just looked so tense, and I gotta be honest, Right-o, I'm kinda excited to be having this formal introduction to your parents so early into our relationship." And sat in his appointed seat before the other had a chance to retort.

Casting a quick glance to the kitchen, ensuring that nobody was in fact looking , Raito closed his eyes, exhaled, and quietly took his seat. Before the realization struck.

_Relationship!_

His moment, however, to discuss this further was abruptly dashed by his father entering the room and taking his seat opposite the apparent guest of honour.

"Ryuzaki, we are very pleased you could join us for dinner at such short notice." Soichiro Yagami was usually a man apt in his subtle behaviour, however the awkward way in which this greeting was delivered was unnatural enough to cause Raito's shoulders to tense in embarrassment.

He did not believe there was any other way in which his family could display how desperately tragic their son's social life was, and how painfully glad, if unused to the fact, they were in him having actually sustained a friendship long enough to bring somebody over to the house.

"Yagami san, I thank you for your hospitality, and might I add what a beautifully polite and welcoming family you have."

Raito flicked his gaze over to Ryuzaki, his face a picture of perfect manners, lips pulled into a humble smile. Yet somehow, whether it was just his paranoia, or whether it was because by now he just knew him _too well_, a mischievous light lay hidden in his dark eyes.

Which was confirmed by the gentle squeeze on his thigh confined to the safety of beneath the table.

All he could do to save a reaction was firmly clamp down on the side of his tongue.

"Raito, what's up with your face?" Sayu's perpetually bright voice quipped up from the opposite side of the table.

It felt as though she had literally materialized from nowhere, Raito having been completely unaware of her return to the table. She had somehow placed a plate of food in front of him without him noticing, his attention being so entirely dedicated on what Ryuzaki was likely to do next.

"I have an ulcer." He mumbled into his glass of water he hadn't even realized he had brought to his lips. An automatic defence mechanism.

He placed his class down and looked up.

His entire family was seated.

Nobody had touched their food.

And every pair of eyes was trained on the good looking, black haired teenager.

Who's fingers were currently massaging Raito's thigh.

"Please eat, everybody." Raito's mother announced, unaware of how relieved her son was at how occupied that request rendered their guests hands.

A silence ascended upon he table as if each person was waiting for the next to initiate some form of dinner talk. Raito held his chopsticks with the determination of a foreigner willing himself not to drop them as the sound of his family eating seemed to intensify dramatically in his head with each passing mouthful.

He glanced up from beneath the curtain of his fringe, which was currently acting as a wonderful barrier, and could clearly see how awkward his family were feeling. His father appeared to be staring out his plate as if persuading it to back down from a confrontation, his mother smiling pleasantly even whilst chewing, as if she thought that stopping so could potentially sour the situation.

Sayu stared unabashed at Ryuzaki, not caring to hide her appreciation of his aesthetics, and the boy who was the cause of this hellish situation continued to eat in perfectly contented silence, taking it all in in that infuriatingly laid back manner Raito couldn't even begin to fathom. He gave each of the family a beautifully rehearsed smile, before turning to Raito and grinning.

A grin punctuated by a hand brushing casually over his groin.

Raito's knee jerked and caught the table, causing dinnerware to rattle and his family to regard him with a look of surprise.

"Brother, what is wrong with you?" Sayu frowned, scooping some more rice into her mouth as she spoke.

"Sayu, don't talk with your mouthful!" Her mother scolded, diverting the conversation swiftly. Clearly, she desperately wanted to avoid any embarrassment on Raito's behalf as much as he did.

"Ok, but he's being weird." She added under her breath.

"Well," Ryuzaki unexpectedly spoke up, as if this break in silence was quite obviously his cue to begin conversation. "This _is_ delicious, Mrs. Yagami."

And then Raito witnessed something that, despite everything that had happened to him these past few days, he didn't think he would ever see.

His mother brought her hand to her mouth, noticeably blushed, and turned away in what could only be described as the most coquettish mannerism he had seen.

"Oh, Ryuzaki, honestly, it's just a simple dinner." She beamed, obviously physically unable to stop herself.

"Well, Mrs. Yagami, I think it's wonderful. I don't often get the chance to eat normal home cooked meals in a family atmosphere."

His dark rimmed eyes held hers as he said this, his tone dropping so that only Raito could really notice it.

"If you don't mind me asking, why is that?" She asked, her hand lowering to her chest as if preparing to receive a piece of particularly awful news.

"My parents passed away when I was young." A line delivered perfectly. He spoke almost as if worried he would put everybody out at having to reveal this, himself however having come to terms with the fact.

"I'm very sorry to hear that." Soichiro said, looking up from his plate for the first time since dinner began.

"Oh, you poor thing." His wife continued for him. "You are welcome here for dinner whenever you like, you know. And please, call me Sachiko!"

A grin broke out on his perfectly pale features, his contrasting eyes smiling brightly with him.

"I'm sure Ryuzaki get's much more upscale food at home," Raito suddenly found himself saying. The idea of often having to endure this situation was almost too much for him to contemplate.

"What do you mean, Raito?" Sayu practically demanded, seemingly put out that her chances of spending anymore time with Ryuzaki were quickly becoming dashed.

"I mean, Sayu, that Ryuzaki's servants can probably…"

"You have _servants!" _She blurted, cutting her brother off mid setence.

"Sayu!" Her mother scolded again, yet somewhat half-heartedly as she kept her eye on the guest, unable to hide her interest.

"Well," Ryuzaki began, the beam on his face never diminishing. "Yes. I can't deny it."

"Woooooooow…" Sayu mouthed, her eyes filling up with wonderment as the teenager actually managed to become even more intriguing to her.

Conversation quickly shifted to topics of Ryuzaki's estate, his cars, his 'personal butler', and the business his father had left to him, which Raito hadn't even known about. Although, rather than conversation, they were more quick fire rounds posed by Sayu , nobody suggesting that she should watch her manners as they were all as curious as her.

"As much as I love to discuss myself, guys, I was wondering if I could here about Mr. Yagami's work? A detective isn't it?" Ryuzaki suddenly fixed his attention upon Raito's father, his face a picture of genuine interest.

"Me?" Soichiro sat up, surprised by the sudden change of topic. "Of course, what would you like to know?"

Raito internally sighed as he watched his father secretly revel in the approval he was receiving from a man so many years his junior.

"Everything! I think it's amazing you get people out there who put their lives on the line to catch criminals and help bring justice."

Raito could swear that Ryuzaki was almost…_flirting_ with his father. And not only that.

His father was unconsciously relishing in it.

_Dinner is finished. We have finally finished dinner. Just desert now. That shouldn't take too long. Hopefully._

Raito sat with his elbows propped up on the table, thumb and index finger kneading the bridge of his nose as he half listened to his father discussing the ins and outs of working on the police force, Ryuzaki throwing in noises of appreciation and asking all of the questions he should ask to keep the conversation fresh and rolling.

Sayu was clearly becoming frustrated at the topic, most likely eager to move the subject back on to the attractive foreigner seated at the table.

Ryuzaki had his entire family enchanted by him. And Raito couldn't work out how he was the only one to see past that superficial layer of charm and yet still be the one who was the most intoxicated by him.

Before long, a bowl was placed in front of everybody and Ryuzaki wondered aloud if he could maybe ask something

Once again, every pair of eyes was instantly fixed upon him.

"You can ask anything, dear" Sachiko offered.

"It's nothing important," He began, almost sheepish. "it's just that I usually have a very odd manner of sitting, and I was wondering if anybody would be offended by it?"

"Ryuzaki, you can make yourself at home here. Sit however you like." Soichiro offered good naturedly, clearly having warmed up to the boy considerably.

Raito watched as his friend drew his knees up to his chin and placed his bare feet flat on the chair, feeling absolute despair at how…_insane_ it looked.

All was silent for a moment, except for the sound of a single spoon clinking against the ceramic edge of a bowl.

"Oh," Ryuzaki said in surprise. "I'm sorry, I thought everybody had started eating."

As if finding her voice, Sachiko exclaimed, "Oh, no, you eat, everybody else, you too!" and made flapping hand gestures as if to urge everybody on.

"Why do you sit like that?" Blunt as ever, Sayu was the first to speak what was on the collective mind of the room.

Raito had truly given up at this point. He sat back and let everything play out as if he weren't even there. Especially when that hand returned to his groin at sporadic intervals throughout dinner.

"I had spine problems when I was little. Its just more comfortable for me." Ryuzaki said simply, awarding the girl with another of his winning smiles.

She remained staring at him for a moment or two before regarding him with a look of admiration. "Coooool." She breathed.

Yes, Raito had actually given up.

A comfortable silence had settled over the table, most strains of conversation now having been exhausted, the only sound the clinking of cutlery.

"Hey, Raito." A hushed, almost indistinguishable whisper floated over from Ryuzaki once a conversation had been struck up between Sayu and her parents.

"What is it, Ryuzaki?" He barely concealed the strain in his voice.

"D'you know what would go better with this ice cream?"

"No, but I have a feeling that whatever I say you are going to tell me regardless."

A quiet laugh rolled out of Ryuzaki's throat as he clamped his spoon through his toothy grin.

Taking the cutlery between his thumb and forefinger, he waggled it matter of factly at Raito, his voice remaining ever so low.

"I think it would go great sliding down your cock as I…"

Raito spluttered, hurriedly grabbed for his water and took two generous sips.

Cheeks ablaze, he glanced up at his parents, still deep in conversation with his younger sibling.

"Ryuzaki," He kept his voice so low he could barely hear himself. "_Please_ do…"

"Please do it? Ok but I think we're gonna have to wait until after dinner…"

"Hey, what are you two whispering about?" The interruption from Sayu snapped them back into reality.

"Oh, just some grown up stuff." The older teen explained, nodding knowingly at the young girl. "Right, Raito?"

Aghast, all Raito could do was nod.

"Brother, why do you look so ill?"

"Because I just upset him." Ryuzaki patted the other boy on the head, inciting an urge in Raito to punch him for the second time that evening. "You see, Sayu, we were just discussing a problem we had in class today. A maths problem. And for once the boy genius was wrong and I was just explaining to him the correct method of completing the problem."

Sayu's expression assumed that of disinterest.

"And now, Raito, this proves that whatever I say is right." he added, despite how entirely unnecessary it was. "And that we should go to your room after dinner and work on what I just explained."

"Oh, wonderful!" Sachiko quipped. "It will be so much more fun studying with someone, don't you think, Raito?"

"Yeah, Raito, it will be so much more _fun."_ Ryuzaki stressed good naturedly.

"Right!" The younger male stood up so abruptly everyone appeared slightly startled. Everybody except for the obvious exception. "We will go study _now_ then. Come on, Ryuzaki."

Lowering himself from his chair, Ryuzaki stood and bowed towards his friend's parents.

"Thank you ever so much for dinner. As you can see, Raito is in somewhat of a hurry to start on our studies, but it was lovely to meet you all."

"As I said, Ryuzaki, anytime." Sachiko smiled, so genuinely it lit up her whole face.

Raito led the way up the staircase, not being able to help but notice how abnormally close the other male was keeping to his behind.

"You just couldn't wait to get me upstairs, could you, Right-o?"

"I just couldn't wait to get you away from my parents," He retorted, stopping before his bedroom door and pushing on the handle.

"Oh yeah? Why's that then?" Ryuzaki said, his tones hushed once again despite the fact there was nobody around to hear them. He closed the door behind him and moved in closer to Raito.

"Clearly because you were embarrassing me. _They _were embarrassing me." He whispered back, unsure as to why.

Cool hands slid around his waist and pulled him in, their noses just touching.

"Aw, sorry, baby." Ryuzaki cocked his head to one said, feigning sympathy in a way that aggravated the younger teen.

Yet not enough to inspire any resistance to the sudden clinch.

The hands on Raito's hips began to paw at him, pulling him in closer and squeezing hard, their lips parted and almost meeting, noses brushing.

The auburn haired teen could feel something hard rub against his thigh as their bodies came together, and came apart again, only to quickly come together again, unconsciously grinding their pelvis'.

"All I could think about was doing this to you all through dinner." Ryuzaki's voice was just a breath as he finally sealed their mouths together, eyes closing and hands roaming.

It took a moment for them to realize someone had opened Raito's bedroom door, the knock having gone unheard.

Hmm, I feel this is pretty rusty as it's been so long, but I'm just getting back into the swing of it, so not such a serious chapter J

ANYWAY OLD PENNAME IS BACK WOOOOOT


	16. Chapter 16

Thank you to BeyondTheBeautiful for givin me a kick up the bum to write this chapter (actually, all she did was ask very nicely if there was more) and then for beta-ing it for me :D

Chapter 16- Realization

Raito's bedroom door slowly creaked inward, cautiously, as if the person about to enter wished not to disturb whatever it was the teenage pair inside were doing, be it serious study or quietly chatting to each other, perhaps moaning about the embarrassing affair that was the family dinner just now.

There appeared to be no reaction to the subtle intrusion, so she pushed the door in further and was suddenly aware as to why her gentle knock had gone unnoticed. The shock of what she saw rendered her momentarily speechless. Her breath caught in her throat and her hand flew to her mouth, stifling her own voice for when she eventually tried to cry out in surprise.

"R...Raito...!"

The two boys instantly stopped, tearing away from each other as if the voice had the same effect as the crack of a whip. Nobody said anything. Every limb in the room frozen, every pair of lips halted between speaking out and remaining silent, three pairs of eyes all locked on each other, wide and unblinking.

"Aww...fuuuuuuuuck..." Ryuzaki drawled, doing nothing to help the situation, except for snapping the other two out of their trance.

"Raito...what's...I don't..I don't get it?"

The teenager in question stood there, no longer able to feel his lips due to the fact he was concentrating on them to form an intelligible response and force it out. His heart hammered in his chest and all he managed to do was stare pleadingly at Ryuzaki, as if he could offer some sort of life saving miracle to extract them from this situation. What he got instead was a cool hand wrapping firmly around his own, offering silent support, the only thing he _could_ feasibly offer right now. Gripping tightly back, he took a deep, steady breath and exhaled through pursed lips, readying himself to speak.

"Sayu, I think you had better come in," his voice shook, betraying his nerves. "And shut the door behind you." He hastily added as an afterthought.

Ryuzaki gave his shoulder a reassuring rub as their hands parted, leaving Raito free to deal with his sister. He gestured for her to take a seat on his bed where she'd be most comfortable but she declined, the defiant stare in her eyes telling him more so than words ever could. Raito could understand the shock and surprise she initially displayed, but the evident anger eluded him. Blurred irrational thought process' flashed through his head in short bursts, however he quickly disregarded them, realizing for once how unfeasible and truly irrelevant to the situation they really were.

"Sayu, I..." His throat croaked as he cut himself short, suddenly realizing that he had no idea as to how to end that sentence. What was he supposed to explain?

"'You'? You what, big brother?" She stood there, arms folded, staring up at him with that defiant look refusing to wane.

"I...I don't know." He knew straight away how lame that sounded. But it was true. He didn't know. He didn't know what was going on himself, so how was he expected to explain it to his younger sister?

"I think," The perpetually calm voice of the older teen gently cut in, bed springs creaking as he eased himself up from the mattress to stand beside his younger, more nervous counterpart. "...what Raito might be trying to convey is that he knows you may not understand, given the situation, and that it may be a bit of a ...shock, but me and your brother," A hand clapped around Raito's shoulder at this point and pulled him into a slightly fiercer than intended protective grip. "We, kinda, like each other. Care about each other."

Her dark brown eyes darted between the two older boys in front of her huddled in a tight embrace, one a face so familiar and nervous, eyes downcast and lips no where near smiling, the other a near stranger with white, luminescent skin and a smile so wide that if circumstances were different, she wouldn't be able to help but smile back, so infectious in nature that it was.

Her quip back was surprisingly petulant, "I can see that you 'care' about each other."

Taking a step forward she jabbed an accusatory finger at her brother's chest, startling him into standing ramrod straight.

"What upsets me, big brother, is not that you're obviously a homosexual, it's that you stole the boy you know I'm in love with!"

Raito was barely aware of the sudden transformation of his expression but it must have been something close to incredibly indignant, because he had not expected this to be, in the slightest, the reaction she was going to burst out with. He stood there, struck dumb, unable to determine whether the boldness of her statement startled him more than how innocently childish it was.

He sighed inwardly, almost wishing that she was just shocked by his orientation, not overcome by an apparent jealousy he'd had no way of knowing would have existed. If he didn't know how to handle his own love life, how was he going to offer advice to his angry younger sister who believed that a crush meant she was in love?

He stood there, stock still, internally debating whether to reach out and comfort her, when the realization of what was about to happen struck him with abject horror. His entire body grew cold as he watched her stand there, feet firmly grounded, and open her mouth to fill her lungs deeply with air, readying herself to…

"MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!"

Her yell amplified in her brother's ears by the sheer terror of what was about to occur, the sound of feet pounding up the stairs, eager to discern what the impending emergency could be. The two boys snatched their arms away from each other moments before Raito's mother appeared at the door, hurried and panting.

"Sayu! What is it?" she breathed, her hand clutched at her throat but slowly lowering to her side once she had deemed for herself that there was no imminent danger. Her brow furrowed as she surveyed the situation, her son and friend standing at the back of the room, appearing bewildered, her younger daughter staring up at her, deep set frown etched upon her face. "What on earth is it, Sayu?" Her tone now a little impatient. "Why on earth did you need to scream so loud?"

The young girl opened her mouth, hands balled into fists and not even realizing it, and found no words came out. She looked back to her brother, standing there, eyes deadpan as he waited for something awful to unfold. She remembered his expression at the dinner table, just moments before, and even though he may not have been smiling and laughing like his friend had been, he was the most relaxed she had seen him for years. The stress wasn't tugging at his skin, knitting his eyebrows or pulling at the corners of his mouth like it so often was. But now his brown eyes barely concealed the nervous anticipation that he had become so accustomed to experiencing, and she had brought it all back in a matter of moments.

"Raito..." Her voice croaked as she peered at the floor, searching her mind for the words. "Raito won't help me with my homework and it's really important." The sentence came out in a feeble whoosh of breath, understanding what pathetic reasoning it was for such a tantrum. Gradually, she peered back up, her eyes meeting with her mother's reprimanding stare.

"Sayu, the boy's have homework of their own, apologize and..."

"Mum, it's fine. She can stay, it won't take me a minute. It was selfish of me not to help her in the first place."

Sachiko looked to her son, not wishing to interfere and cause a fuss. He looked relaxed. And there was something else, but she couldn't quite place it. She would have said relief but that couldn't possibly be right. Nodding, she left the room, pulling the door to behind her.

"Just don't disturb them for too long," came her parting remark, floating from halfway up the stair case.

The young girl stood, facing the two older boys, not quite able to stare them in the eye. Embarrassment was stamped across her face, her mouth set into a line.

All that passed through the chilled silence was a hushed thank you from the older of the siblings.

"Ah, Sayu. Lovely, little Sayu." The eldest teen suddenly spoke up, his voice seeming oddly out of place in the midst of all the hush. Hands jammed into pockets, shoulders hunched, he took a few steps forward, kneeling down in front of the young girl, which only succeeded in making him two heads below eye level.

Raito's skin prickled in horror at the aspect of how this was about to be handled. As far as he was concerned, nothing else needed to be said now. She'd apologized in her own way and that should be the end of it. All he could envision was joke after tasteless joke streaming out, perhaps with a bit inappropriate 'harmless' flirting thrown in to the mix, in attempt to liven the mood. Massaging his temples with his fingers, he shut his eyes and bowed his head. He could feel a headache developing, but despite his bodies protest, he still could not find it in himself to open his mouth and offer the words his sister obviously wanted and needed to hear.

Deciding to pick himself up off the floor, Ryuzaki padded toward the bed and sat down on the edge, rucking the covers beneath him and patting the space next to him in invitation.

Sayu stood grounded, staring the boy straight in the eye, his smile never wavering, until she finally broke and sighed, shoulders sagging as she trod heavily over, taking up the space that rendered her a good distance away from either of the boys.

Ryuzaki scooted over so that they were knee to knee, all the while remaining with that ridiculous smile that would make anybody else look stupid.

"Sayu, have you ever been in love before?"

She turned her face up to his, stony expression beginning to crack. Raito could see as her eyes began to soften.

"Before you, you mean? No. Not once."

Something about how childish her voice was with it's high pitched intonations, and how innocent her statement was caused Raito's heart to squeeze. She may have been a teenager but was still just a child.

"So, how do you know you are this time?" Ryuzaki's tone remained gentle, not at all mocking in his questioning.

"Because...I don't know! You're so cool. And when I see you I get butterflies." As she spoke she studied her fingers which were fidgeting uncomfortably in her lap, hiding the cheeks which were steadily growing pinker with each sentence.

The black haired boy laughed, a small, musical sound that escaped his throat, it's intentions good natured and soothing. "You're right, that is a very good sign."

Sayu remained intently staring at her fingers.

"Do you feel anything else?"

Three firm shakes of her head acting as a no.

"Well," he began, pulling his legs up so that his knees were tucked under his chin. "When you are in love, sometimes you feel like you can't eat. Like those butterflies you just mentioned? Sometimes you get that so bad you feel like you'd be sick if you ate anything."

Ryuzaki paused and studied the young girl, wondering if what he'd just said made any sense to her. She was staring at him, her mouth a thin line, patiently waiting for more.

The pale skinned teen tugged at the hair which hung over his ear and rolled his eyes skyward, searching for a way to go on. "You feel like no one compares to that person, and that even their downfalls don't matter, and the idea of a world without them is absolutely crushing."

Raito stood observing the two, his sister's young face absorbing everything that was being said to her by the older boy.

Ryuzaki rocked himself gently back and forth, pushing his bare toes into the duvet and feeling the material bunch up between them. His eyes glazed momentarily, not particularly focusing on the corner of the ceiling they were currently directed at, head cocked slightly to the left, dark hair just grazing his shoulder.

"When you really fall in love with someone, nothing else seems important. You wake up and they're on your mind, you go to bed and they're on your mind. You can't help but wonder what they're doing when they're not with you, even if you don't realize you're thinking about it. It's always there, even when they're just loose, vague thoughts that have barely materialized."

Sayu stayed perfectly silent, her lips slightly parted as if what she had been going to say was no longer relevant.

The older boy fixed her with one of the most sincere expressions Raito had ever seen settle across his face. It was unexpectedly humbling, causing his heart to tighten in his chest.

"I know it can become confusing when you've only just started noticing boys, we've all been there, I've been there. Actually, quite literally in my case," he laughed softly, interrupting himself. "But you're gonna have crushes on loadsa' boys, not jus' me, and when you're a bit older you'll be able to tell when it's sincere."

Raito was shocked to notice that his sister's eyes had grown dewy, a tear threatening to spill at the corner, Her lip trembled as she went to speak yet her voice came out clear.

"Really?"

"Yeah, sure! You don't need to get upset, you'll get the hang of it when you're older."

She nodded, balling the material of her skirt in her fists and fixated on her hands once again, not wanting to say out loud why she was close to tears, because of how she'd almost hurt her brother like that and the shame that went with it.

A large, warm palmed hand clapped around her shoulder and tugged her into a one armed hug, a nose brushing against her ear, followed by lips that breathed hushed words into them that made her forget her guilt.

He released her and she stood, quietly exiting to her room with a final low toned apology directed at Raito. A smile lifted one corner of his mouth and he shut the door behind her.

He turned to find his dark haired friend balancing on his computer chair precariously, toes wrapped round the edge as he sat on his haunches, oblivious to how insane he looked.

"What is it, Right-o? Why you lookin' at me like that?"

He hopped down from his perch and closed the distance between them, bringing his arms out for a clinch that was interrupted just moments ago. Raito put up his hands, postponing the embrace so he could speak out what was on his mind. His breath rolled across the pallid cheeks in front of him.

"Ryuzaki...you handled that expertly."

"Well..." the older teen mocked bashful behaviour. "You know, I am pretty smart." Easing his friends protesting grip, he slid his hands round his back and began to draw him in to his warm body, once again meeting resistance as their cheeks almost brushed.

"Just one more thing. What did you say to her at the end? When you gave her that hug I could tell you were saying something. Her face changed, she looked surprised."

Ryuzaki's eyes were so close that he could almost discern the perfect black pupil from their near black iris', the rest of his face cast into an unfocussed blur.

"I just asked if she could leave so that I could continue making out with her smokin' hot brother."

Raito sighed deeply, knowing that the answer he sought wouldn't come to him. "If you're going to lie to me you're not going to get what you want."

"Oh, Righto, we both know that's not true."

The digital clock on the bedside table flickered to nine o clock, the red spilling out and illuminating the dully lit room as the younger of the two found he couldn't stick to his word.

It was close to ten by the time Ryuzaki had left, Raito having had to forcibly extract him from his room and out of the door, his reasoning of homework to complete seeming to fall on deaf, or perhaps simply unwilling, ears.

He trudged up the stairs, leaving behind the din of a late night programme that his mother was watching emanating from the living room, and headed for his own. The landing light was off, a strip of illumination spilling out onto the carpet from his sister's ajar door. He stood before it and knocked gently before pushing it open, scraping it across the thick carpet.

The young girl looked up from her desk, pen in hand, text books open and scattered across the table top, her eyes tired and heavy. "I really did have homework," she offered, voice heavy with fatigue but a trace of humour.

"I just want to say I really appreciate what you did earlier." He stifled a yawn that dared to come out once he had opened his mouth. "It was really good of you."

She smiled ruefully, her head meeting her shoulder as she shrugged on one side. "It was the least I could do after acting like such a brat."

Her older brother laughed, as if to say forget about it.

"Shall I shut your door on the way out?"

"Uh huh. Oh, and Raito?"

He paused, hand on door knob, glancing over his shoulder.

"You're really lucky. To have someone love you like that."

His brow creased in confusion, before realizing how she must have misconstrued the conversation with Ryuzaki.

"We're not in love, Sayu. To be honest, at the moment we're not really anything." His voice kept low on the unlikely possibility that his mother had silently ascended the stairs behind him.

The girl knit her eyebrows and appeared somewhat incredulous.

"Raito, just before I left, he said to me, when he gave me that hug, that he could tell me all that, 'cos he knew."

"Sayu, Ryuzaki is a very well read individual, I am sure he was simply regurgitating something he'd..."

"No, Raito, he said he knew 'cos that's what he feels about you all the time."


End file.
